April Fools 2005

I'll try to post about April Fools Jokes here as I find out about them. Already I've found a few:
  • Residents of Melbourne arrive at the beach to help save 'needle-nose dolphins' washed ashore, only to learn needle-nose dolphins are syringes.
  • A Taiwanese university student posted a fake story alleging that China had launched a 'decapitation strike' against Taiwan. Taiwanese authorities don't find it funny.
  • UnderGoos: Google underwear search engine (Google parody)
  • Bare Bones Software announces new software that will record critical user data onto a "durable backup medium": punchout cards.
  • UN votes to shut down the internet: the rapid and uncontrolled flow of information was destabilizing the governments of many of the member states... The Nigerian representative stormed out after the vote saying that the shutdown would destroy his country's largest source of income.
  • THIS IS REAL: Miss Wheelchair Wisconsin stripped of her crown because she can stand.
  • THIS IS REAL: BBC tries to interview Bob Marley; doesn't realize he's been dead for 24 years.
  • The Sun reports that a 650-year-old law has allowed gypsies to set up camp on the lawn at Windsor Castle.
  • The Sun also reports that "Barmy Brussels bureaucrats want to BAN April Fools' Day -- because it is too dangerous".
  • The Independent reports that Jamie Oliver (the Naked Chef guy) is going to run as a Tory candidate in the UK's next election.
  • The Mirror announced that sheep are going to be used to mow the lawn at Wembley Stadium: "the natural fertiliser of their droppings has reduced the need for chemicals meaning less allergic reaction on players"
  • The Daily Mail has published pictures of Prince Charles visiting a lingerie shop to pick out things for Camilla: "he is caught pondering over a matching camisole and apparently seeking advice from his young son Prince Harry on the delicate question of how one should invite one's wife to turn one on".
  • Giant Penguin: Tokyo Zoo announces the discovery of a new giant penguin.
  • Left-Handed Golf Ball: The Birmingham Post reports that "Sports manufacturer Dunlop has announced its plans to mass produce a revolutionary new golf ball, designed specifically for left-handed players"
  • The Melbourne Herald Sun reports that Virgin Australia has announced the debut of scratch 'n sniff barbecue-scented credit cards: "Virgin says the scratch 'n sniff card will be a hit with homesick Aussies travelling overseas."
  • SpaceDaily reports that "Bush Cancels Space Shuttle Program": "US President George W Bush declared today that he had signed a rare presidential decree canceling any further expenditure of Federal funds on the US Space Shuttle program." (thanks to Gabe for spotting this)
  • Network Working Group calls for Morality to be considered in the design of internet protocols: It has often been the case that morality has not been given proper consideration in the design and specification of protocols produced within the Routing Area. This has led to a decline in the moral values within the Internet.
  • Texas Enacts Leviticus as State Law
  • Uninvent The Wheel: BMW has an ad in today's Guardian, describing a new car they've developed that has no steering wheel. It's to make it easier for the British when they have to change the side of the road they drive on. Includes mention of a Dr. Bitt Fishi.
  • Google Gulp: Google debuts a new 'smart drink', "a DNA scanner embedded in the lip of your bottle reading all 3 gigabytes of your base pair genetic data in a fraction of a second"
  • See a graphic of a new Firefox extension
  • April edition of the UK magazine Scootering (for Vespa and Lambretta enthusiasts) includes an article about a guy who lives near a former Lambretta factory. If you ship him your scooter's tires, he'll fill them with "Genuine Innocenti Lambretta Air". (Hmm. Could be real?)
  • Astronomy Picture of the Day: Water Found on Mars
  • Encyclopedia Britannica announces a semi-hostile takeover of Wikipedia
  • From the Register: Apple founder Jobs joins IKEA
  • Also from the Register: Bush twins to join Air Force tech unit in Iraq
  • Slashdot joke: Stand outside and wave at 10 am to have your picture taken by the new Google satellite
  • Opera SoundWave: Opera announces new technology that will allow "users to communicate in real- time without the use of computers or mobile phones"
  • From Nature.com: Apollo bacteria spur lunar erosion
  • ThinkGeek announces new products including a desktop USB fondue set, and the SkyTag - Green Laser Aircraft Tracker
  • Creationists Win: Scientific American announces that it's giving up the Evolution vs. Creationism debate. The Creationists have won. (reported on SlashDot)
  • Bad April Fool: A Croatian news service announces that Croatia will be banned from participating in the World Cup Finals unless the country hands over fugitive general Ante Gotovina. The announcement sparks massive street protests. The news service then admits it was joking.
  • Bad April Fool: Man posts signs warning of mercury spill. Sets off hazmat scare, shutting down more than 10 businesses. Says it was an April Fool's prank.

April Fools Day

Posted on Fri Apr 01, 2005


At least the Herald has acknowledged that it's a joke though. It would be funny if they had reported it as actual news.
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Thu Mar 31, 2005  at  11:22 PM
I only have one question...

What the hell is a "barbecued snag" question
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Thu Mar 31, 2005  at  11:27 PM
Barbecued sausage. Common aussie pastime is cooking "snags" on the "barbie". Prawns are the other favourite to BBQ.
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Thu Mar 31, 2005  at  11:36 PM
A barbecued snag is a sausage cooked on a barbeque - either a grill or a flat sheet of metal over an open flame.

Our local radio station had quite an amusing gag. They said in the news that dophins had been washed up on the beach, starting with only a few, but by 8am there were about 20. They had passers-by and also experts talking about how sad this way and that the dolphins must be put back into the water. By 8.30am, some had been returned to the sea, but more people were urged to come down to the beach.

Many people did so, only to find 20 Eveready Dolphin torches lying on the sand...
Posted by KB  in  Australia  on  Thu Mar 31, 2005  at  11:40 PM
Gotta love exagerations.. but snags (or sangers) are really nice Sunday lunch.. Add a steak, veges, and potato salad and a bucket of prawns, and its great mate!

I like the dolphin story smile
Posted by General  in  Sydney - Australia  on  Thu Mar 31, 2005  at  11:44 PM

Snags = Smokies.

Ah, colloquialisms.
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Thu Mar 31, 2005  at  11:50 PM
Our radio station did that years ago. Sent everyone an hour out of the city to rescue non-existant dolphins. smile

Today's joke was pathetic. They pretended to blow up the computer in the studio so that they couldn't play any music. The DJs were heading out to their cars to get CDs and play them, so that the people of Perth were subjected to some tasteless 80's rubbish. As soon as their "fire alarm" went off, I knew it was a joke. I don't think our mob are allowed to do large-scale stuff. A couple of years ago, they said that the Govt had sold off Rottnest Is. to the Yankees for a naval base!
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Thu Mar 31, 2005  at  11:53 PM
The world may implode quite soon...


It seems that I have just passed Alex in posted comments. If everyone dies in a sudden flash, it wasn't me.
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Thu Mar 31, 2005  at  11:54 PM
I have an even bigger problem! I have no supervision at work. Here's me, trying to work, and everyone else has gone for the day.

Why implode, Rod? Why not explode? Or get sucked into an alternate reality where you created this site? hmmm
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  12:02 AM
Explode just seemed too common a word, and implode might confuse Texans, so I used it. (what do you mean, I'm pokin fun at you, Stephen?)

I like the alternate reality idea... Alex, there I would own you!! (and not in that stupid 'pwn3d' sense, people in my reality would be put to painful death for even THINKING like that.)

Of course, there I'd probably refuse the chance to edit, too.

And, Smerk, how do you know I DIDN'T create the site and just created Alex as a cover for my own idiocy? tongue wink
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  12:12 AM
Because you seem to be rather proud of your own idiocy to have created Alex as a cover, then register as a member under Rod without any editing rights! Unless that's just a decoy that you really are that idiotic to do something like that. wink
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  12:35 AM
Ya see, Alex is actually my neighbor's cat. Only the felines have the TRUE power!

And ya know, well... I got nothin. Comin up totally empty in the joke department.

Damn, you've forced me to admit that I really don't exist.

What would Master Yu say?
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:02 AM
See, you gotta think these things through before replying. LOL
I don't know what Master Yu would say. I know what Master Fu would say though!
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:16 AM
Theres a pretty good BMW advert in the Telegraph in the UK this morning, saying that because of EU regulation changes they've come up with a car without a steering wheel. It's pretty well done, and the supporting site is http://www.uninventthewheel.co.uk
Posted by Inphormed  in  UK  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:20 AM
Sorry, it's been two days since I read the Tai Chi site, and I'm currently rather intoxicated.


Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:23 AM
Ha! "Email your comments to Herr Huhr-Huhr" Someone's having a real good laugh there. But it's still an ad, trying to redirect you to the BMW site.
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:25 AM
The one in the paper is more in depth. The idea is that you steer with movement of your eyes. I like the comment "early versions were prone to sudden u-turns if the driver turned round to shout at the kids in the back"...
Posted by Inphormed  in  UK  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:30 AM
Google has an April Fool's Joke. They are producing a drink called Google Gulp.
Posted by Raleigh  in  Bothell, WA, USA  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:32 AM
Rod, what tai chi site is that?
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:35 AM
This one.
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:45 AM
Eeep! That's my academy! Fortunately, my photo is not on that page. I didn't even realise that the sneaky bugger who's updating that page is putting photos on.
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  01:53 AM
HA! Could be worse, you could look like me.

I LOVE the disclaimer for Google Gulp.

"From time to time, in order to improve Google Gulp's usefulness for our users, Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter embedded in the base of your Google Gulp bottle to the GulpPlex
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  02:00 AM
Check out http://urgo.org/aprilfools.html for a much more complete list of April Fools Day Jokes
Posted by Urgo  in  DC Metro  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  02:41 AM
Google have their usual excellent effort up... grin

Posted by Chris 'Crispy' Philpot  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  03:33 AM
I like this story for sports fans:
Posted by Conor  in  Ireland  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  05:21 AM
Hey! I just saw your comment about Texans. Don't forget that as a Texas I own a gun.


So there.
Posted by Charybdis  in  Hell  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  08:42 AM
as a Texas...

TEXAN dammit.

I need to shoot somethin'.

Posted by Charybdis  in  Hell  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  08:46 AM
Now here is where I should make a smartass comment about the average Texan's spelling ability, but I won't because I don't have a vest on.


Or is it the average Texas' spelling ability?


Just kidding. As if you couldn't tell... smile
Posted by Rod  in  the land of smarties.  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  09:58 AM
I read that Delaware is closed, today. They are apparently re-routing traffic thru Chadds Ford, Pa., and The Cape-May Lewis Ferry. No reason was given for the closing, or any info on the duration of the closing. I suspect it has something to do with a 1967 Plymouth Satellite, driven by a man headed South.
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  10:00 AM
Did you know that you can get a dog to smile by lifting his/her tail straight up in a 90 degree angle and holding it there for some moments? Try it...
Posted by Hairy Houdini  on  Fri Apr 01, 2005  at  10:05 AM
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