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Authentic Alien Mummy Corpse
image A guy on eBay is selling what he speculates to be an authentic alien mummy corpse. He claims that he found it lying on the ground near his home in Tampa a few days after hearing loud booms (which he assumed to be a UFO crashing). He writes: "I hestitated about taking it home with me ...could it be radio active? could it have deadly alien pathogens?  After putting on rubber gloves I felt safer, so I took it home with me. There seems to be no animal or insect damage."

The thing that potential buyers on eBay seem more worried about is not if it contains deadly alien pathogens, but whether it's a human corpse. I don't think so. It looks like a feejee mermaid to me, and these are usually made out of monkey corpses. For instance, it seems quite similar to this handsome fellow whose picture was doing the rounds a while ago. There's no way he found this just lying on the ground somewhere. (thanks to Beasjt for the link)
eBayExtraterrestrial Life
Posted by The Curator on Wed Mar 23, 2005


Hmmmmmm; This guy can't be serious. If it were real or even thought of as real, the Government would be knocking down his door.
Posted by X  in  McKinney, TX  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  10:54 AM
Also, the name of his company is "SEA MYTH CREATIONS" That is a DEAD givaway.
Posted by X  in  McKinney, TX  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  11:00 AM
yeah, rubber gloves are sure to protect you from all manner of deadly alien pathogens!
Posted by brent benderton  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  11:52 AM
Right up there, on Hairy's Shelf of Curiousities, I have a Squeegee Metermaid, which I aquired in New Yawk, while on shore leave. I won her in a wharf tavern game of Uno, from a Peruvian Submarine Commander named Fernando.
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  12:02 PM
Fernando had a brother Earl, who made training films for the Peruvian Navy and Llama Cavalry. They both coveted my Squeegee Mermaid so much, that they kept contact with me, should I ever choose to return it to 'Nando.
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  12:08 PM
Hahah. How could anyone believe this? Just look at what the guy sold a couple weeks ago... link
Posted by Kat  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  12:08 PM
The Squeege Metermaid did lead me, however, to a stint doing "Grip Work" for Llama Bros. FilmVerks, and some Llama-wrangling for Earl on a couple of his film collaborations with Sven Nyberg Llama
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  12:18 PM
Okay, here's some links you might find interesting.

When I looked at his ebay feedback, it has several references to Feejee Mermaids. It also has a few references to artist "juan Cabana".
A google for him turns up this http://www.isidore-of-seville.com/mermaids/33-10.html

A google for Sea Myth Creations turned up very few hits. This one is a message board where he has posted http://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/forum/lofiversion/index.php/t31317.html

"Greetings, Mad Manfred

I made the Ape Man head from a human skull and real monkey skin head .

For the fans of Cryptozoology . I also make sea monsters ."
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  12:18 PM
In case you're wondering, my Squeegee Metermaid has the face of a metermaid and a squeegee for a tail. 'Nando said it looked like his wife. I thought it bore a striking resemblance to Sally Field
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  12:21 PM
I'd bring the Squeegee Mermaid with me when I went to visit 'Nando and Earl, and we'd put a stuffed seagull on it's head, with the wings out. It looked just like Sister Bertril from The Flying Nun
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  12:24 PM
We'd get all messed up, and Earl would start doing his "Carlos" impression. You know- Alejandro Rey, all nervous and sputtering: "Que es su problema, Hermana Stupida!" Always a thrill
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  12:27 PM
If you look real close, you can see the Squeegee Metermaid done up as Sister Bertril, on the shelf, in the bathtub scene from Earl's classic "Deep Llama". Don't blink, or you'll miss it.
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  12:31 PM
It could be real; it bears a striking resemblance to the creatures (no offense) in Mars Attacks!
Posted by Chadds Ford Prefect  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  02:34 PM
its a baked midget!
Posted by Hawkeye  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  05:31 PM
Alex, Alex, Alex, how could you doubt the veracity of a listing on eBay, where the intent is to make as much money as possible for your listed item by inticing the reader with a great story about it?

What, you think that people are motivated to lie because of money? Sheesh.
Posted by Cranky Media Guy  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  07:47 PM
There's a plastic skeleton sold by educational supply companies called "Mr. Thrifty," which is about three feet tall and looks exactly like this alien, provided that something was added to bulge up the head. Haunted house enthusiasts regularly apply cotton and papier mache or glue to the full-sized versions to make mummies. I'll bet anything that's what we have here. A lot easier to come by than a dead monkey.
Posted by Eric  in  Indiana  on  Wed Mar 23, 2005  at  10:42 PM
What a nutcookie this auctioneer is. He says the body must have mummified in Florida's hot sun? Laying in the sun will NOT cause a body to mummify. Geez, watch some Discovery Channel sometime.

Be sure to look at the viewer-submitted questions at the bottom of the auction page. This guy uses any excuse to talk about how great and free the US of A is, and God Bless the military. People are asking him questions about monkey skins and he's spouting jingoist slogans.

Get this guy back on his meds.
Posted by Barghest  on  Thu Mar 24, 2005  at  12:08 AM
Looks like it's been pulled...
Posted by Paul in Prague  in  errr...  on  Thu Mar 24, 2005  at  03:32 AM
I can't check out the page...BUT...if anyone is interested...

MacDill AFB in Tampa had planes breaking the sound barrier a few weeks ago. Maybe 2 weeks ago? And people all over felt, lots of calls to media stations & police departments. They do this every now & again...and YES it really was planes & not alien ships...B/c I was visiting my grandfather's warehouse & saw them over head.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Thu Mar 24, 2005  at  11:36 AM
What a nutcookie this auctioneer is. He says the body must have mummified in Florida's hot sun? Laying in the sun will NOT cause a body to mummify. Geez, watch some Discovery Channel sometime.

Be sure to look at the viewer-submitted questions at the bottom of the auction page. This guy uses any excuse to talk about how great and free the US of A is, and God Bless the military. People are asking him questions about monkey skins and he's spouting jingoist slogans.

Get this guy back on his meds.
Posted by Barghest on Wed Mar 23, 2005 at 09:08 PM

Mr.? Barghest,

What is the real reason for your anger towards me >?
In my auction I stated that I would not sell to anyone living in a communist country . According to ebay rules Barghest, a seller may choose to sell in the U.S. only , or you can choose to sell to the rest of the world . Or you can even choose several countries and reject other countries for your own reasons. A woman wrote to me , claiming to be from a communist country , she was angry ( because I would not mail the Alien to her communist country ) and told me many insults about the United States.
She was telling how great her communist country was and how weak the U.S. military was " China would defeat the U.S. in war " , China will take Tiawan back ..she pissed me off . So I defend the U.S. , I try to say good things about the country I was born in ...and somehow you think I'm fake ?
Please explain this to me ....were you even born here in the United States , Barghest ?
So if I say something negative about my country or something POSITIVE , I would be attacked by someone like you ? ( what gives you the right ? you don't know me ) the other option is to never say anything about my country ?
Am I supposed to stay silent ( while someone insults me and my country ) .....? Why ?
I was born in the U.S. , does this not make me an American of the United States ?

Barghest , I have several friends ,who where in differant branches of the U.S. military , I also happen to be a Christian .....so why cannot I say " God Bless the United States Military ", ?

Barghest, you have never been in Florida , I was born here and have been here many many years .
Things do mummify in the Hot Florida sun ....as long as you have a few days of sun and no rain or heavy humidity , things dry out ....lizards, rats , mice, cats, dogs , Fish Skins......on and on . Doubt me ? ask anyone who has lived in Florida for a few years .
Barghest, most people who wrote me liked my alien auction , they knew it was meant to be humorous, not to be taken so seriously as you did .
I am sorry the " UFO & Alien SCIENTISTS ", were so angry with my auction . You guys are so serious you have forgotten how to laugh .

I think ebay ended my auction because the link that was on the " me " page after my ebay seller name . I have gotten rid of that link , so maybe the Authentic Alien will be back !

best regards, juan
Posted by Juan  in  Tampa  on  Thu Mar 24, 2005  at  07:30 PM
Yes, we're all ENTIRELY too serious around here...
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Thu Mar 24, 2005  at  07:43 PM
Cute attempt at trolling, but I'm not taking the bait.

Thanks for calling my attention to the "I Won't Sell To Communist Countries" though, I didn't even see that. That's even funnier.

How many commie countries are left, anyway? China and North Korea, who else?
Posted by Barghest  on  Thu Mar 24, 2005  at  09:32 PM
Cuba, Vietnam... uh... Laos...


I think that's it.
Posted by sombrero11  in  Cleveland, OH  on  Thu Mar 24, 2005  at  11:51 PM
So we are to believe that someone in China, North Korea, Cuba, Vietnam, or Laos saw the alien mummy monkey on eBay, decided they had to have it, and were incensed at the seller's policy of not selling his bits of jerky to communist countries. What are the odds?

It's almost too absurd a situation to imagine. Classic....
Posted by Barghest  on  Fri Mar 25, 2005  at  12:55 AM
Oh, THAT's the smart thing to do, piss off the commies by not selling them yet ANOTHER product.

tongue wink

Sombrero11 and Barghest are right, collectively.

I found this website. It says that "As of 2004, there are 5 communist states in the world: China, Cuba, Laos, North Korea and Vietnam."

I only post this because on the site it gives links to all of these places, and puts them all in one place.
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Fri Mar 25, 2005  at  09:44 AM
I actually have been to Florida several times, and I remember it being quite humid.

http://www.factmonster.com/ce6/society/A0859828.html

Look around on the links at the bottom for other details of mummification.

The long and the short of it is: mummification either occurs naturally or artificially. Natural mummification requires extremely arid and airtight conditions--immersion in a peat bog, freezing, or being hidden in a mountain cave. Artificial mummification requires embalming and extensive preparations.

Florida is far too wet (it is a semitropical below-sea-level peninsula after all) to naturally produce mummies. And it SURE AS HELL isn't airtight! I don't remember there being mummies lying all over the ground the last time I went there, either. Ludicrous.

The only rational explanation is that a flying saucer which, for some reason, was carrying a cargo of mummified alien remains crashed or jettisoned its cargo over Florida. Because the only way a mummy is going to turn up there is if it was made or accidentally created somewhere else and dumped there.
Posted by Barghest  on  Fri Mar 25, 2005  at  10:55 PM
...I do know that I have found little creatures baked by the sun. They are dry and crispy...they don't have an odd odor & then tend to fall apart if you're not gentle with them. I'm not sure they're really mumified...b/c they're not really preserved. Isn't that what mummification is all about?

Sorry, Juan. I can't help defend you. I've lived here my whole life & have yet to find a preserved body.
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Sun Mar 27, 2005  at  08:13 AM
Barghest and Rod, go back to your communist countries. If you support selling items to commies then you deserve to live amoung them.
Posted by anti - commie  in  Arizona  on  Fri Dec 23, 2005  at  11:46 AM
...I do know that I have found little creatures baked by the sun. They are dry and crispy...they don't have an odd odor & then tend to fall apart if you're not gentle with them. I'm not sure they're really mumified...b/c they're not really preserved. Isn't that what mummification is all about?

YES...you just stated that you have found mummified creatures in Florida, then you go on to say that you never found a preserved body...I have seen mummified frogs ( on the streets of Florida ) I have found mummified rats and mice in my attic, in my tool shed I have found a mummified cat....and I also live in Florida.

Give me your address Maegan and I will send you some of these preserved bodies you say don't exist.
Posted by you contradict yourself Maegan  on  Thu Dec 29, 2005  at  11:31 AM
My name is Tony and I reside in England, where i collect " Handsome " shrunken heads. I admit I wrote my earlier responses in anger. I envy artistic talent, since I have none. One day I will write the greatest book ever on shrunken heads...you'll see !
Posted by Barghest  in  England  on  Sat Feb 04, 2006  at  12:50 PM
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