Unfortunate Last Names

I've always thought my last name was pretty bad. And I mean that in the literal sense. 'Boese' means 'bad' (or angry) in German. But its meaning wouldn't matter much if only English-speaking people could pronounce it (it's 'burr-za', as if it had an 'r' in it... not 'boose'). But I shouldn't feel too sorry for myself, because this guy in Brazil, Mr. Reinhardt Adolfo Fuck, has me beat hands down. As far as I can tell, that really is his name. He must get endless jokes about it.


Posted on Thu May 20, 2004


I knew a surgeon by the name of "Doctor Slaughter".
Posted by D. Abbott  in  Maryland  on  Mon Oct 22, 2007  at  10:24 AM
I must add to Mr. Gorman's note.. There was indeed a Speedy Nutz. (Chula Vista is my hometown.) He had a brother named Fuzzy Nutz, also a dentist. They were members of a businessman's association in CV. Members were always glad if one of them spoke at meetings because somtbody would have to introduce them.

In mid-50's, there were two identical twins at Chula Vista High school. Their last name was DITTO.
Posted by spade40  on  Wed Oct 24, 2007  at  06:15 PM
Have to add a story originally published in Sport Illustrated a few years ago regarding the basketball team at Austin Peay University in Tennessee. (Peay is pronounced like "pea".) During basketball games, their fans' cheer was "Let's Go, Peay!". There was a very good basketball player there named Fly Williams. The Cheer became "Fly is Open. Let's Go, Peay!"
Posted by spade40  on  Wed Oct 24, 2007  at  06:23 PM
Interesting note:
Comedian/Actor Tim Allen: Allen was originally his middle name. He changed it when he started his stand-up career because he was warned that people would think he was just trying for cheap laughs with his real last name: Dick.

Also, in middle school one of my classmates' names was Ryne Rindflesh.
Evil parents, I tell you. I'm sure they thought they were very clever...
Posted by ayemossum  in  Redlands, CA  on  Tue Nov 06, 2007  at  05:56 PM
well, after reading all of these names, it turns out that my name can be misconstrude by a dirty mind.

Mandy Fisher (Man dee fissure)..... Cool!!
Posted by Mandy Fishe  in  Australia  on  Tue Nov 06, 2007  at  06:46 PM
well, there was the OBGYN in Northmamton MA, Dr. Finger.

in HS my freshman year year homeroom teacher was Andrea Dakin, she was not married (Excuse me, but you must be Ms.Dakin) [hint: it's a long "a"]
Posted by douglas  in  middle america  on  Wed Nov 07, 2007  at  12:34 PM
my ex's last name is boner. need i say more?
Posted by Lorne  in  Seattle  on  Wed Nov 07, 2007  at  12:40 PM
A cardiologist is Groton, Ma is named Dr Hack
Posted by Donnie  in  Massachusetts  on  Wed Nov 07, 2007  at  06:52 PM
My mother claims to have known of someone named Richard Harden. I know a professor who told me about another professor named Dick Dick. Also, I used to go to school with a guy named Richie Rich (though he prefers Rich Rich now)
Posted by Emily  in  Michigan  on  Thu Nov 08, 2007  at  05:46 PM
My elementary school principle's name was Jack Offman. Of course, I didn't understand the significance at the time, but when I got older...
Posted by Rubes  in  Canada  on  Thu Nov 08, 2007  at  07:48 PM
My high school chemistry teacher's last name was Heurtin (pronounced "Hurtin'"). He had two army buddys whose last names were Ill and Payne. This was in Lake Charles, LA

Also a frequent customer at the store I worked at in high school was named Human Clump. I'm not sure if it was spelled with a C or K. It was apparently a typo on his birth certificate, but in 70 years he never changed it.
Posted by TH  in  Texas  on  Sun Nov 11, 2007  at  03:46 AM
there is an anesthesiologist in my home town named dr goodnight. i also deliver mail to a dr. johnson wang.
Posted by karen  in  california  on  Sun Nov 11, 2007  at  05:41 PM
i deliver mail so we see all sorts of "fancy" names. Anita B pleasant, anita hug,wai wong, harry s dong,mr. ho ho. the last resident that i deliver mail to on my routes name is mr. farewell.
Posted by karen  in  california  on  Sun Nov 11, 2007  at  05:49 PM
This is not surname, but still pretty bad. In Perth, Western Australia, there is a bay called Cockburn Sound. The local residents pronounce it as "Co-burn Sound". I pronounce it as "(loud painful scream)".
Posted by Lokop252  in  Australia  on  Sun Nov 11, 2007  at  09:45 PM
Here on Orkney, 'Twatt' is an incredibly common name.

There's also a road called Twatt.

I remember the local paper running a caption competition, featuring someone standing with the Twatt sign pointing directly at them.

I was bullied mercilessly by a guy in my class called Keith Twatt, leading to many exchanges such as :

Keith - hurrr hurr , you suck.
Me - shut up Keith, you're such a twatt !

wink and after all, he could hardly deny it !
Posted by Rosslyn  in  Orkney  on  Mon Nov 12, 2007  at  08:38 AM
I met an Asian Guy years ago in jail...seems he is always in trouble with the cops-- They ask his name, and he tells them "Phuc Ewe"
His dad was met his mom in the Viet Nam war...his last name was Ewe...and he obviously had a sense of humor!!
Posted by Jim  in  So Cal  on  Thu Nov 15, 2007  at  07:55 AM
I went to high school with Marc Bader (long "a"). We called him Master Bader.

The manager of an apartment building I once lived in was K. LUTZ.
Posted by Jean-Philipe  in  India  on  Mon Nov 19, 2007  at  02:42 AM
strange but true.... the local conductor of the Johannesburg Symphony Orchestra is one Mr. Dick Cock.
Posted by Baffersty  in  Johannesburg  on  Mon Dec 03, 2007  at  06:01 AM
I dealt with a guy from another office whose name is Richard Payne, and yes he did go by Dick. I would have a call transfered to me that would say "Dick Payne, Line 1" I would just say "No Thanks!"
Posted by Ed  on  Fri Dec 07, 2007  at  01:35 PM
Worked with a guy years ago as a welding inspector--- his name was Dick Head--- not Richard--- Dick.
Posted by Dale  in  santa barbara  on  Wed Dec 12, 2007  at  09:20 AM
I was a pilot for several years at an airline with another pilot, Larry Conquest. I always wonder how people felt about flying around with, "Captain Conquest." I sorta imagine he could only be rendered less credulous by showing up for work wear super-hero tights.

Posted by Mark  in  San Francisco  on  Thu Jan 03, 2008  at  12:22 AM
hen i was at school there was, and for some reason to this day people still dont believe me when i tell them this, a lad called Mark Hunt.
there was also someone called Alan Hookem, whose dad was called Alf Hookem.
Posted by frazer  in  england  on  Mon Feb 04, 2008  at  04:51 AM
my last name has the initials P.B., which ironicaly I am allergic to peanuts and peanut butter and all products with peanuts. Still, it is better then having the initials P.B.J.
Posted by exmortisfangirl  on  Sat Feb 09, 2008  at  10:24 AM
I remember reading an article in wired written by this guy named Charles C.man. Which I found funny that no one actually noticed and sent comments to wired about this guys name. He was writing about Splogs and how his book was mentioned on one.
Posted by exmortisfangirl  on  Sat Feb 09, 2008  at  10:29 AM
My last name is Boese and we pronounce it "Bays". I have said all my life that it's being pronounced incorrectly, but no one wants to believe me. Oh, well. I'll marry soon and be able to change my name anyways.
Posted by M. Boese  in  Tucson, AZ  on  Fri Feb 15, 2008  at  11:49 AM
Seymore pussy
Posted by Matthew  in  Rhyl  on  Fri Feb 22, 2008  at  06:45 AM
My last name is Doolittle so i get a lot of Dr. Dolittle jokes (even though i spell mine differently than the movie). Also, my friends mom knows a woman who's last name is Butts. She named her kids Harry and Mary.
Posted by Katie  in  MI  on  Sat Apr 26, 2008  at  10:37 AM
My father was indeed named Speedy Nutz. His name was intended to be Robert but his delivery at birth came quickly, hence the name Speedy. He and his brother Jim were both dentists in the San Diego area but there is no truth to the rumor that there was another brother in the family named Fuzzy.
Posted by James Nutz  on  Thu May 01, 2008  at  01:13 PM
I had a teacher at school, Mr Slaughter. At another school, Mr. Butcher.
But the "best" name i enountered was when I was part of the team maintaining the electoral record at my local council - Dick Whacker. Again, wouldn't he use Richard?
I have also heard, although this may be just a story, of parents who cursed their son with the name of Hugh G. Rection.
Posted by Dale Irwin  in  Waiheke Island, New Zealand  on  Thu May 29, 2008  at  10:18 PM
That Dr. Speedy Nutz from Chula Vista is my grandfather. I was named after him. My name is in fact Speedy Nutz.
Posted by Speedy Nutz  on  Mon Jun 09, 2008  at  01:26 PM
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