imageInfants-Blood is a website that claims: "Our uncompromising approach to quality means we offer simply the best infant's blood on the market today. Independent lab analysis proves it. And your taste buds will know the difference! "

They offer products in a number of categories - Bath & Beauty, Health & Nutrition, Premium Blood and Virgin's Blood.

It's pretty obviously a joke website. There are some wonderful quotes on it, including:
If Virgin's Blood provides us such wonderful benefits, what can we salvage from a failed virgin? Infant's blood! It seems so simple, so obvious, so right to us now – but in the 16th century this idea was nothing short of revolutionary! For all virgins are not infants, but all infants are virgins; and while it is true infants provide us much less blood than a fully-grown virgin, how much more potent and delicious that blood is! And thus began production of what today is's most popular product line! Truly, as Professor Basarab notes, "It is no exaggeration to say that Elizabeth Bathory is the Newton of the blood sciences!"

The 'Did You Know?' section is pretty funny, too.

For anyone who is still concerned, it's worth noting that if you attempt to log in or 'view cart', you (unsurprisingly) get a page that says: Due to overwhelming customer response, we are currently experiencing extremely high traffic. Online ordering is temporarily unavailable. We apologize for the inconvenience.
To place an order, please contact one of our Customer Care Specialists at
We appreciate your business and thank you for letting us serve all your baby-blood-related needs. Please accept our apologies and a complimentary pint of fresh Virgin's Blood.

Birth/Babies Food Gross

Posted on Wed Aug 30, 2006


Love the Bathory reference, lol
Posted by MadCarlotta  on  Wed Aug 30, 2006  at  11:21 AM
And you can use infant's blood in place of your usual motor oil in your SUV - just ask your mechanic. Bwahahaha!!!
Posted by stork  in  the spiracles of space  on  Wed Aug 30, 2006  at  04:22 PM
Our Premium blend uses 100% blonde, curly-haired infants
Posted by Jackie  on  Wed Aug 30, 2006  at  05:29 PM
the disclaimer section is pretty good too.
Posted by wdl  on  Wed Aug 30, 2006  at  06:18 PM
Jackie sez:
"... Hey! I resent that... My blood is just as tastey..."

Oh, yeah? Prove it.
Posted by Big Gary  on  Thu Aug 31, 2006  at  04:46 PM
Posted by C.K.  on  Sat Sep 02, 2006  at  01:40 PM
I may be a small three-year-old writing this- not to mention a little brother of Hermione Granger- but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. And that so-called "Blood" IS NOT blood! When I had a free sample of it, I learned and alerted Viktor that THAT STUFF IS RASPBERRY JAM!!! And thus it is not blood.
Posted by Trevor Granger  on  Fri Feb 23, 2007  at  07:11 PM
I'm not sure what to say about it. This site was kinda funny, but really disgusting at the same time. : - (
PS: I didn't know Hermione had a little brother.
Posted by Matt  on  Tue May 08, 2007  at  08:10 PM
hmm my order was delious yeah yummy yummy nice n warm... eh hehehehe.... hey but on the real, i did for a sec thought the site was real. and i was like what the fuck? you can sell blood on the net, wow! :o lol...
psh, like you need to buy blood, when u can get it for free, muahaha :p lol
Posted by scarlet  on  Wed Jun 04, 2008  at  06:57 AM
MmmmMmmmm babies blood
Posted by YOR Health  on  Mon Dec 22, 2008  at  06:25 PM
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