Hoax Museum Blog: Websites

Jydsk Atomic Power — image Here's a hoax website from Denmark. It's Jydsk Atomic Power (in bad English via automatic translation here). I discovered the site through an article in a Danish newspaper (bad translation) that mentioned it, and also linked to my site. My Danish is a little rusty (nonexistent actually), but from what I can make out Jydsk Atomic Power claims to be overclocking their atomic reactor, thereby producing electricity with twice as much power. All electric devices drawing this double-strength power work twice as well. You'll be able to boil water on your stove in half the time! At least, I think that's what the site says. Any Danish speakers out there feel free to correct me.
Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004.   Comments (1)

Xenomorphological Research Institute — image The Nova Corp Xenomorphological Research Institute is "the world's leading centre for the study of extra-terrestrial life." As their website explains: "the NCXRI always attempts to study a species in its native habitat. However, when this is not possible specimens can be brought back to our high-tech research laboratory for further analysis. From simple metal cages to plasma-field containers and full sized aquariums, the NCXRI is fully equipped to house virtually any species." (via Liquito)
Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2004.   Comments (9)

Devirginize Marc — image This falls under the category of 'could easily be true, but seriously, you've got to be kidding.' It's DeVirginizeMarc.com. Marc (if that's his real name) is 26 years old and a virgin. Or, as he puts it, "My name is Marc, and I'm a virgin... and I'm okay with it." But he's obviously not that okay with it, because he's soliciting applications from the public to help him change his situation. Maybe it's just me, but Marc looks like he's closer to his late 30s than his mid 20s. Could he be lying about his age? I immediately checked to see who the website was registered to, but it's registered anonymously through Domains by Proxy. I guess if it were my website, I'd try to stay anonymous too.
Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004.   Comments (5)

Advanced Rutabaga Studies Institute — image It's common knowledge that Rutabaga Studies is one of the most exciting fields of inquiry in the world today, and at the Advanced Rutabaga Studies Institute they're on the cutting edge of it. For instance, you can peek in on their live Rutacam and witness a thrilling Rutabaga experiment in action. Also, keep up with recent developments in Rutabaga Studies, such as the anticipated launching of a giant rutabaga into geostationary orbit. And did you know that September is National Rutabaga Month? All this fascinating information about rutabagas, and I honestly don't think I've ever eaten one in my life.
Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004.   Comments (8)


Saddles for REAL MEN! — image Wimpy men ride on soft, padded bicycle seats. Real men ride on rock-hard seats. Literally. Sheldon Brown is selling Real MAN © Saddles made out of solid granite from Canada's rugged Gaspé peninsula. In order to qualify for purchase of this product, a chemical analysis of your blood will be performed to determine that your testosterone level is high enough to ride the Real MAN © saddle. (via Red Ferret)
Posted: Fri Aug 06, 2004.   Comments (2)

Rance Update — I haven't visited the Rance blog in ages (in case you missed out on the Rance thing, he's an anonymous blogger who claims to be an a-list Hollywood celebrity). Now it looks like Rance has decided to call it quits, but he wants his blog to live on. So he's accepting applications for Rance 2. I guess he must be from Hollywood if he's that committed to producing a sequel. But as is always the case, you just know that the sequel is going to be worse than the original.


Posted: Tue Aug 03, 2004.   Comments (0)

Clubbo.com — image Clubbo.com is definitely one of the most elaborate, in-depth hoax websites that I've ever come across. The attention to detail is astounding. The only site I can think of that rivals it in this respect would be Boilerplate, the Victorian Era Robot.

Clubbo.com purports to be the homepage of an indie record label that's been representing bizarre, one-hit (or in many cases, no-hit) wonders for decades. The fun thing is that they actually provide mp3 samples of all the artists, as well as tons of background material, so you can literally spend hours going through the site. My favorite parts so far: the Soda Pop Shop song by the 'Beethoven of Burps' Clipper Cowbridge, and the theme from The Spooky Bunch. Oh, and the link to their privacy policy is also worth clicking on.

I found out about Clubbo.com from an article in Slate by Paul Boutin that reveals it to be the just-launched fictional creation of Elise Malmberg and Joe Gore. Boutin links to a credits page on Clubbo.com that discloses the whole thing as a hoax, but just poking around the site on my own I couldn't figure out how he found this link to the credits. The Clubbo hoax also extends well beyond the confines of the Clubbo.com website. For instance, one of its bands, Action Plus, has its own website. And on eBay you can bid on a 'Clubbo: Guitar Pick used by Rockfinger's Tommy Lamb!!!!' (that looks an awful lot like the tab of a soda can). The starting bid is only $1999.99.
Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2004.   Comments (2)

Manchurian Global — At first glance, Manchurian Global looks like any other faceless corporation. Its website is full of corporate jargon about mission statements, international client bases, and holistic visions. But, of course, Manchurian Global isn't a real corporation. Its site is part of the advertising campaign for The Manchurian Candidate, which opens today. The illusion of reality that the site maintains is actually quite convincing. They've really made it look like a real company. Only until you dig far into the site do you arrive at suspicious stuff, such as a video showing one of their scientists, Dr. Atticus Noyle, talking about how they can control people's personalities at a genetic level. Paramount has been running an ad on my site for The Manchurian Candidate for the past two weeks, which I thought was pretty cool since I've always liked the original 1962 version of the movie starring Frank Sinatra. I'm hoping the new version can live up to the original.
Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2004.   Comments (23)

Preparing for Emergencies — The British government recently put up a website, preparingforemergencies.gov.uk, filled with advice (most of it fairly obvious) on what to do in case of an emergency. In response York University student Thomas Scott put up this website, preparingforemergencies.co.uk, that looks almost identical but instead offers advice on what to do in situations such as being attacked by a zombie (destroy their brain), or alien invasion (negotiate using sign language). Anyone can see that Scott's site is a spoof... anyone, that is, except the British government, which promptly ordered him to take it down. Scott called their bluff and refused, and it looks like Scott is going to win. The government recently announced that it is "unlikely to take any further action." They must have realized they were making themselves look sillier than Scott's spoof possibly could. (Thanks to Andrew Nixon and Paul in Prague for the links)
Posted: Fri Jul 30, 2004.   Comments (0)

New York Times Story — image This is going to be an egocentric post, because it's about me. I got my picture in the New York Times today. So does that mean I'm famous? Can I walk into an expensive restaurant now and get a table right away? I'm not betting on it. I'm featured in an article by Daniel Terdiman about hoax weblogs. Not that I've ever created a hoax weblog, but I do write about them. My friend Odin Soli, who created the Plain Layne hoax, also got his picture in there (Odin and I studied American History together in Grad School at UC San Diego). That animal on the left side of the picture is a jackalope. And if you look closely you can see my vacuum cleaner behind me, partially hidden by my shoulder. The photographer swore to me that there was no need to move it, because he said it wouldn't show up in the picture. Guess he was wrong. Not that anyone would really notice it... except my wife. The first thing she said when she saw the picture: "And there's our vacuum cleaner."
Posted: Thu Jul 29, 2004.   Comments (11)

Butt Candles — image Ear Candling is an ancient home remedy in which wax and other impurities are supposedly drawn out of a person's ear canal by sticking a burning hollow candle in their ear. The theory is that the hollow candle creates a vacuum that sucks everything out.
Butt Candling, by extension, is the same procedure, only with the candle placed... well, you can guess where it's placed. As the ButtCandle site (which is safe for work) puts it: "In length and diameter, [the butt candle is] similiar to common candles. However, a hollow channel is cut from bottom to top which causes air to be drawn from the base to the top. In practice, this creates a vacuum at the base which, when inserted in the rectum, gently dislodges intestinal and rectal blockage."
Ear Candling is a real treatment, though don't expect it to work. As QuackWatch says: "Since wax is sticky, the negative pressure needed to pull wax from the canal would have to be so powerful that it would rupture the eardrum in the process."
Butt Candling, by contrast, is just a joke. Though the guy who made the site is selling ButtCandle thongs and mugs on CafeShops. Yeah, that's just what I want to sip my coffee from in the morning: a ButtCandle mug. (Thanks to Jim Terr for the link)
Posted: Wed Jul 28, 2004.   Comments (19)

International Jewish Conspiracy — All true conspiracy wackos know that there's an international Jewish conspiracy to control the world, but they may not have realized that this conspiracy has its own website, appropriately called InternationalJewishConspiracy.com. The site offers the lowdown on all aspects of the Jewish conspiracy, such as a refresher on secret Jewish signs as well as a list of some of the lesser known protocols of the Elders of Zion. Obviously the site is a spoof, and pretty funny. But still, I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be wearing one of the 'International Jewish Conspiracy' t-shirts they sell. I'd worry that people wouldn't recognize it as a joke. (Thanks to Jim Terr for the submission)
Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004.   Comments (2)

Misleading URLs — Jim Terr submitted this hoax website of his own creation: willingchicks.com. It offers "world-class companionship — If you can afford it!" It belongs in the genre of sites with misleading URLs, in the same vein as nice-tits.org and supermodelswithseethroughtops.com (all very safe for work). Misleading URLs are similar to Unfortunate URLs, the difference being that the former are intentional whereas the latter aren't.
Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004.   Comments (0)

Baldwinization — image Dr. Clive Boddicker is a plastic surgeon who's discovered the secret of true happiness. Happiness is looking like one of the Baldwin brothers. And his Baldwinization procedure makes this possible. It "results in the patient's perfect resemblance of the Baldwin brother of their choice." For top dollar you can get 'The Alec.' But if you're on a tight budget you might have to settle for 'The Daniel.' Both men and women can undergo the Baldwinization procedure. (via New Yorkish)
Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004.   Comments (2)

Be A Celeb — Fake blogs are a growing trend on the web. Just recently we saw Plain Layne exposed as Odin Soli. But now, with the advent of an online role-playing game called Be A Celeb, the fake-blog phenomenon seems to be rising to a whole new level. The goal of Be A Celeb is to create a convincing fake celebrity blog. You can choose to be whatever celebrity you like, as long as someone else hasn't already taken the celebrity. Celebrities already in play include Clay Aiken, Jessica Biel, and Kirsten Dunst. Once you've created your fake celebrity, you can then make them interact with other fake celebrities... kind of like a strange alternative reality Hollywood, or LiveJournal Celebrity Sims.
An article about this game has been posted on morons.org. I'm wondering if they'd let me play either Plain Layne or Kaycee Nicole Swenson as a character... though they'd probably say they don't qualify as 'celebrities.'... or what would happen if a real celebrity began playing themselves as a fake celebrity? The mind boggles.
Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004.   Comments (5)

Viagraholics Anonymous — image Sex addiction can be real enough, but Viagraholics Anonymous, a site dedicated to helping men who are addicted to Viagra, seems a bit tongue-in-cheek. For instance, take this testimony from Ben, a recovering Viagraholic: "I turned to the Internet and ordered more Viagra online, from two or three sites at a time, to maintain my supply. The days that followed are just a blur. Mornings I'd wake up on the couch, my pants around my ankles with another damned erection, then take a cold shower and stagger into work. I'd be walking around with an obvious erection in my pants, unaware that people were laughing at me behind my back." Ben's problem sounds a little like something out of a Clive Barker story. (via J-Walk)
Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2004.   Comments (3)

Hoax Industries Enoon Car — Since I'm on the subject of free-energy cars, here's the ENOON Car by Hoax Industries. "The ENOON*-device is able to power a car for an
unlimited time period without the need of refuelling!" ENOON stands for 'energy out of nowhere.'
Posted: Mon Jul 12, 2004.   Comments (5)

To Hermione on her 18th Birthday — image Donald Nyffington, 37-year-old UNIX programmer, is in love. He's in love with Hermione Granger... or rather with Emma Watson who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies. And Emma, unfortunately for Donald, is only 14. So he's started the 'Official Countdown Website to Hermione Granger's 18th Birthday.' The site is convincing enough that you really might start to believe that Donald and his unrequited passion for Hermione are for real. But they're not. The picture on Donald's 'About Me' page gives it away. It comes from an old Onion article titled 'Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up In Harry Potter Craze.' (via Scattered Pieces)
Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2004.   Comments (6)

Alien Abductions Incorporated — image Alien Abductions, Inc. can provide you with your very own alien-abduction memories. As their website says: "The fact of the matter is that most people will probably never have the opportunity to be abducted by aliens. And even those elite few who are selected for abduction receive no assurances that they will fully remember their experience--much less a guarantee that their abduction will be everything that they hoped it would be. So why wait? Why wonder if they're ever going to come for you? Why even invest the time, trouble, and expense involved in an actual abduction when the highly trained and professional staff at Alien Abductions Incorporated can provide you with personalized, realistic memories of the alien abduction that you have been waiting for your entire life?" Their basic package offers implanted abduction memories, but I figure that if you're going to sign up for this, then at the very least you'd also want to get the 'front yard crop circle' add-on. (Submitted by Sam)
Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004.   Comments (0)

Cult of the New Eve — image The Cult of the New Eve appears to be an organization that celebrates the physical transformation of humans through biotechnology and genetic engineering. Their 'New Eve' is the name they use to refer to the unknown donor whose DNA was sequenced by the Human Genome Project. They vigorously oppose any kind of ethical or religious opposition to bioengineering, proclaiming that 'humankind is not spiritual - it is material.' In reality, the site isn't the homepage of some extreme scientific cult. It's the creation of an art group known as the Critical Art Ensemble. They've created another site called The Society for Reproductive Anachronisms (not totally safe for work), that appears to be the polar opposite of the Cult of the New Eve, being an organization opposed to any kind of genetic alterations. The Critical Arts Ensemble has been in the news recently because one of its members, Steve Kurtz, is being charged with the illegal possession of biological agents, even though Kurtz insists these 'biological agents' were nothing more dangerous than you'd find in a high school biology lab, and that he uses the material in his art.
Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004.   Comments (1)

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