Hoax Museum Blog: Sex/Romance

False Alert — Normally I ignore things like bomb hoaxes, but this one was too good to pass up. Security officials at Mackay Airport went on high alert and evacuated the terminal when a "rubbish bin started humming furiously." Upon inspection, they discovered a vibrating sex toy "emitting a lively buzzing sound" inside the trash can. A sheepish 26-year-old man stepped forward and admitted the device was his. He had thrown it away before boarding because he didn't want to go through security with it. "But instead of remaining discreetly discarded, it somehow managed to turn itself on."
Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2004.   Comments (5)

Lonely Hearts Scam — So out of the blue this girl from Russia sends you an email via Yahoo Personals. The two of you start corresponding. She sends you her picture... and she's really freakin' hot! Then she says she wants to call you. But she also insists that you give her your mailing address and full name. Why would she need that? So the question is: are you being set up to be scammed? If so, then what's the scam? That's the real-life question facing Johnny over at LiveJournal. I don't know exactly what the scam is, or even if there is one, though it sounds like one to me. Posting under the username 'hornswoggle' I theorized that Johnny could be faced with either some kind of identity theft scam, or the classic Lonely Hearts Scam. In the Lonely Hearts Scam, men are duped into sending gifts and money to beautiful female pen-pals, not realizing that their pen-pals are never who they claim to be. One of the most famous practitioners of this con was Susanna Mildred Hill, a 60-year-old mother of ten who conned hundreds of men out of thousands of dollars during the 1940s by convincing them that she was actually a beautiful young woman in her 20s.
Posted: Sat Sep 04, 2004.   Comments (14)

Explicit Scenes On Haribo’s Fruit Chews? — image Do the new graphics on boxes of Haribo's Maoam fruit chews show scenes of explicit sex? The members of St. Blasien Jesuit College think they do, and have publicly complained about them. The boxes depict various fruits frolicking with a blobby lime-colored creature. Are the scenes as bad as the college says? Well, you've got to admit that the College has a point. After all, what is that lemon doing with the lime-blob? Even Haribo admits that the packaging is "very racy." So my guess is that the sexual overtones are deliberate. But on the other hand, we are just talking about fruits and a lime blob. So maybe all of us who think the lemon and lime-blob are getting it on, just have dirty minds. The controversy reminds me of that rogue tin of Huntley & Palmers biscuits, but on a much larger scale.
Update: The story gets even better. Turns out that the faculty of the Jesuit College never complained about the racy candy packaging. The letter of complaint actually was "a hoax perpetrated by pupils at the school who admitted writing it and posting it on the Internet 'as a joke'." The German tabloid press found the letter, thought it was real, and reported it as news. You gotta love the tabloids. Of course, this still doesn't answer the question of just what is that lemon doing with the lime-blob?
Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004.   Comments (27)

Child Pimp & Ho Costumes — image Looking for a unique Halloween costume for your kid? Then check out the Child Pimp & Ho Costumes offered by Brands On Sale. For your boy you have a choice of the generic pimp suit costume, the long pimp daddy suit, cheetah pimp suit, or zebra pimp suit. But for your girl you're limited to just a single ho costume (though you could send her out in the spoiled brat girl costume). And let Fido join in the fun with the pimp suit dog costume. A link to these costumes was doing the blog rounds last week, and when I first saw them I figured they were simply costumes in bad taste... not a hoax. But according to des femmes they are a hoax. Des femmes reports that, "I spoke with Jonathan at Brands On Sale. He said the page was hacked and they're still trying to remove it from the server. The pimp costumes are actually zoot suits and the ho costume is supposed to be a flapper." This was posted on the 25th. It's now six days later and Brands on Sale apparently still has not been able to correct the item descriptions, which seems a little suspicious. But we'll have to wait and see what happens.
Update: Looks like I was wrong. This Yahoo! News story that Dwight linked to in the comments seems to indicate that Brands on Sale is seriously selling these outfits... that they weren't the creation of a hacker.
Posted: Tue Aug 31, 2004.   Comments (9)


British Gamers Prefer Virtual Girls — image A survey of British (male) gamers found that 61% of them would rather go on a date with the virtual Lara Croft, rather than the real flesh-and-blood model Jordan. These must be the same people who have a virtual girlfriend on their mobile phone and order up imaginary girlfriends from eBay. In fairness, I can see why the gamers might have said this. After all, Jordan doesn't rank too high on the reality index herself (and as one guy put it, she seems like she'd be "mind-numbingly dull" in person). But still, she does have the benefit of being real. (via Sexy Pop Culture)
Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004.   Comments (13)

JDate Personal Ads — image Banner ads for JDate, the Israeli dating service, promise to match Jewish bachelors up with attractive Jewish women. For instance, one ad shows blonde-haired, 22-year-old Hila from Tel Aviv who's "looking for a single Jewish guy." Another shows 26-year-old Sharon who's looking for a Jewish husband. But as it turns out, there is no Hila from Tel Aviv. The woman in the picture is actually Hungarian porn star Kari Gold. And Sharon? She's really Devon Sweet, a bisexual model from the United States. Neither Kari Gold nor Devon Sweet are affiliated in any way with JDate (so no luck meeting them that way). Their pictures were just randomly collected on the internet. I guess this is another shocking reminder that advertisers sometimes bend (or completely disregard) the truth.
Posted: Thu Aug 26, 2004.   Comments (4)

The It-Was-My-Twin-Sister Excuse — image Aylar's career as a finalist for Miss Norway was about to come to a crashing end when her secret past in the adult film industry was revealed. The rules of the Miss Norway competition clearly forbid contestants from having posed nude for money. But luckily Aylar had an explanation ready at hand. That woman doing all those things in those movies wasn't her, even though it looked exactly like her. It was her twin sister. (Wasn't there an episode of Friends where this happened to Phoebe?). Unfortunately for Aylar, a quick investigation revealed that she had no twin sister. She's now the ex- an ex-finalist for Miss Norway.
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004.   Comments (7)

Paper Napkin Rejection Service — Almost two years ago I posted an entry about the Rejection Hotline, which is a service that provides you with a phony number to give to losers in clubs (or elsewhere) who are trying to get your phone number. When they call it up they hear a message telling them that they've been rejected. A new internet version of the Rejection Hotline is called Paper Napkin. It provides you with a phony email address to give to people. When they write to it, they automatically get this response: "This email is a rejection notice directed toward yourself from someone who gave you this bunk email address. That lovely person wants to communicate a message to you. In short, they are not interested."
Posted: Mon Aug 16, 2004.   Comments (1)

Where to Stay in Athens — The Olympic Games are about to start and a lot of people are probably thinking that it would be fun to go to Athens to check them out. But where to stay? Well, if you're "a girl, aged between 18 and 32, reasonably good looking and open-minded, you can stay in Athens in a beautiful house, free of charge." (Some language might make it NSFW). Oh yeah. There are just a few rules: "1. You cannot stay for more than 4 days. 2. You cannot bring any males with you. 3. You've got to be the landlord's lover for a night." Sure, this could be real. People do far more outrageous things. But what makes me think it's all a hoax is that a number of links on the site deceptively lead to commercial porn sites (though the links on the frontpage seem to be okay). In other words, it's a kind of bait-and-switch scam. The url 'EZ-B8' should have given it away. I guess it's working because people like me link to it anyway.
Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004.   Comments (0)

Devirginize Marc — image This falls under the category of 'could easily be true, but seriously, you've got to be kidding.' It's DeVirginizeMarc.com. Marc (if that's his real name) is 26 years old and a virgin. Or, as he puts it, "My name is Marc, and I'm a virgin... and I'm okay with it." But he's obviously not that okay with it, because he's soliciting applications from the public to help him change his situation. Maybe it's just me, but Marc looks like he's closer to his late 30s than his mid 20s. Could he be lying about his age? I immediately checked to see who the website was registered to, but it's registered anonymously through Domains by Proxy. I guess if it were my website, I'd try to stay anonymous too.
Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004.   Comments (5)

Escape-a-Date — The Arizona Daily Star reports that Cingular Wireless is preparing to debut an Escape-a-Date feature on its phones. It will allow you to prearrange a phone call to interrupt you during a date, providing you with a convenient out, should it be necessary. Excuse messages offered up will include "my friend is having some trouble with superglue and needs some help" and "my friend was looking in his fridge and found some pudding that's shaped like Elvis." That second thing about Elvis really happened to me, except it wasn't pudding. It was a potato chip. (via BoingBoing)
Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004.   Comments (3)

Boyfriend Arm Pillow — image For those women who don't want to sleep with a real man, but like to have an arm wrapped around them at night, Japanese manufacturer Kameo has come out with the Boyfriend Arm Pillow. A Kameo spokesman says that, "It has been so successful we have had to draw up a waiting list. Women of all ages have been queueing round the block to take one home." Kameo also plans to introduce a Girlfriend Arm Pillow later. But this is my question: If you're married would it be considered cheating to sleep with a boyfriend/girlfriend arm pillow?
Posted: Thu Aug 05, 2004.   Comments (13)

Nude Photos Required to Enter Canada — The Toronto Sun reports that exotic dancers applying for a visa to enter Canada are now expected to submit photos of themselves performing in the nude... to prove that they really are exotic dancers. Immigration lawyer Mendel Green claims that the rules are quite specific: "They can't be partially nude. If they don't have pictures in the nude, they are not going to wiggle their bottoms in Canada." This sounds very weird. Could the Toronto Sun be the victim of a joke? Are they pulling our leg? Or have Canadian immigration officials just figured out a great way to get their hands on lots of free pictures of naked women? I'm not sure, but given how many other bizarre rules and regulations government bureaucrats manage to come up with, I'm guessing the story is probably true.
Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004.   Comments (5)

Sperm Race TV — Reality TV shows just keep getting weirder and weirder. The latest one being developed in Britain (unless it's all a hoax, like Lapdance Island or Quarantine) is Sperm Race TV, in which a group of guys get to compete for the prize of fathering a child. Two finalists are chosen, one chosen by the mother on the basis of romantic attraction, the other chosen by the show's producers on the basis of 'genetic compatibility' with the mother. The two guys will then compete in a sperm race, filmed with special fiber-optic cameras, to see whose sperm can inseminate the mother's egg first. To me this sounds hoaxy on a number of different levels. First of all, what do they mean by 'genetic compatibility'? I can understand you might want to screen to make sure two partners aren't harboring deadly recessive genes, but beyond that what exactly makes two people genetically compatible? Second, how exactly will they stage this 'sperm race'? I assume they'd have to introduce the two sperm samples at the exact same time into the woman to make it a fair race, but then how will they know which sperm belongs to which father? And finally, are they seriously contemplating getting the woman pregnant? Or will they abort the child? Either way, they're going to outrage a lot of people.
Posted: Sat Jul 24, 2004.   Comments (12)

Misleading URLs — Jim Terr submitted this hoax website of his own creation: willingchicks.com. It offers "world-class companionship — If you can afford it!" It belongs in the genre of sites with misleading URLs, in the same vein as nice-tits.org and supermodelswithseethroughtops.com (all very safe for work). Misleading URLs are similar to Unfortunate URLs, the difference being that the former are intentional whereas the latter aren't.
Posted: Tue Jul 20, 2004.   Comments (0)

The Plucking Rainbow Orgy — image Viewers of British tv might remember Rainbow, a children's show starring the puppet characters Bungle, Zippy, and George, and hosted by Geoffrey Hayes. Recently a movie has been circulating around the web (you can also see it here) purporting to show an episode of Rainbow that's heavily, heavily laced with sexual innuendo. Way too much innuendo to possibly be accidental. It's been dubbed the 'Rainbow Plucking Orgy' tape. It's very funny, but is it real? Was it ever really broadcast? According to the Planet Gromit site, the tape is real, but it never aired. It was created as a joke and was not meant to see the light of day. I have no idea how it's surfaced now.
Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2004.   Comments (17)

Viagraholics Anonymous — image Sex addiction can be real enough, but Viagraholics Anonymous, a site dedicated to helping men who are addicted to Viagra, seems a bit tongue-in-cheek. For instance, take this testimony from Ben, a recovering Viagraholic: "I turned to the Internet and ordered more Viagra online, from two or three sites at a time, to maintain my supply. The days that followed are just a blur. Mornings I'd wake up on the couch, my pants around my ankles with another damned erection, then take a cold shower and stagger into work. I'd be walking around with an obvious erection in my pants, unaware that people were laughing at me behind my back." Ben's problem sounds a little like something out of a Clive Barker story. (via J-Walk)
Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2004.   Comments (3)

Gay Fuel Energy Drink — image Gay Fuel is the bright pink energy drink that will get you 'Fired Up'. When I first saw this site I figured it had to be a spoof. After all, a special drink just for gays? It seems like a natural lead-in to all kinds of jokes (for instance, what happens if you drink it straight?). But after some quick research I'm quite sure that Gay Fuel is very real. It's available for purchase from a number of online vendors ($12.95 a six-pack!), and a lot of other sites discuss it. Andy Towle, the artist who designed the can for it, says that it tastes like "something between a Cosmo and a Red Bull." The whole concept of Gay Fuel seems a bit like niche marketing run amok to me, though I guess there are all kinds of products marketed exclusively towards the fundamentalist Christian community, so why not have a drink marketed exclusively towards the gay community? But it seems like not everyone in the gay community is embracing it with open arms. A gay rights activist in Portland has declared that "We are not interested in "brand loyalty" to those "brave" corporations who first bid to divest us of our money. We won't drink a Bud Light, Absolut or Gay Fuel beverage to support the commercial assimilation of our community."
Posted: Wed Jun 30, 2004.   Comments (3)

Clueless Childless Couple Follow-Up — Back in May I posted an entry about a German couple who went to a fertility clinic to find out why they couldn't produce a child. The reason: they hadn't realized that you first have to have sex in order to get pregnant. Supposedly they both came from very religious backgrounds and had never been taught about the birds and the bees. The clinic was said to be planning to conduct a survey to find out if there were other similarly clueless couples out there. This story was widely reported in the news, even though it seemed a little far-fetched, to say the least. At the time I noted that a case kind of like this had been reported in a medical journal, but that the reason the couple didn't have sex was not because they didn't realize what they were supposed to do, but because the husband suffered from erectile dysfunction. I emailed the German clinic where the clueless couple was said to have been treated and finally received a reply confirming that the case of the clueless couple reported in the English-language media did derive from the case of the couple who didn't have sex for more mechanical reasons. Here's the email I received from the doctor:



Dear Alex Boese,

As one of the authors of the paper you asked for Prof Johannisson I would like to inform you, that in fact we treated such a couple. The problem wasn't that the couple had tried to get pregnant without having sexual intercourse - the reason for not having sexual intercourse was psychogenic erectile dysfunction in the male. They were aware of their problem and not treated with assisted reproductive techiques. We send them to a psychologist for counselling. The reason to publish this case report was to make doctors sensible for those problems. All other things, described in this paper on (1) the religious background and (2) a planned survey etc are not true and definitively not related to this case! May be, others have had a similiar case published which I am not aware of. Hope, this information helps you to put some light on the situation.

Yours,

Priv. Doz. Dr. med. M. Ludwig

ENDOKRINOLOGIKUM Hamburg

Zentrum für Hormon- und Stoffwechselerkrankungen,

gynäkologische Endokrinologie und Reproduktionsmedizin




So that settles that. There was a very small grain of truth to the story, but in its passage from a medical journal article to the Daily Mirror and beyond, the story was improved quite a bit.
Posted: Sat Jun 26, 2004.   Comments (0)

To Hermione on her 18th Birthday — image Donald Nyffington, 37-year-old UNIX programmer, is in love. He's in love with Hermione Granger... or rather with Emma Watson who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter movies. And Emma, unfortunately for Donald, is only 14. So he's started the 'Official Countdown Website to Hermione Granger's 18th Birthday.' The site is convincing enough that you really might start to believe that Donald and his unrequited passion for Hermione are for real. But they're not. The picture on Donald's 'About Me' page gives it away. It comes from an old Onion article titled 'Creepy Middle-Aged Weirdos Swept Up In Harry Potter Craze.' (via Scattered Pieces)
Posted: Wed Jun 23, 2004.   Comments (6)

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