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Rasputin’s Penis: Hoax or Not?
image The Russian Museum of Erotica, newly opened in St. Petersburg, has been crowing about its acquisition of the penis of Rasputin (the mad mystic and lover of the wife of the Russian Tsar). A photo accompanying the many news reports about this unusual exhibit shows an attractive young woman staring rather in awe at the huge, grotesque thing as it floats in formaldehyde (there's another picture here). It definitely looks like a penis, but is it Rasputin's penis (which, according to legend, was 13 inches long)?

As it turns out, Rasputin's penis has had a rather colorful history since its separation from his body. Here are some of the highlights. In 1916 Rasputin and his penis parted ways due to the machinations of a murdering gang of angry nobles. But, according to rumor, a maid found the bodiless member at the crime scene and saved it. During the 1920s a group of Russian women living in Paris acquired it (or acquired something that they believed to be his penis) and worshipped it as a kind of holy relic, while keeping it inside a wooden casket. Rasputin's daughter, Marie, didn't like the idea of her Dad's penis hanging out with these women, so she demanded the thing back. And it presumably stayed with her until she died in California in 1977. It then disappeared for a while until it came into the possession of Michael Augustine, who found it tucked away in a velvet pouch along with some of Marie Rasputin's manuscripts that he bought at a lot sale. Augustine sold the well-travelled penis to Bonham's auction house who then discovered (surprise, surprise!) that what they had bought was not a penis, but instead a sea cucumber.

That's where events stood in 1994. Now, ten years later the Russian Museum of Erotica is claiming that they have Rasputin's penis. Igor Knyazkin, the director of the Museum, claims that he bought it from a French antiquarian for $8,000. Which just begs the question: where did this French antiquarian get the penis from? One might also wonder why the Museum's penis is preserved in fluid, whereas all early accounts of Rasputin's penis describe it as dried out.
Body ManipulationSex/Romance
Posted by The Curator on Thu Jun 24, 2004


Though as real as it may be, it's merely a legend that it would in fact be Rasputin's member, the autopsy report stated that his genitals were in tact.

It may however be someone's penis, who knows, there may have been some unlucky man with a penis that large, (good luck finding women that like such a larghe penis) that may or may not have had it removed after death.
Posted by PKN  in  Surabaya  on  Thu Aug 16, 2007  at  04:43 AM
If that were really Rasputin's dick, there WOULD be mention of it in literature. Not just after-the-fact speculation.
Posted by Ryan Thompson  on  Sun Aug 19, 2007  at  05:07 AM
I like your rhyme, .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

There was an autopsy of Rasputin, the results have been released, and this article on Hotspotz says that Yusupov didn't whack the Mad Monk off after all.

http://www.hotspotsz.com/Unravelling_the_truth_about_Rasputin_(news-clip-3052).html
Posted by Donald Dork  in  USA  on  Fri Jan 18, 2008  at  09:11 PM
I fucking told you so. Assholes
Posted by Ryan Thompson  on  Wed Feb 06, 2008  at  09:07 AM
all yall clowns!!
here are some facts, from some one who has butchered a horse and cut off its penis "for vetneary study purposes".

once a penis has been removed, it basicalll loses it's "pressure setting" not being connected to the artery system. Even a massive horse cock after bleeding out turns into ONE handfull of skin and tissue.. pretty much like deflating a balloon. so that thing has been tempered with i.e. enbalmed/filled/pressurised-stretched. no penis looks like that after being cut off. there would hardly be any volume! must say, some bloody idiots on this page i tell ya. most worthy comment is prob the geoduck!
Posted by Oliver  on  Fri Mar 14, 2008  at  06:30 AM
Oliver got it right.

Again, if you anybody still thinks this thing is real, you're a fucking idiot.
Posted by Ryan Thompson  on  Tue Apr 22, 2008  at  08:12 PM
Wikipedia reports that an autopsy of Rasputin stated his genitalia were intact.

I am not sure what this is. It could easily be answered with a tissue sample and an exam from a qualified doctor or veterinarian. If it were a legitimate museum it would run those tests, short of that you are a curious sucker for paying the price of admission. There is one born every minute, as PT Barnum said.

Rasputin was a well-known mesmerist/hypnotist, that was the source of his power over people.
Posted by wombat  on  Sat Jul 19, 2008  at  12:25 AM
I've been to the museum and it looks real to me. The fluid it's floating in would have been absorbed and it would have become somewhat it's normal size - even if it had once been dried out because of exposure. As for the size - 30 CM - it's large but there are several men who are larger. I think the biggest on record was something over 14". However a penis that size can cause all sorts of problems for a young boy when he enters puberty and doesn't have any idea that he's "different". When he gets erections in class and cannot stand for fear it will be peaking out the waistband of his trousers or pushing down his pant leg in a very obvious fashion, or worse yet having the other boys see him in the showers and getting constantly teased about his size - all of this creates some trauma for a young male. Usually his first sex partners will be frightened by the size unless they're very experienced. The trauma and almost being ashamed of it can last well into a boy's 20's when he finally figures out that it's as much blessing as curse (maybe more) and decides that the grief he took isn't worth letting it hurt any more. A male teacher or father figure who's also well endowed can be very helpful to a young guy in this situation - by simply telling him that he's not some freak and he's not only normal but a lot of the teasing and taunting he'll get is based more on jealousy than anything else. And if you're wondering if I speak from personal experience - the answer is yes at 31 centimeters and it was that size by the time I was 13 years old. I did have one English teacher who was as large and who took me aside and explained the reality of it to me. He also taught me things about human nature and how many men were and would be jealous and consider me a threat to them and/or their women. Having his counsel on this admittedly esoteric subject helped one hell of a lot and probably saved years of therapy later on! Oh I went into therapy, but not about that subject at least! <grin> I wouldn't trade this "blessing" now, but it would have been easier to be more "average" in size for a kid growing up in America in the 1960's.
Posted by Western Male  in  Arizona  on  Thu Nov 27, 2008  at  03:23 AM
There's also that whole problem of how Rasputin's dick was never severed. Ah shucks :p

And that thing is still a geo duck.

And Western, you're a shitty liar.
Posted by Ryan T.  on  Thu Nov 27, 2008  at  06:24 AM
you are all arguing about a penis
Posted by boob  on  Sun Dec 28, 2008  at  09:57 PM
Edvard Radzinsky in his treatise; 'The Rasputin File' (pp. 235 - Anchor ISBN: 0-385-48910-2) states quite categorically that Rasputin's publisher, Filippov 'embarked on an investigation of his own. He frequently went to bathhouses with Rasputin. "I had an opportunity to observe the physical peculiarities of his body...Nothing unusual, no enormous sexual organ of the sort...to be created by legend"'.
Posted by Ruan  on  Tue Jan 13, 2009  at  06:19 PM
I really need to get that back from those museum people...
Posted by Father G. Rasputin  in  Australia  on  Thu Feb 05, 2009  at  05:11 AM
Dear Father G. Rasputin

You are indeed severely handicapped! Regarding the 'museum people' - I know them to be an unforgiving lot who take better care of their members.

P.S. As I am sure you will understand; 'there is always a bigger fish'!
Posted by Ruan  on  Thu Feb 05, 2009  at  07:04 AM
P.P.S. How is the weather 'down under'? Terraforming...Scotland next?
Posted by Ruan  on  Mon Feb 09, 2009  at  03:36 AM
4-03-09 RAsputin/Penis

According to certain reports - Yusoupov and company were very highly freaked and furious about many 'sightings' of Rasputin AFTER they had murdered him so viciously. They felt so threatened by his hold on People they became irrational. Eventually their paranoia drove them to EXHUME HIS BODY-tie it to the back of a train - dragging it along tracks until it was obliterated. They cut off his penis in contempt as a note on their feelings toward him. They struggled hard to rewrite him into History as a discredited - mad fool - which he wasn't. It is typical of the bitchy nature of the narcissus-type that is Yusoupov. British rule came under that kind of lunatic-psyche under Tony-Miranda Blair and his best sidekick Yusoupov-Mandelson-the odd couple. Look where they led us all - past Bush and Iraq - then Tony-Miranda ran to ... Rome ... gulp I doubt if it is Rasputin's own penis - he was stereotyped with intention to contempt him - he deserved more credit. It is reported that he ACTUALLY was realistic and taught the queues of women how to pleasure themselves and NOT FEEL SHAME - on account of the russian nature of many 'husbands' who kept wives at home and had fun with mistresses- which left 'the wife' with many frustrations of a real physical nature. I can believe that - he was a radical thinker and doer. He was happily married with four good Children - and was a very Spiritual and passionate nature.
Posted by EveUK  in  London  on  Wed Mar 04, 2009  at  05:19 PM
Sorry, EveUK, exhumation/train thing never happened.
Posted by Ryan  in  Corvallis, Oregon  on  Thu Mar 05, 2009  at  12:39 AM
Read: 'Rasputin: The Man Behind the Myth, A Personal Memoir' by Maria Rasputin and Patte Barham Copyright 1977, (Prentice-Hall, Inc., ISBN 0-13-753129-X). Together with the Radzinsky treatise, in the aforementioned post, death is clearly postulated to be from drowning. However, this does not preclude the atrocities credited to Felix prior to the death of the Starets. Rasputin's own daughter, though not necessarily credible for this familial connection alone, categorically points out that Rasputin was raped before his murder. Certainly there is no mention in any known source of his 'exhumation' and 'obliteration' along a railway track. Cite your sources more carefully; conjecture has cost many a noble life to date - be it blue or red blood in the veins.
Posted by Ruan  on  Thu Mar 05, 2009  at  02:36 AM
Re: exhumation story - it was broadcast on BBC World Service a couple of years ago - that is where I heard it - like other listeners I assumed that BBC researchers would have checked their sources. It is still fascinating though that : for all Rasputin achieved - even walking 2000 miles to Greece to uncover real meanings of Biblical scripts etc. - it is curious that his penis became the main feature of things to be remembered about him .... EveUK
Posted by EveUK  in  London  on  Sat Mar 07, 2009  at  06:21 AM
8-03-09 Out of interest Ryan - what would you recommend as the best source of reliable information about Rasputin's final months? (noting that you know he definitely wasn't exhumed as stated on BBC) I'd be interested to know. Thanks. It came up on a programme BBC broadcast about what they felt was the general hysterical nature of Russian behaviour. I know they often make huge blunders and can misinform a lot.
Posted by EveUK  in  London  on  Sat Mar 07, 2009  at  07:21 PM
Snopes.com USED to have an article on it but it seems to either be gone now or the site's search engine is broken. Ugh
Posted by Ryan Thompson  in  Corvallis, Oregon  on  Mon Mar 09, 2009  at  05:12 AM
Dear EveUK

'The Rasputin File' (pp. 235 - Anchor ISBN: 0-385-48910-2) seems the best so far. British involvement in Rasputin's demise is far from clear and we will probably never know the whole truth. Mind you there is also an argument that in time everything will become clear. Perhaps the BBC could be encouraged to elucidate upon the origin and current ramifications of the term 'Dark Forces'?
Posted by Ruan  on  Fri Mar 13, 2009  at  01:59 AM
Of course Rasputin's autopsy would state that his genitals were intact. After his death the royal family had a secret burial on royal grounds. His body was then later exhumed and burned by a mob during the February Revolution of 1917. The mob apparantley decided to spare his genitals.

I don't believe that is really his penis. I just wanted to share that bit of information with you.
Posted by lana  in  australia  on  Sat Mar 14, 2009  at  04:35 AM
Thanks for details - it was my mistake to take BBC seriously - it has been impossible to get more info. from them - they just care for effect these days and are renowned for embroiderering details to suit the intentions of certains broadcasters. They don't archive all broadcasts either anymore - which is another irritation. However - I have let them know that they were wrong to twist that bit of fantasy into their intention at the time : which was to say : all russians are hysterical. They thrive on Mock the WEAK humour these days ... so, ikn their own terms - any misinformation isd acceptable (very Tony Blair ...) thanks again ... will get hold of Rasputin Files ...
Posted by EveUK  in  London  on  Sun Mar 15, 2009  at  09:11 AM
15-03-09 - apologies for couple of spelling oversights above : should be : in their own terms (1) and - any misinformation is acceptable (2) - my fingertips and computer keyboards don't like each other ... incompatible ...
Posted by EveUK  in  London  on  Sun Mar 15, 2009  at  09:16 AM
Eve - don't worry about your spelling mistakes on my account; I'm sure everything happens for a reason, even when it is not apparent at the time. Perspective and all that. Regarding the BBC, Tony Blair and the un-authorised organ donation on Rasputin's part - we have to remember the Holy man did walk into the illustrious court of his own free will...the peasant dream of entering the palace was perhaps a gross mis-calculation by all parties involved. However, peasants can be, even with the best intentions and/or otherwise, notoriously naiive. We also tend to romanticize history. For instance, who is to say Rasputin had not 'seen' future events and decided his brutal fate was a necessary cog in the machinery for the required outcome? Personally, I would have thought the dimensions of his body part hardly seem significant. His alleged usage thereof, might though?
Posted by Ruan  on  Thu Mar 19, 2009  at  07:41 PM
Thankyou Ruan - I agree in all you observe - I am certain that he did see ahead of his own time and undertook risks. I do admire him deeply and greatly - he walked 2000 miles to Greece to try and disentangle the bible issues - so, his intellect was enormous and it proved to me that income and intelligence are unrelated. Governments tend to impress otherwise these days - and look where the politicians all got us to now! I believe he did know his fate and went all the way - as many do - and many HAD to. Somehow - the oppressors DO paint sex and sexuality into situations - particularly when they hope to contempt and mock - it becomes a tool of attack. Base and crude though that is. So, the fact that he got as far as he did - as a peasant - is really VERY commendable - in terms of penetrating the systems of the day. The CHE of his day. He rattled a few cages - as they say! So, good on him for that. I don't believe he was promiscuous in terms of having only a sex-drive to satisfy - whether he sexed many women-I wouldn't like to say. His darker side (as deeper meaning) is yet to be properly understood. As a 'character' I love him very much - how 'big' he was as physical endowment - is of no interest to me - in all terms I understand he was a very BIG Man and Big enough for me .. if I may add that sauce. I feel he would have been a very great'Lover' on terms I could understand-if not the greatest... You will understand.
Posted by EveUK  in  London  on  Mon Mar 23, 2009  at  03:38 PM
Eve - it is noteworthy that you have such an interest in these matters. The 'darker side' is well enough understood by all involved and always was. Rasputin was able to manipulate and work with energy in all its guises. The idiots became jealous but were ultimately left awestruck when it became apparent that something altogether more sinister was taking place under their very noses. Rasputin permitted himself to be instrumental as a tool for entities that ministerial bodies could never comprehend. True, it required his own blood sacrifice and that of many others...but history was changed. The Universe remains a big, cold and very dark environment; however I am sure time will prove to be the key. Personally, I would have loved to have seen the faces of Rasputin's enemies when they realised the true horror of what was in store for them. Still, as the 'Holy Man' quietly wafted off down the river into another dimension perhaps he allowed his copious imagination to continue to run riot! Murder, Madness and Mayhem do seem to unsettle the zealous devotees of security. Even still...so I hear. Niven's Law seems to drive the best of the self-righteous twerps to distraction at all points in time.
Posted by Ruan  on  Sun Apr 05, 2009  at  10:14 AM
lolx
Posted by Rasputin  on  Sun May 10, 2009  at  11:59 PM
15-05-09
Ruan - do you suppose that Rasputin could have re-entered as a 'thought' for Bulgakov - as a new theme : Woland? A new disguise .... with pickled suprises ... I think so; it is a perfect match to your analysis ... neat ... Eve.
Posted by EveUK  in  London  on  Fri May 15, 2009  at  06:31 PM
Ruan - as an Urban Legend - since writing the above - I got proof that 'past' Souls can enter our own consciousness - the Big Man must have heard me...
in a Dream format I saw myself embroiled in many real difficulties when all of a sudden a group arrived on the scene - as a Bulgakov set - theatrical - including the Big Black Cat - to give me a huge bottle marked : CHRISTIAN DIOR Perfume - it had a message taped to it. The message told me to Google : Christian Dior perfume sign into SEARCH and find an answer... so, next morning - I did. I was somewhat shocked to find a real connection : in information from a book by a Japanese author - a novel about a man who dreamed a lot and every time something fatal was going to happen a bottle of CHRISTIAN DIOR PERFUME was shown as a symbol of onus..... I had never heard of this author or book before that search... so, who sent me that information? Is Rasputin reading these pages ......X files - truth ....Eve. LOL
Posted by EveUK  in  London  on  Sun Jul 12, 2009  at  05:13 PM
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