Hoax Museum Blog: Politics

Deep Throat Revealed on Toast — image The revelation that Mark Felt was Deep Throat has been the big news item this week. This eBay auction (Deep Throat Revealed on Toast) also managed to make it into the news, getting mentioned on CNN. However, it doesn't appear to have many bids yet.

It wasn’t Bob Woodward, CNN or Vanity Fair that broke the story to me… My toast revealed the truth of a 31 year political mystery. Watergate and the Secret Source will no longer be pondered.  The words “I'm Deep Throat!” appeared above the image of W. Mark Felt. I knew it had been a rumor over the years and he was President Nixon’s number one suspect but I never thought anything about it until this morning when the message came though clear as can be. I thought “No, the toast must be wrong!” I continued with my morning activities and got online to read the news at lunch. I was shocked to see the headline and quote “I'm the guy they used to call Deep Throat” confessed W. Mark Felt.

(Thanks to Patricia Moscoso for the link)
Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2005.   Comments (14)

Coalition for Traditional Values — Laura Bush has been getting rave reviews for her comedy routine at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, but not everyone was pleased. The Coalition for Traditional Values issued a press release (pdf file) denouncing her performance.

We saw our President undermined, mocked and emasculated by his own wife on the most public of stages, and at a time when his manliness is already under attack. We saw the leader of the free world seemingly unable to lead his own family. Mr. President, as God's elected represented here on earth, you owe it to every American to live your life as an example to us. And that example extends to the behavior of your wife, Mrs Bush, as well.

But actually, there is no 'Coalition for Traditional Values'. The name is a parody of the Traditional Values Coalition, who has now denounced the satirical press release. The fake news release was created by the Swift Report.
Posted: Tue May 03, 2005.   Comments (15)

Campaign to Reelect the Prime Minister — A recently declassified video "shows Prime Minister Tony Blair making tough decisions in the run up to the War on Iraq and demonstrates the correctness of continued high level support for Tony Blair seeking another term in office." (Yes, the video is a joke.)

But apparently the BBC is getting behind the effort to reelect Tony Blair as well. The Telegraph reports that it sent hecklers armed with microphones to stage a disruption at a rally for opposition candidate Michael Howard. The BBC claims that the staged disruption was part of a "completely legitimate programme about the history and art of political heckling"

Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005.   Comments (10)

Politics and Photoshop — A Tory candidate, Ed Matts, in Dorset South (Great Britain) is being criticized for doctoring a photo. In the original photo he's shown attending a rally trying to prevent the deportation of an asylum-seeker. But in the version of the photo he placed on his website the sign he's holding has changed to apparently support a different (anti-immigration) position. The crowd has also disappeared. Seems like a strange attempt to rewrite history (and one's stance on an issue) by photoshop--though, of course, Matts says that the two views he's expressing are entirely reconcilable. (Thanks to Andrew for the link)
image
Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005.   Comments (5)


YCT Immigrant Hunt — An email is going around that describes an 'Illegal Immigrant Hunt' to be held at the University of North Texas by a group called the Young Conservatives of Texas:

"Well, the YCT (Young Conservatives of Texas) are at it again. This time they've organized a so-called "Immigrant Hunt" for this Wednesday, March 2nd on the West Mall on campus-- they have reserved the space from 11:00am-1:00pm. They recently organized a similar event at the University of North Texas and appear to be emboldened by the post-9-11 anti-immigrant climate. They plan to wear color-coded anti-immigrant shirts and "hunt for immigrants" who will be YCT-ers dressed in brown for Latina/os, yellow for Asians, etc. and offer rewards."

This email appears to be a mixture of fact and fiction. From what I can piece together, the YCT did hold a controversial rally about a month ago which
"featured Young Conservatives members wearing bright orange shirts that read "Illegal Immigrant" on the front and "Catch me if U can" on the back. Passersby were encouraged to track down the mock "illegal aliens" around campus to win a prize." So the original rally seems bad enough. However, they don't seem to be hosting a follow-up event in which they'll actually play the 'immigrant hunt' game. An email, supposedly from the Chairman of the YCT, denying involvement in this event is now going around:

Here's an update on the reported illegal immigrant hunt: The information you received is false. Somebody made this shit up, and I'm extremely pissed off. We're having a friggin' Texas Independence Day Celebration tomorrow....AND THAT'S IT!!! Cakes and Cookies and Lemonade!!! I got a hold of the original email that I'm guessing you received, and it was all lies. Email whoever sent you your information, and ask them to  research their information before they sent it ALL OVER THE UNITED STATES!!!
Lauren E.Conner
Chairman
Young Conservatives of Texas - UT Austin


Posted: Wed Mar 02, 2005.   Comments (43)

Libertarian Girl Unmasked — image The Libertarian Girl blog was authored by the girl you see in the thumbnail to the right. Or so it seemed. A lot of people were suspicious. And it turned out that their suspicions were correct. Catallarchy.net discovered that the picture of the girl had been lifted from a russian mail-order bride site. The real author of Libertarian Girl was quick to confess to being a fake, though he's still not revealing his true identity. But he has posted his thoughts about what it was like being a faux-girl blogger:

One thing I learned from this blog is how easy attractive woman have it. When I had a blog as my real self, no one linked to me, no one left any comments, it was as if the blog existed in a vacuum. But things were different for Libertarian Girl. Every day I'd check Technorati and discover new unsolicited links. It was like I had warped into an alternate universe where all the rules had changed. At the rate things were happening, this would have been an A-list blog in a few more months.
Posted: Wed Feb 16, 2005.   Comments (17)

Jeff Gannon, Ace Reporter — So this guy Jeff Gannon shows up at the White House and wants press credentials so that he can attend the President's press conference. But his real name isn't Jeff Gannon, and he isn't really a reporter, although he's been playing one on the internet for a few months. His experience as a journalist seems to consist of posting slightly reworded Republican press releases on the website of Talon News, which is a conservative news outlet that hardly anyone has heard of (and which is also a barely disguised front organization for Republican activists). Oh, and this Gannon character also claims to be a born-again, bible-thumping, red-necked conservative, but he also seems to be connected to the gay porn industry. So what does the White House do when this guy approaches them? Well, they immediately give him press credentials, of course, and allow him to attend the president's Jan. 26 press conference, during which the president actually calls on him and Gannon proceeds to ask a strange, kiss-ass question about how it's possible for republicans to work with democrats since democrats are so 'divorced from reality'. I can only see one possibility--that Gannon was a republican shill. A fake reporter planted in the audience in order to ask softball questions. Very strange. But Gannon himself sounds like such an unusual and contradictory character that you have to wonder if he was simply the pawn in some kind of Manchurian Candidate type of situation... a struggling gay porn actor brainwashed and transformed into an ultra-conservative republican white house reporter.
Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005.   Comments (39)

American Fascist Movement — I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not the website of the American Fascist Movement is meant to be a joke. If it is real, then it presents an incredibly watered-down, warm-and-fuzzy version of fascism. But since the site mainly consists of old (untranslated) speeches by Franco, as well as samples of really bad marching band music from the '30s, I'm suspecting that it's all some kind of joke. The site is registered to 'Danny Duce', which must be a play on 'Il Duce'. If it is real, then I guess we can be thankful that it's probably not going to inspire many people to convert to fascism.
Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2005.   Comments (26)

Vietnam Vote Article — In the wake of yesterday's vote in Iraq, an email has been circulating around containing the text of what is, supposedly, a New York Times article from 1967. Here's a sample of the text:

U.S. Encouraged by Vietnam Vote :
Officials Cite 83% Turnout Despite Vietcong Terror
by Peter Grose, Special to the New York Times (9/4/1967: p. 2)

WASHINGTON, Sept. 3-- United States officials were surprised and heartened today at the size of turnout in South Vietnam's presidential election despite a Vietcong terrorist campaign to disrupt the voting.
According to reports from Saigon, 83 per cent of the 5.85 million registered voters cast their ballots yesterday. Many of them risked reprisals threatened by the Vietcong.
The size of the popular vote and the inability of the Vietcong to destroy the election machinery were the two salient facts in a preliminary assessment of the nation election based on the incomplete returns reaching here...
A successful election has long been seen as the keystone in President Johnson's policy of encouraging the growth of constitutional processes in South Vietnam.


Substitute Bush for Johnson and Iraq for Vietnam, and this article could easily be mistaken for any one of the articles written about yesterday's vote in Iraq. So is it real? Apparently it is. Here's a link to the original article, available (for a fee) in the NY Times archive. (via Weird is Relative)
Posted: Mon Jan 31, 2005.   Comments (18)

Inauguration Pickup Scam — While other people are planning how to spend the day of the Inauguration protesting (or not spending a dime), here's a guy who's figured out that the Inauguration and all the related festivities represent an opportunity to trick women into going out with him. Here's his scam, as he tells it in this post on Craigslist DC (warning: not safe for work language): He placed an ad looking for a date to accompany him to a black tie inaugural ball. The one condition was that he wanted to meet his date for drinks a few days before the event. He claims that this has resulted in women calling him all the time, pleading with him to pick them as his date, buying him free drinks, etc. In reality, he doesn't have tickets to a black-tie event. Plus, he's a Democrat. I'm not sure if any part of this guy's story is true, but women should be on their guard.
Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005.   Comments (2)

Poo Prank — The Sun reports on this very odd form of political protest:

GERMAN police are hunting for a gang who have been going around Berlin sticking tiny American flags into dog poo. Officers say they are baffled by the bizarre behaviour - which does not break any laws - and have stepped-up patrols to catch the gang.
Cops had initially thought the jokers were protesting about the war in Iraq, according to iol.co.nz. But the pranks continued throughout George W Bush's re-election leaving detectives without a clear motive.
Police spokesperson Reiner Kuechler said: "We have sent out extra patrols to try to catch whoever is doing this in the act. But frankly, we don't know what we would do if we caught them red-handed."
Park boss Josef Oettl added: "This has been going on for about a year now, and there must be 2000 to 3000 piles of excrement that have been claimed during that time."


It seems like the real criminals here are the people who aren't cleaning up after their dogs.
Posted: Wed Jan 19, 2005.   Comments (12)

Bush Arrested in Canada — image A mock CNN page with news about Bush being arrested in Canada and charged with war crimes has been doing the rounds, and apparently fooling quite a few people. It's pretty well done. The url even looks like it could be the real thing. Axis of Logic also has a satirical article about Bush being arrested on their site. Apparently the Axis of Logic article got picked up by the Google newsbot and was temporarily posted as a real headline on Google News. Hairy Houdini, as he promised in the Hoax Forum, sent me a screen cap of this (Thanks, HH, though unfortunately it doesn't look like your christmas wish will come true). I'm not sure if the mock CNN page and the Axis of Logic article are related in any way.
Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004.   Comments (21)

Pertannually Insubdurient — EU bureaucrats are a perpetual target for humor. Here's the latest one. Supposedly they decided to remove the word 'pertannually' from the EU constitution, having decided that it was incomprehensible and meaningless. And what did they replace it with? The much clearer term 'insubdurience'. One source for this story is John Humphrys, a political journalist who's just written a book Lost for Words, about "the demise of the language." The tale also pops up in this Guardian article. The story could very well be true, but it also sounds suspiciously like one of those Euromyths that have become so popular. For instance, there's the Euromyth about the supposed new EU law that forbids bananas from being "too excessively curved." Or the one about how the EU has classified kilts as 'womenswear'. To fact check the 'pertannually insubdurient' story I tried to check the EU constitution itself. It's available online, but having looked at it, I'm now not sure how to find "clause 82, paragraph 17, subsection (b)".
Posted: Wed Dec 01, 2004.   Comments (10)

Stunning Ingratitude of De Gaulle — image In 1945 did Charles De Gaulle really say to Winston Churchill, in reference to the military aid that the Allies provided to France to defeat Germany, that "We shall stun you with our ingratitude"? Monday, November 22 was the birthday of De Gaulle, and a number of right-leaning blogs marked the occasion by posting this quotation (they seem to have picked it up from an article in the Belfast Telegraph). So did De Gaulle really say this?

Even though the tense verbal exchanges between De Gaulle and Churchill are well known, this particular remark sounded hoaxy to me. A quick google search didn't turn up any source that could verify the remark, though it did pull up an essay noting that Churchill once quoted to De Gaulle a passage from Plutarch: "ingratitude towards great men is the mark of a strong people." So it's possible that De Gaulle responded to this comment by saying that the French would stun Churchill with their ingratitude (in which context, the remark would be a compliment).

However, a second, more thorough google search revealed that the 'stunning ingratitude' quotation has been attributed to a number of other people besides De Gaulle. This 2003 article in theage.com.au attributes it to the prime minister of the Hapsburg Empire: When, in 1848, Tsarist Russia intervened to put down an insurrection in Hungary, thus saving the Hapsburg Empire which was then in deep trouble, the Hapsburg prime minister commented that: "We shall astonish the world with our ingratitude."

But quite a few other people (including the conservative columnists Pat Buchanan and George Will) credit the remark to the Italian statesman Camillo Benso Cavour: The Sardinian minister who guided his country to the unification of Italy in the mid-1800, Cavour, did so with French help in a war with Austria. Without the French Army the Austrians would probably still have been ruling Northern Italy in 1914. Cavour's comment was that someday the Italians would astonish the world with their ingratitude to France.


I suspect that Cavour is the true source of the saying. In which case, it's ironic that a remark originally referring to ingratitude towards France has now come full circle and is being used to demonstrate (supposedly) the ingratitude of France.
Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2004.   Comments (7)

Superendowed Cheney — image I believe that this picture might give me nightmares. Is it fake? Apparently not. It was taken by Dale Guldan, a Milwaukee Journal Sentinel photographer. It ran in the Journal Sentinel on Sept. 11, accompanying this article. The editors claim that they never noticed that strange bulge in Cheney's pants... until readers began pointing it out. So if the picture isn't fake, what could that bulge be? I refuse to believe, as many have jokingly suggested, that Dick is 'superendowed'. So if it's not that, could it be something in his pocket or attached to his leg? My theory is that it's either a security device, or an incontinence device. Whatever it is, I don't think they can blame this on poor tailoring. For more info see here. (click on the image for a larger version) (via blue lemur)
Posted: Thu Nov 18, 2004.   Comments (18)

Kerry’s T-Shirt — Here's another political spoof photo that's going around. At least, I'm assuming it's a spoof. Kerry's head looks pasted on, and the words on the t-shirt also look photoshopped... not to mention that it's hard to imagine Kerry really wearing a t-shirt like that. (via J-Walk) image
Posted: Sun Nov 14, 2004.   Comments (5)

Clooney’s Anti-Bush Blog — Defamer reports (via A Fly on the Wall) that George Clooney has his own weblog, titled A Chronicle of Bush's Failures. It's purely political, focusing (as you might guess from the title) on all of Bush's shortcomings. The question is, is this really Clooney's blog? I'm not convinced, mainly because whoever is writing the blog doesn't seem to claim anywhere that he or she is Clooney. And I'm not sure why we should believe A Fly on the Wall's anonymous source. More likely it's some blogger trying to attract traffic by spreading a rumor that he's George Clooney.
Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004.   Comments (5)

Goths for Bush — image I'm a Democrat, but I've got to hand it to the Goths for Bush. I like their reasoning: "We are forming this Goth Republican Band to help elect George Bush to continue the sadness. His actions facilitate our morbid fascination and the beauty of enduring pain. Many people lead unhappy lives and that is sad. Bush will continue the sadness. He knows that gentle people are excellent for spanking. His foreign policy is the best, he spanks the world and the unseen one knows it deserves it, so beautifully dirty, grimy and perverse." I'm assuming this is satire, but it's subtle enough that you can't really be sure.
Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2004.   Comments (12)

Vote Cindy Brady — Cindy Brady is running for office. Cindy was born in Milton, Florida on November 10, 1960. She is the daughter of Bob and Mary Melton. Although not born in Alamance County, both of Cindy’s parents were raised here. After her father retired from the Navy in 1974, the Melton family relocated permanently to Alamance County... Wait a second, wasn't her dad supposed to be an architect? And what about her five siblings?
Posted: Fri Oct 22, 2004.   Comments (2)

Enslave New Zealand — Are you tired of "namby-pamby politicians with their bean-counting, child-smooching sweaty handshakes?" A few Australians are, so they've taken politics into their own hands and formed the Enslave New Zealand Party. If elected, members of this party promise one thing: to invade New Zealand and enslave its entire population. Their plan sounds foolproof. After all, as they point out, "New Zealand bases her defence policy on one simple fact: no one can attack New Zealand without going through Australia first. This is generally true but there is, of course, one exception…Australia." But has the Enslave New Zealand party forgotten about Frodo, Gandalf, and Aragorn? Surely they'd save New Zealand.
Posted: Mon Oct 18, 2004.   Comments (14)

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