PROMOTING “INTELLIGENT DESIGN”?? President Bush said Monday he believes schools should discuss “intelligent design” alongside evolution when teaching students about the creation of life.
EVIDENCE OF THE LORD’S BRILLIANT BIOENGINEERING
The Appendix: Often derided by secular scientists as unimportant, the appendix is in fact an essential feature in God’s meticulous design for humanity. The Almighty uses this organ, which He non-coincidentally sculpted in the shape of a miniature flaccid penis, to remotely inflict torturous earthly pain on all who displease Him.
Wisdom Teeth: Contrary to the preposterous notion that the human jaw bone has somehow grown incrementally smaller over the course of untold millennia, God took great pride in carefully programming our DNA to cause at least one impacted wisdom tooth in 90% of adults. He did this in order to assure a bright and promising future for another of his intelligent creations: orthodontia.
The “Tail Bone”: Though it has labored under the double indignity of TWO anti-Christian labels: the evolution-implying “tail bone” and egregiously lewd “coccyx”, this ingeniously sensitive spinal tip was installed by God specifically for occasions when your rollerskates fly out from under you while you’re doing the Hokey-Pokey