The Hoax Museum Blog

Watching Paint Dry — UKTV has come up with the ultimate reality TV show: Watching Paint Dry. As the name suggests, viewers get to watch the thrilling spectacle of paint drying, broadcast live, 24 hours a day. And viewers can vote for their favorite paints: Matt, Gloss, Silk, Satin, etc. UKTV notes that, "Every other reality show is full of boring drips so we thought that we would go one step further." Is this real? Well, sort of. UKTV feels watching paint dry is "too boring" for TV, so it's only going to be…
Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2004.   Comments (1)

Ass-vertising — First there was head-vertising. Now there's ass-vertising, which appears to be just as real as headvertising was (which means that, as odd as it seems, it actually is real). The concept behind assvertising is pretty simple. Slap an ad on an attractive woman's ass. I guess men are looking there anyway, so some advertiser (Night Agency, to be specific) had the brilliant idea to put the ads where the eyes are focused. Even though assvertising is real, tADoos (which are corporate-sponsored…
Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2004.   Comments (0)

Second Thoughts About Rance — Yesterday I suggested that the anonymous blogger 'Rance' might really be a cartoonist/screenwriter named Keith Thomson because Thomson's name kept popping up when I tracked down who was initially hyping Rance in internet discussion groups. But people have pointed out that movie studios and talent agencies often create phony identities that they use to hype projects they're working on. Maybe the phony identities they used to hype Rance just happened to have been used earlier to hype…
Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2004.   Comments (13)

Unfortunate URLs — I posted an entry a week or so ago about unfortunate last names. On a related subject, here are some unfortunate URLs. First we have cummingfirst.com. It's the website of the Cumming First United Methodist Church located in Cumming, Georgia (via The Presurfer). It's definitely a real church and not a joke. Next we have IPWine.com, home on the web of the Ingleside Vineyards in Virginia. I actually visited the Ingleside Vineyards (it's a nice place), and when they told me their website…
Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004.   Comments (13)


Turn Your Dog Into a Sweater — Proving, yet again, that truth is stranger than fiction, I present you with VIP Fibers (I'm assuming this is real... I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be). Send VIP Fibers a bundle of your pet's fur, and they'll turn it into any knit good of your choice, except socks. As the site explains: "Many dogs and cats have a fine and lustrous undercoat so suitable for spinning. It does not, however, have the crimp or elasticity such as found in wool from a sheep, and therefore is not…
Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004.   Comments (4)

Who is Rance? — The latest buzz in the blogosphere is about the weblog of 'Rance,' an anonymous blogger who claims to be a well-known, A-list, Hollywood celebrity. Or as he coyly puts it on his weblog, "I can tell you what it's like to see your picture on the magazine rack every now and again when you pay for groceries." For a couple of months he's been dishing up dirt on life in Hollywood, and he's succeeded in attracting a huge following. He even got interviewed (anonymously) by Reuters last week.…
Posted: Tue Jun 01, 2004.   Comments (29)

Do Bakery Products Contain Human Hair? — An old article on Albalagh.net (it was new to me) describes how numerous bakery products contain an ingredient made out of human hair, and are therefore not allowed to be eaten by Muslims. The offending ingredient is the amino acid L-Cysteine, which can be made out of feathers, hooves... or yes, human hair. Back in January I linked to a story about soy sauce in China being made from human hair, so when I heard about bagels, croissants, pizza dough, etc. also containing human hair, I…
Posted: Mon May 31, 2004.   Comments (11)

Is David Hasselhoff Making a Rap Album? — Sky News has been reporting that Rapper Ice-T has decided to produce a new rap album by his LA neighbor, David Hasselhoff (of Baywatch fame). The article quotes Ice-T as saying, "He's gonna come out as Hassle the Hoff... The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour." When I read this article I got really scared, because I figured that if such a thing were to happen, it would definitely be a sign that the end was near. But thankfully it appears to be a hoax. On his…
Posted: Fri May 28, 2004.   Comments (1)

Penguin Warehouse — Can't think what to get your significant other for their next birthday? What about a penguin? As Penguin Warehouse, the internet's #1 domesticated penguin dealer, notes: "Penguins make wonderful birthday and holiday gifts all year long." Penguin Warehouse offers a variety of penguins including Emperor, King, Rockhopper, and Macaroni.
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (10)

The Teleparanormalphone — Do you ever answer the phone only to discover that there's no one on the other end... just the faint whisper of static? You could actually, without your knowledge, be receiving a call from a ghost. But how can you tell if it is a genuine 'ghost call' or just Uncle Fred up to his usual tricks? The answer: The teleparanormalphone. It's built-in electromagnetic field detector will tell you with 100% accuracy if that dead line is, in fact, a direct connection to the land of the dead.
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (1)

Hunting for Bambi Officially a Hoax — It's official. Michael Burdick, the guy behind that whole 'Hunting for Bambi' thing that turned into a media circus about a year ago (you remember, the Las Vegas company that claimed to be hosting paintball games in which you could hunt naked women), has finally admitted that the whole thing was a hoax. Not that anyone was in much doubt of that. As part of a plea bargain deal "Burdick acknowledged that claiming the paintball hunts were real was part of an advertising strategy for the…
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (1)

Hebrew Beer — Is Hebrew Beer for real? Absolutely. And it comes in two varieties: Genesis Ale and Messiah Bold. I've never seen this in my local beer store, but I'll have to look for it. When I get my hands on some I'll add a bottle of it to my rapidly growing collection of weird beers.
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (14)

Amazon Wish Lists — It turns out that quite a few famous people have wish lists on Amazon. For instance, Arnold Schwarzenegger wants a copy of Gladiator (seems appropriate). Warren Buffett, for some reason, wants a copy of his own collected essays. Based on what Bill Gates wants, he seems to be planning a hunting trip. John Kerry wants a pair of speedos (that's a scary thought). George W. Bush wants a copy of the American-English Pronunciation Dictionary. But Dick Cheney's list is by far the most touching.…
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (3)

Has Microsoft translated the Iliad into Messenger Speak? — The news that Microsoft has produced a 'messenger speak' translation of Homer's Iliad has been all over the wire services, but is it true? I thought it must be a joke when I first read it... another example of satire being treated as news. But I should have known better. It's Microsoft, after all (they're good at taking great things and making crappier versions of them... sorry, as an Apple user I couldn't resist the obvious joke). So yes, they really did do it... though they only…
Posted: Thu May 27, 2004.   Comments (1)

Crappy Dialup — If you're tired of having fast, always-on broadband service, then why not switch over to CrappyDialup.com. After all, there's no pleasure quite like that of making everyone who calls you get a busy signal. (via The Presurfer)
Posted: Wed May 26, 2004.   Comments (1)

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