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Dyslexic Gerbils
image I've always felt strongly that something should be done about the plight of dyslexic newborn gerbils, but thankfully I see that somebody has already taken steps to tackle this problem. It's the International Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dyslexic Newborn Gerbils. "This organization, now in its fifth year of existence, is devoted to the plight of the helpless infant gerbils that come into this harsh world unable to learn, write, or even communicate with their families.  It is the goal of this organization to educate the masses about this terrible epidemic of rodent learning disorders, and to stop the mindless cruelty that these poor creatures are subject to every day." Unfortunately it appears that their site hasn't been updated in over two years.
AnimalsWebsites
Posted by The Curator on Mon Jan 31, 2005


The site hasn't been updated for two years, due, no doubt to the high probability that the organization members are busy stamping out dyslexic newborn gerbils. I'd like to get rid of developmentally delayed Presidents who eat dead rats. Save The Clock Tower (It's The Libyans!)
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Tue Feb 01, 2005  at  02:21 AM
I lived in Calif for 15 years and as far as I know you can't even buy a gerbil there....maybe Mr. Gere can add to that if he sees this
Posted by Darren  on  Tue Feb 01, 2005  at  11:44 AM
Having spent a little time in the academic racket, I'm wondering how you diagnose dyslexia in a newborn gerbil. I'm sure somebody, somewhere, has gotten a grant for this.

Maybe the reason they haven't updated the site for a while is that the members of the S.P.C.D.N.G. are themselves dyslexic?
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Tue Feb 01, 2005  at  11:54 AM
As a boy, I raised hamsters for a short time, and I seem to recall that the newborns don't even open their eyes until they are a few days old. Assuming that the same thing is true about gerbils, every newborn gerbil would be, by definition, dyslexic (unable to read or unable to learn to read).
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Tue Feb 01, 2005  at  11:57 AM
It is indeed the same in gerbils, Big Gary C. Having raised somewhere in the region of 300 of them during my teenage years (we bred them to go to pet shops), I can assure you that they do not open their eyes until they are around ten days old.

So, pedantically, you're right!
tongue wink
Posted by Boo  in  Edinburgh  on  Tue Feb 01, 2005  at  12:04 PM
"stamping out dyslexic newborn gerbils."

peta would be on their asses SO fast. . .
Posted by Jacob  on  Tue Feb 01, 2005  at  04:00 PM
I don't know how you people can be so cruel to those poor dyslexic gerbils. I have a gerbil who suffers the deeply saddening misfortune of being dyslexic. We discovered it when he was just a gerbilet. The incident in which we found out that he was dyslexic is too devastating to mention. But I just have one last thought to leave with you: just because these precious little rodents are dyslexic, it does not mean they are stupid. So hats off to you, brave Mr. Nibbles and courageous Fluffy. Hats off.
Posted by Rachel  in  Mink, LA  on  Tue Feb 01, 2005  at  04:58 PM
When he was a gerbilet? Isn't that what you take out of the turkey before you cook it?
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Wed Feb 02, 2005  at  12:42 PM
That's giblets, the cleaned gizzard, liver, and heart (sometimes the neck too) of poultry, generally used to flavor gravy.
Posted by Bill B.  on  Wed Feb 02, 2005  at  01:47 PM
I know - replace the dislexic Gerbils with robotic ones. You could start by buying some Lego, and reading http://orionrobots.co.uk!
Posted by orion  in  London  on  Wed Feb 02, 2005  at  02:15 PM
Hey, Boo, pedantic is my middle name. If you don't believe it, check out my comments on licking catfish from Monday.
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Wed Feb 02, 2005  at  04:41 PM
Fools! Poor Fonsie wouldn't eat for days after we told him he was dyslexic!
Posted by Rachel  in  Mink, LA  on  Wed Feb 02, 2005  at  09:15 PM
"That's giblets, the cleaned gizzard, liver, and heart (sometimes the neck too) of poultry, generally used to flavor gravy."
-Thanks for the cooking tip. rolleyes
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Thu Feb 03, 2005  at  11:38 AM
Having spent a little time in the academic racket, I'm wondering how you diagnose dyslexia in a newborn gerbil. I'm sure somebody, somewhere, has gotten a grant for this.
Posted by Legos on sale  in  Miami  on  Sat Mar 13, 2010  at  03:01 PM
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