Unfortunate Last Names

I've always thought my last name was pretty bad. And I mean that in the literal sense. 'Boese' means 'bad' (or angry) in German. But its meaning wouldn't matter much if only English-speaking people could pronounce it (it's 'burr-za', as if it had an 'r' in it... not 'boose'). But I shouldn't feel too sorry for myself, because this guy in Brazil, Mr. Reinhardt Adolfo Fuck, has me beat hands down. As far as I can tell, that really is his name. He must get endless jokes about it.

Identity/Imposters

Posted on Thu May 20, 2004



Comments

I knew a surgeon by the name of "Doctor Slaughter".
Posted by D. Abbott  on  Mon Oct 22, 2007  at  10:24 AM
I must add to Mr. Gorman's note.. There was indeed a Speedy Nutz. (Chula Vista is my hometown.) He had a brother named Fuzzy Nutz, also a dentist. They were members of a businessman's association in CV. Members were always glad if one of them spoke at meetings because somtbody would have to introduce them.

In mid-50's, there were two identical twins at Chula Vista High school. Their last name was DITTO.
Posted by spade40  on  Wed Oct 24, 2007  at  06:15 PM
Have to add a story originally published in Sport Illustrated a few years ago regarding the basketball team at Austin Peay University in Tennessee. (Peay is pronounced like "pea".) During basketball games, their fans' cheer was "Let's Go, Peay!". There was a very good basketball player there named Fly Williams. The Cheer became "Fly is Open. Let's Go, Peay!"
Posted by spade40  on  Wed Oct 24, 2007  at  06:23 PM
Interesting note:
Comedian/Actor Tim Allen: Allen was originally his middle name. He changed it when he started his stand-up career because he was warned that people would think he was just trying for cheap laughs with his real last name: Dick.

Also, in middle school one of my classmates' names was Ryne Rindflesh.
Evil parents, I tell you. I'm sure they thought they were very clever...
Posted by ayemossum  on  Tue Nov 06, 2007  at  05:56 PM
well, after reading all of these names, it turns out that my name can be misconstrude by a dirty mind.

Mandy Fisher (Man dee fissure)..... Cool!!
😊
Posted by Mandy Fishe  on  Tue Nov 06, 2007  at  06:46 PM
well, there was the OBGYN in Northmamton MA, Dr. Finger.

in HS my freshman year year homeroom teacher was Andrea Dakin, she was not married (Excuse me, but you must be Ms.Dakin) [hint: it's a long "a"]
Posted by douglas  on  Wed Nov 07, 2007  at  12:34 PM
my ex's last name is boner. need i say more?
Posted by Lorne  on  Wed Nov 07, 2007  at  12:40 PM
A cardiologist is Groton, Ma is named Dr Hack
Posted by Donnie  on  Wed Nov 07, 2007  at  06:52 PM
My mother claims to have known of someone named Richard Harden. I know a professor who told me about another professor named Dick Dick. Also, I used to go to school with a guy named Richie Rich (though he prefers Rich Rich now)
Posted by Emily  on  Thu Nov 08, 2007  at  05:46 PM
My elementary school principle's name was Jack Offman. Of course, I didn't understand the significance at the time, but when I got older...
Posted by Rubes  on  Thu Nov 08, 2007  at  07:48 PM
My high school chemistry teacher's last name was Heurtin (pronounced "Hurtin'"). He had two army buddys whose last names were Ill and Payne. This was in Lake Charles, LA

Also a frequent customer at the store I worked at in high school was named Human Clump. I'm not sure if it was spelled with a C or K. It was apparently a typo on his birth certificate, but in 70 years he never changed it.
Posted by TH  on  Sun Nov 11, 2007  at  03:46 AM
there is an anesthesiologist in my home town named dr goodnight. i also deliver mail to a dr. johnson wang.
Posted by karen  on  Sun Nov 11, 2007  at  05:41 PM
i deliver mail so we see all sorts of "fancy" names. Anita B pleasant, anita hug,wai wong, harry s dong,mr. ho ho. the last resident that i deliver mail to on my routes name is mr. farewell.
Posted by karen  on  Sun Nov 11, 2007  at  05:49 PM
This is not surname, but still pretty bad. In Perth, Western Australia, there is a bay called Cockburn Sound. The local residents pronounce it as "Co-burn Sound". I pronounce it as "(loud painful scream)".
Posted by Lokop252  on  Sun Nov 11, 2007  at  09:45 PM
Here on Orkney, 'Twatt' is an incredibly common name.

There's also a road called Twatt.

I remember the local paper running a caption competition, featuring someone standing with the Twatt sign pointing directly at them.

I was bullied mercilessly by a guy in my class called Keith Twatt, leading to many exchanges such as :

Keith - hurrr hurr , you suck.
Me - shut up Keith, you're such a twatt !

😉 and after all, he could hardly deny it !
Posted by Rosslyn  on  Mon Nov 12, 2007  at  08:38 AM
I met an Asian Guy years ago in jail...seems he is always in trouble with the cops-- They ask his name, and he tells them "Phuc Ewe"
His dad was met his mom in the Viet Nam war...his last name was Ewe...and he obviously had a sense of humor!!
Posted by Jim  on  Thu Nov 15, 2007  at  07:55 AM
I went to high school with Marc Bader (long "a"). We called him Master Bader.

The manager of an apartment building I once lived in was K. LUTZ.
Posted by Jean-Philipe  on  Mon Nov 19, 2007  at  02:42 AM
strange but true.... the local conductor of the Johannesburg Symphony Orchestra is one Mr. Dick Cock.
Posted by Baffersty  on  Mon Dec 03, 2007  at  06:01 AM
I dealt with a guy from another office whose name is Richard Payne, and yes he did go by Dick. I would have a call transfered to me that would say "Dick Payne, Line 1" I would just say "No Thanks!"
Posted by Ed  on  Fri Dec 07, 2007  at  01:35 PM
Worked with a guy years ago as a welding inspector--- his name was Dick Head--- not Richard--- Dick.
Posted by Dale  on  Wed Dec 12, 2007  at  09:20 AM
I was a pilot for several years at an airline with another pilot, Larry Conquest. I always wonder how people felt about flying around with, "Captain Conquest." I sorta imagine he could only be rendered less credulous by showing up for work wear super-hero tights.

😊
Posted by Mark  on  Thu Jan 03, 2008  at  12:22 AM
hen i was at school there was, and for some reason to this day people still dont believe me when i tell them this, a lad called Mark Hunt.
there was also someone called Alan Hookem, whose dad was called Alf Hookem.
Posted by frazer  on  Mon Feb 04, 2008  at  04:51 AM
my last name has the initials P.B., which ironicaly I am allergic to peanuts and peanut butter and all products with peanuts. Still, it is better then having the initials P.B.J.
Posted by exmortisfangirl  on  Sat Feb 09, 2008  at  10:24 AM
I remember reading an article in wired written by this guy named Charles C.man. Which I found funny that no one actually noticed and sent comments to wired about this guys name. He was writing about Splogs and how his book was mentioned on one.
Posted by exmortisfangirl  on  Sat Feb 09, 2008  at  10:29 AM
My last name is Boese and we pronounce it "Bays". I have said all my life that it's being pronounced incorrectly, but no one wants to believe me. Oh, well. I'll marry soon and be able to change my name anyways.
Posted by M. Boese  on  Fri Feb 15, 2008  at  11:49 AM
Seymore pussy
Posted by Matthew  on  Fri Feb 22, 2008  at  06:45 AM
My last name is Doolittle so i get a lot of Dr. Dolittle jokes (even though i spell mine differently than the movie). Also, my friends mom knows a woman who's last name is Butts. She named her kids Harry and Mary.
Posted by Katie  on  Sat Apr 26, 2008  at  10:37 AM
My father was indeed named Speedy Nutz. His name was intended to be Robert but his delivery at birth came quickly, hence the name Speedy. He and his brother Jim were both dentists in the San Diego area but there is no truth to the rumor that there was another brother in the family named Fuzzy.
Posted by James Nutz  on  Thu May 01, 2008  at  01:13 PM
I had a teacher at school, Mr Slaughter. At another school, Mr. Butcher.
But the "best" name i enountered was when I was part of the team maintaining the electoral record at my local council - Dick Whacker. Again, wouldn't he use Richard?
I have also heard, although this may be just a story, of parents who cursed their son with the name of Hugh G. Rection.
Posted by Dale Irwin  on  Thu May 29, 2008  at  10:18 PM
That Dr. Speedy Nutz from Chula Vista is my grandfather. I was named after him. My name is in fact Speedy Nutz.
Posted by Speedy Nutz  on  Mon Jun 09, 2008  at  01:26 PM
I knew a girl in middle school whos last name was pronounced Beg-a-vitch. but the teachers would never write it for some reason.
Posted by Jeff  on  Wed Jul 02, 2008  at  06:44 PM
There were football players in the world cup with the names of...
Bossio, Neto, De Harder, Grip, Wolff, Rough, Pardon, Angel, Van Heel, Popov (pop off), Robotti, Perfumo, Titchy, Jelinek (indeed), Chumpitaz, Bats, Springett, Boy, Junior, Costly, Oh, Rats and Gu Sang Bum.
Posted by A. Nonymous  on  Thu Jul 10, 2008  at  12:10 PM
I had a middle school teacher named Harry "Burger", I don't remember the proper spelling of his last name, but it was basically hairy burger.
Posted by Jeff  on  Wed Aug 13, 2008  at  02:47 PM
double phallic name: i used to work with a guy,whos name was peter johnson.

and mr. & mrs.pig named their baby daughter,iona
Posted by whiterabbit  on  Wed Oct 01, 2008  at  12:57 PM
As for aptonyms, where I used to work, the IT manager was named Matt Hacker. My former boss had two managers named Mr. Spring and Mr. Poole when she was a secretary at the water department.
Posted by Spartacus  on  Thu Oct 02, 2008  at  03:22 AM
We have dicussed the name Aaron Scott (S......) last name- which would make the child's initials A.S.S. -

While this has a small chance of provoking teasing during childhood, we both agree that it would be FUNNY to be able to initial things ASS.

When the teacher has students grade one anothers' papers - "pass your paper to your neighbor on the right, and put your initials on the paper you are grading' -- ASS.

When signing a mortgage (many initial spots) ASS ASS ASS ASS. Or a tax return ASS.

We will probably actually do this. We both feel that if it was our initials spelling ASS - we would make it benefit us and have a sense of humor about it.
Posted by gwebel  on  Sat Oct 18, 2008  at  11:07 PM
A neighbor's daughter went to high school with a girl named Asshole` (Pronounced Ash-olay). [What kind of people do that to their own kids?]
Posted by Bruce  on  Sat Oct 25, 2008  at  09:50 AM
OK, here's mine:

I knew a girl who's stepfather's name was Dick Swift.

I had 2 music teachers, Mr. Horne and Mr. Piccolo.

We had a math teacher named Ophelia Dick (TRUE!)

I knew a cardiac surgeon named Dr. Bloodwell.

I knew a PA named M. Butkus.

And, my last name (growing up in NY) was FUCHS (pronounced fewks).
Posted by Lori  on  Tue Oct 28, 2008  at  12:39 PM
There was a boy in my 3rd grade class named Brent Sweeney.
I guess it was a lot more funny when I was 8.

And there was a couple that I graduated with.. Their names are Kristin Koch (coke) and Matt Bonar (bonner). Haha. I would have never even bothered if I were them.

And then there's my grandmother's name.. Marilyn Carolan.
Most of us Carolan's pronounce it "Care-oh-lin" but my grandma refuses to say anything but "Car-lin". I guess I don't blame her. [:
Posted by Jourdan Carolan  on  Wed Dec 10, 2008  at  11:17 PM
I know a couple of gotta laugh at people... Sandy Muff out of Vernon BC, Anita Dick out of Manitoba, Spider Mann- my future sons name haha, Justin Uras of Calgary, Unis Aichelle another future child name of family, Collen Gay from Calgary, Jack Horse- reason for this one comes from the saying--- If jack helped you of the horse would you help jack off the horse?, Ken Moore I don't know where you live!, Richard Begone, and Yu Mi Wee Fite who was in a newspaper article.
Posted by Brad  on  Sun Jan 25, 2009  at  09:00 AM
I've always liked the names:
Mike Oxmall and Mya solebernz.

Mike Million 2-18-2009
Posted by Mike Million  on  Wed Feb 18, 2009  at  03:28 PM
When I was in grade 8, I had a science teacher named Ms. Knott
To which everyone on the p.a. would pronounce MISS SNOT
Posted by Nicky B  on  Sat Feb 21, 2009  at  02:04 PM
While singing in choir, I've come across a composer named "Richard deLongis."

I'm (somewhat) proud to say that I was the one in the choir who noticed this.
Posted by Alex  on  Thu Feb 26, 2009  at  12:15 AM
I used to do business with a guy named Dick Blewitt. I think he used Dick instead of Richard just to watch people squirm when he said his name.
I also know not one, but two people named Larry Lawrence! Finally, I grew up with a Brian O'Brien.
Posted by Lee  on  Tue Mar 24, 2009  at  06:24 PM
;-P these r all hilarious
Posted by piper  on  Tue Apr 21, 2009  at  09:16 AM
I remember a Harry Dong running for ILWU president a few years ago.
Posted by James Eduard  on  Mon May 18, 2009  at  05:42 PM
I hate even doing this because she is a friend...but she got married and goes by the name Ball-Savage. Also...her Dr's name is Dr.Finger.

One of my favorite is my dads Dr. Dr.Balldoc
Posted by Mike  on  Thu Jun 04, 2009  at  06:17 PM
It is a pity that the guy has such a name.Just like it.
Posted by Jess Holroyd  on  Sun Jul 12, 2009  at  09:18 PM
My middle school teacher was named Mr. Weed. Unfortunately his first name was Richard.
Posted by Heh  on  Tue Aug 11, 2009  at  02:19 AM
In Kindgergarden there was a boy named Dick Hunt. He was a junior and when I was married my husband worked for his father Dick Hunt, Sr. The wife would refer to them as "little Dick" and
"big Dick" and the two respond to their names. Who would name their son that?
Posted by Imagine That  on  Mon Sep 14, 2009  at  05:43 PM
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