Rasputin’s Penis: Hoax or Not?

image The Russian Museum of Erotica, newly opened in St. Petersburg, has been crowing about its acquisition of the penis of Rasputin (the mad mystic and lover of the wife of the Russian Tsar). A photo accompanying the many news reports about this unusual exhibit shows an attractive young woman staring rather in awe at the huge, grotesque thing as it floats in formaldehyde (there's another picture here). It definitely looks like a penis, but is it Rasputin's penis (which, according to legend, was 13 inches long)?

As it turns out, Rasputin's penis has had a rather colorful history since its separation from his body. Here are some of the highlights. In 1916 Rasputin and his penis parted ways due to the machinations of a murdering gang of angry nobles. But, according to rumor, a maid found the bodiless member at the crime scene and saved it. During the 1920s a group of Russian women living in Paris acquired it (or acquired something that they believed to be his penis) and worshipped it as a kind of holy relic, while keeping it inside a wooden casket. Rasputin's daughter, Marie, didn't like the idea of her Dad's penis hanging out with these women, so she demanded the thing back. And it presumably stayed with her until she died in California in 1977. It then disappeared for a while until it came into the possession of Michael Augustine, who found it tucked away in a velvet pouch along with some of Marie Rasputin's manuscripts that he bought at a lot sale. Augustine sold the well-travelled penis to Bonham's auction house who then discovered (surprise, surprise!) that what they had bought was not a penis, but instead a sea cucumber.

That's where events stood in 1994. Now, ten years later the Russian Museum of Erotica is claiming that they have Rasputin's penis. Igor Knyazkin, the director of the Museum, claims that he bought it from a French antiquarian for $8,000. Which just begs the question: where did this French antiquarian get the penis from? One might also wonder why the Museum's penis is preserved in fluid, whereas all early accounts of Rasputin's penis describe it as dried out.

Body Manipulation Sex/Romance

Posted on Wed Jun 23, 2004


Thanks for posting this up here. I am a huge Russian history buff, so all my friends (while stifling giggles) ask me if I plan to go and see Rasputin's penis or if I heard about it yet. I personally didn't think it was real from the time I first heard the museum supposedly had it, but whatever. At least now I have a link to throw at people instead of sitting around explaining why I don't think it's real.
Posted by Goo  in  Dexter, Maine  on  Fri Jun 25, 2004  at  10:39 PM
I thought penises sans any kind of fluid plus pressure system were very small. There are no bones; just skin and i suppose a little muscle.

It looks very unlikely.
Posted by David Tiley  on  Mon Jun 28, 2004  at  01:55 AM
My first thought on seeing this "pickled penis" (couldn't resist) was that it reminded me of a geoduck (pronounced gooey-duck) clam. Here are a couple of links to some pictures of goeducks:
http://www.columbian.com/outerlimits/geoduck.html and


If it is a hoax, maybe it's a "pickled goeduck".

Posted by Myst  on  Tue Jun 29, 2004  at  03:55 PM
Many reasons I think it's fake:

-The fist picture I saw of Rasputin's penis a few years ago din't look at all like this.
-If a french had this penis he would have sold it at the erotic museum in Paris. Why did he wait to sell it in Russia?
-When the murderer of Rasputin cut it off they certainly didn't spent half an hour carving out testicles and other guts visible on the photo. They would cut just the "main" part.
Posted by Fredledingue  on  Wed Jun 30, 2004  at  04:14 PM
Those pictures of geoducks are amazing (and scary!). I'm ready to change my vote: that thing in the jar ain't human, and it ain't a sea cucumber, it's a big clam!

(If I just had the phone number of that model in the "Museum of Erotica" photo, I'd be happy to give her all the details ...)
Posted by Big Gary  in  Dallas, Texas  on  Wed Jun 30, 2004  at  10:57 PM
whether it's real or not, no wonder women likes him(rasputin) very much.... Wuz 30cm long??? Mine's 35cm.... don't believe? Just try me.... Ladies only, ok???
Posted by mattdiego@mikepyan  in  Malaisie  on  Sun Jul 25, 2004  at  09:16 AM
No way it's Rasputin's cuz Yusupov would have cut it of'below' the "base'
Posted by Randifilus  on  Fri Sep 17, 2004  at  02:43 PM
Do you know that exists a mushroom called Phallus impudicus?

If it is a hoax, maybe it is a pickled mushroom!
Posted by John  on  Sun Sep 19, 2004  at  08:39 PM
Sure looks like a geoduck clam to me! Also, I agree that a person murdering Rasputin probably wouldn't have taken care to surgically remove all the gonads. More than likely, he'd just hack the member off at its base.
Posted by Michelle  in  Akron, Ohio  on  Wed Mar 02, 2005  at  02:10 PM
I hate to have to spoil the fantasy of the ladies, but any zoologist can tell you that it is definitely an ANIMAL penis.
Posted by THE DEBUNKER  in  Philadelphia  on  Tue Jul 26, 2005  at  09:11 PM
::in response to THE DEBUNKER::

Well, Rasputin WAS somewhat of an animal, was he not?
Posted by Jenny  in  Illinois  on  Mon Sep 05, 2005  at  06:04 PM
Is it real?? bhave you read thereal lif accounts of women who were literally torn apart by this man in episodes of sexual frenzy? this monster DONG has changed history. All bow down to the great wang of rasputin!!!!!
Posted by Ben  in  australia  on  Tue Sep 06, 2005  at  07:43 PM
according to the story it would have stayed in a woden casket for some number of years - without any preservation fluid or alcohol. WOuldn't it have decomposed? How can it be real?
Posted by Bindhu  on  Sat Sep 10, 2005  at  06:26 AM
Posted by THE DEBUNKER  in  SomewhereOver the Rainbow  on  Mon Dec 19, 2005  at  07:21 PM
One day, I will buy that penis. Then I will have it surgically attached and all women will tremble in my presence.
Posted by Ross Patton  on  Tue Feb 14, 2006  at  11:58 PM
Yeah, in fear of having to touch such a manky old thing.
Posted by Smerk  in  to mischief  on  Wed Feb 15, 2006  at  12:13 AM
First of all, the notion that it is a goeduck clam is patently absurd. While it may be difficult to see in the above picture, a larger photo will reveal a well developed head - completely in contrast to the tapered head of the goeduck. (However, thanks to whoever linked to the goeduck because, although a foolish hypothesis, it was an utterly hilarious image.)

Secondly, the claim that anyone who removed his Johnson would have merely cut it off at the base, ignoring his stupendous gonads, is clearly unjustified. Why, when one swift motion of a knife would be enough to glean the scepter AND the jewels, would one only remove the scepter?

Finally, while it is dubious that the member would have survived in a wooden case for an extended period of time, that wooden case story is mere legend anyway. Most likely, this is a false legend since, if you follow the thread of the story all the way through, it leads to a sea cucumber on Bonham's auciton house!

Now, I am not saying that it definitely is Rasputin's penis. The point of this post is simply to point out that no intelligent person could mistake it for anything but a real penis, and there is also no reason to believe that it is NOT Rasputin's.
Posted by Aristesticles  in  California  on  Sat Apr 22, 2006  at  11:02 AM
Oh Please!!! Give me a fricken break! You don't have to be a zoologist to tell that is an ANIMAL penis. It is NOT HUMAN. I repeat:not human. Most likely the genital of a horse or bovine.
Posted by Steve Vitale  in  Lindenwold, NJ  on  Sun Apr 23, 2006  at  03:15 PM
Not human? Genital of a horse or bovine? Goeduck clam? No, no, and no. It's painfully clear that the penis has a foreskin, which neither horses nor bovines have. If it were a horse-cock it'd have a visible joint-ridge in the middle, which this one obviously does not. Also, like said, it's painfully clear that there's a foreskin--not even mentioning the human testes and other reproductive system paraphernalia present.

Animal penises and invertebrates.. What a bunch of dumb-asses.
Posted by random  on  Sat Aug 26, 2006  at  12:42 AM
Holy cow!
If only Felix Yusupov knew what was hiding in Rasputin's pants,he would have delayed the killing,dressed in drag as he often did and get a bucket of " duck fat ".
Posted by Patrick  on  Thu Aug 31, 2006  at  09:01 PM
WHATEVER it is.. those museum people are weird. and besides, wouldn't it decompose by now? yes. the body starts decomposing right away when it dies, plus he was in water, i'm not sure if it's slower or faster that way.
Posted by anonymous  on  Mon Sep 11, 2006  at  02:31 PM
now YOU are truly stupid!
Posted by ll  in  ll  on  Sun Nov 12, 2006  at  09:23 AM
Can anyone tell me the origin of the word "geoduck"?
Posted by Shelley  in  NS Canada  on  Fri Dec 08, 2006  at  11:09 PM
Hey random: Almost all mammmals have foreskins. Look it up.

So what's in the jar?

Probably not.


Very likely.

Of course they didn't just shuck a clam and throw the contents in the jar with some formaldehyde. They had to have doctored it up with a little surgery first to make it look "authentic." Give it a foreskin and testes and all that. Barnum & Bailey did it all the time, they would take the time to sew a monkey head to a fish body before calling it a mermaid.

If the public could have been fooled by a sea cucumber for several years, well, LOLZ

Posted by random is a dipshit  on  Fri Feb 09, 2007  at  03:19 PM
Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine!!

Ooooh,those Russians...
Posted by Tom Tom  on  Fri Feb 09, 2007  at  04:07 PM
Its a sea cucumber. This has been documented on numerous websites. So sorry, there's no question.
Posted by Ryan  in  Oregon  on  Mon Feb 12, 2007  at  11:26 PM
That schlong's Rasputin
Don't you be disputin'!
Takes some long hard rootin'*
To start the Russky's Revolutin'

etc etc...

* "Root" is Aussie slang for sexual intercourse.
Posted by E@L  in  Singapore  on  Thu May 17, 2007  at  03:56 AM
There are Human Penises that look large enough to be horse or mule penis. There's a photo of one named Elmo, on the Human Penis Museum website, at http://www.HumanPenis.info ( or try http://www.HumanPenis.org )

This guy's live penis is soft, and he's laid it out alive on a slice of bread. You know what it must grow to when erect. Cross your legs tight or RUN!
Posted by Chris Davis  in  California  on  Mon Aug 06, 2007  at  10:43 AM
Just the obvious but overlooked fact that it would be DUST by now is disproof enough. It's not like its a piece of metal or something. It's dead tissue
Dead tissue rots quickly if not preserved. It wasn't in formaldehyde until 3 yrs ago. Hello people! Let's put our thinking caps on. Has anybody heard of a corpse staying intact for 80 years with no preservatives whatsoever? No, you haven't. Come on people, common sense.
Posted by El Diablo  on  Sun Aug 12, 2007  at  10:49 AM
This just in... yep, its still a sea cucumber.
Posted by Ryan Thompson  on  Mon Aug 13, 2007  at  06:29 AM
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