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Alien Bacteria on eBay
Here's the latest eBay oddity. It's 'Magic Air' that grows alien bacteria and makes your feet swell up:
This glass was left outside by one of my kids during a solar eclipse. When I retrieved it I noticed that it weighed over 10 pounds. I didn't notice any contents but tried pouring it out and spilled some of the "Magic Air" on my left foot. My shoe grew from a size 11 to a 17 DDD in less than 15 seconds. I ceased pouring any more of the Magic Air out and placed the Haunted Purple Glass in my cupboard.
It's already sold, but it sounds like he has a limitless supply of this 'Magic Air' for future auctions.
eBayExtraterrestrial Life
Posted by The Curator on Tue Dec 21, 2004

That auction was pretty funny... I don't know how anyone could take it seriously. My favorite part was the "letter from the president".

Still, isn't the auction fraudulant? I guess e-bay allows it. I can't imagine why someone's paying 575 dollars for this.
Posted by Reynard Muldrake  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  01:48 PM
What kind of guarantee comes with this merchandise?
Posted by Big Gary C  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  01:49 PM
People will buy anything. Wheather it's real or not.
Posted by Dany  in  Texas  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  02:15 PM
That guy is fucking daffy.
Posted by Craig  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  02:59 PM
Interesting. I didn't even know Daffy was gay.
Posted by rwt1138  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  03:27 PM
This should put the e-mail viagra guys out of business in a few days.
Posted by Tom  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  03:58 PM
That Magic Air so good it make may big toe pop up in my boot...and I'm not wearing any footwear.
Posted by Oscar  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  04:53 PM
There are a couple of women here at work I'd like to try this on.

Ouch! Hey! Quit throwing stuff at me.

Posted by Charybdis  in  Hell  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  05:33 PM
Seriously, who at Ebay could possibly think it's okay to let people spend money on this?
Posted by AqueousBoy  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  06:01 PM
Ebay are not responsible for people's bad decisions. Why do they let people spend hundreds of dollars on ugly dolls?
Posted by Katey  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  07:16 PM
WTF is all I have to say.

I bet eBay doesn't care as much anymore, since they're getting a cut and probably a lot of potential business.
Posted by Sarah  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  09:00 PM
Well women (and men too) could buy this 'magic air' and enlarge certain body parts. Look Ma, no surgery! wink
Posted by Myst  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  10:08 PM
I really like your hoax postings, but the eBay stupidities dilute your site, imo. Granted, they are plentiful and extremely dumb, but basic idiocy and small-scale fraud is much different than a real hoax.
Posted by cvirtue  in  deleted  on  Tue Dec 21, 2004  at  11:15 PM
As far as eBay is concerned, if you really do deliver exactly what you stated in the auction, i.e. "The winning bidder will be sent, third class mail, a #10 business envelope with some Magic Air inside as well as the Haunted Bacteria", with a disclaimer that the magical air might not have the same effects as for the seller, well hey. If someone wants to pay $500+ for an envelope full of air and possibly purple goo or whatever the alien bacteria thing is also...I guess it's their money.

But goood lord! How stupid can people be? The red bottle is supposedly the same 400ml bottle in both photos, yet what, the cap grows and shrinks magically too?
Posted by Ponygirl  on  Wed Dec 22, 2004  at  04:57 AM
Of course the cap has grown. Magic Air makes everything grow! The trouble is, I'd have to wonder if I was bidding on the Andromeda Strain or something.

Kind of a no-win situation for bidders, wouldn't you think? If it were actually real, you'd have bought potentially dangerous alien germs in a #10 envelope - hardly an acceptable way of shipping a potential biohazard. So you'd have a rather limited market of true believers who are willing to take really dumb risks. Perhaps the high bids had been placed by those mysterious mega-corporations and sinister military types that always show up in science fiction any time a potential alien bio-weapon is found. smile
Posted by Matt  on  Wed Dec 22, 2004  at  03:17 PM
10/10 for effort but minus a zillion for style
Posted by Nick  on  Wed Dec 22, 2004  at  04:31 PM
Sounds like an elephantasis (sp?) fluke to me. Only last time I checked, they weren't transmitted thru the air...
Posted by Laser Potato  on  Thu Dec 23, 2004  at  09:34 AM
Of course, the winning bidder almost always is fraudulent and has no intention of paying. Any yahoo or hotmail address will let you bid.
Posted by Evan  in  USA  on  Thu Dec 23, 2004  at  03:45 PM
Now, wait. Wouldn't this "Magic Air" cause the #10 envelope to GROW into a giant package? How is 50 cents going to cover the cost of mailing that? I see "return to sender" stamped all over that smile
Posted by Sarah  on  Fri Dec 24, 2004  at  02:48 AM
Wouldn't the air escape in an poreous (sp?) envelope?
Posted by Maegan  in  Tampa, FL - USA  on  Wed Dec 29, 2004  at  01:06 PM
This is just absolutely flippin' stupid. Sure, I believe in aliens, but not so much as to bid on anything that I don't have proof of yet. Now, if it was a meteorite, I would probably bid on it.
Posted by Mr. Starbucks  on  Sat Jan 01, 2005  at  01:09 AM
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