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Irish Personal Ads
A collection of Irish personal ads, supposedly culled from the Dublin News, is doing the email rounds. They're in the genre of Brutally Honest Personal Ads (I've reported on examples of this genre before). In this case, I'm guessing that the ads, if they really did appear in the Dublin News, were meant to be tongue-in-cheek (though I haven't seen the paper, so I can't really tell). But whatever the case may be, they're definitely quite funny. Here they are:

Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict
interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes,
Glasgow Celtic Football Club and starting fights on Patrick
Street at three o'clock in the morning.

Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by longtime
fiancee, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a
thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.

Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed
and shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady
for bail purposes, maybe more.

Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp
cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21
year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.

Devil-worshipper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded lady, for
wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic
walks, and slaughtering cats in cemeteries at midnight
under the flinty light of a pale moon.

Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks
alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.

Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old
double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-
minded twin sister.

(via Sore Eyes)
Email HoaxesSex/Romance
Posted by The Curator on Tue Aug 17, 2004


Hi,

These 'personals' have been doing the rounds here in Ireland for a while, and are a good joke, no more. I'm pretty sure there is no such publication as the 'Dublin News'.

Keep up the good work!

Mary
Posted by Mary Otten  in  Dublin, Ireland  on  Tue Aug 17, 2004  at  06:43 AM
Yeah, I've seen the last two before, though I can't remember where. Runs about the same as the 'please send photo of boat' ones.
Posted by Flynn  in  California  on  Wed Aug 18, 2004  at  12:44 AM
I'm pretty sure these are from a humourous column that appears on the back page of the 'Irish Examiner' on Saturdays. The author of the column (damned if I can remeber the guys name) often uses does fake small town news.
Posted by Duggan  in  Cork (it's in Ireland, you bozo)  on  Wed Aug 18, 2004  at  05:34 PM
Bit late, I know, but being from Dubln I thought I'd comment, I've never ever heard of this "Dublin News"
But heck, they are funny.
Posted by Phil  in  Dublin  on  Sun Aug 29, 2004  at  03:35 PM
I lived in Dublin for six months (back in 1991) and I had never heard of the Dublin News either. But I googled the name, and something did turn up. It must keep a low profile.
Posted by The Curator  in  San Diego  on  Mon Aug 30, 2004  at  02:36 AM
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