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The Truth About Santa
Posted: 29 December 2008 05:57 PM   [ Ignore ]
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Santa is a timelord.

The evidence:
Has been appearing for hundreds of years without aging.
Travels vast distances seemingly instantaneously.
Always appears at Christmas.
Uses timelord technology-a sack that clearly must be bigger on the inside than it is on the outside if he

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Remember, remember… I am the ONE.

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Posted: 29 December 2008 07:29 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Actually Santa has been around less than a hundred years. (in his current regeneration at least)

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Smerk the cutest dragon
Lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist
In Western Australi

Little Accipiter loved that girl enough
He told her jokes and crazy facts
And other forum stuff

Smerk the cutest dragon:
Traveled cross the sea,
To hunt her prey in foriegn lands,
And snuggle with Acci!

Smerk the cutest dragon
Is getting married now they say
Though little Accipiter
Has yet to name the day.

http://www.veshearman.com/

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Posted: 29 December 2008 07:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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I think Santa is more like the Dread Pirate Roberts.

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Attention to detail: An apostrophe is the difference between a company that knows its shit and a company that knows it’s shit.

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Posted: 29 December 2008 10:09 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Tah - 30 December 2008 12:40 AM

I think Santa is more like the Dread Pirate Roberts.

what he steals stuff and kills people?

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Smerk the cutest dragon
Lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist
In Western Australi

Little Accipiter loved that girl enough
He told her jokes and crazy facts
And other forum stuff

Smerk the cutest dragon:
Traveled cross the sea,
To hunt her prey in foriegn lands,
And snuggle with Acci!

Smerk the cutest dragon
Is getting married now they say
Though little Accipiter
Has yet to name the day.

http://www.veshearman.com/

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Posted: 29 December 2008 10:21 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Sharruma - 30 December 2008 03:09 AM
Tah - 30 December 2008 12:40 AM

I think Santa is more like the Dread Pirate Roberts.

what he steals stuff and kills people?

Find a successor every few years to take over for him. raspberry

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Attention to detail: An apostrophe is the difference between a company that knows its shit and a company that knows it’s shit.

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Posted: 30 December 2008 12:53 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Tah - 30 December 2008 03:21 AM
Sharruma - 30 December 2008 03:09 AM
Tah - 30 December 2008 12:40 AM

I think Santa is more like the Dread Pirate Roberts.

what he steals stuff and kills people?

Find a successor every few years to take over for him. raspberry

To take over the stealing and killing.

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“If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts.”

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Posted: 30 December 2008 01:41 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Accipiter - 30 December 2008 05:53 AM

To take over the stealing and killing.

Probably.

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Attention to detail: An apostrophe is the difference between a company that knows its shit and a company that knows it’s shit.

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Posted: 30 December 2008 04:46 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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*mutters about the Jolly Red Roof Lurker, who sneaks into your house to steal cookies…*

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1: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. If it does what it says, you should have no problem with this.
2: What proof will you accept that you are wrong? You ask us to change our mind, but we cannot change yours?
3: It is not our responsability to disprove your claims, but rather your responsability to prove them.
4. Personal testamonials are not proof.

What part of ‘meow’ don’t you understand?

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Posted: 30 December 2008 07:58 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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Santa has been resisting arrest for ages…
1) Animal Abuse
Would net let or have his pet reindeer rudolph undergo surgery or treatment for his infected red nose.
2) Breaking and entering
Numerous accounts over the world of him entering houses and then leaving
3) Robbery
After breaking in he often eats and drinks milk and cookies inside
4) Sexual harrasment
As explained by the song “I saw mommy kissing santa claus”
5) Murder
As explained when grandma was run over by reindeer
6) Copy right infringement
Numerous pirated products

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Why does spellcheck hate me?
GO HERE
Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

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Posted: 30 December 2008 11:57 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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If he sees you when you’re sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake,
He knows if you’ve been good or bad…
He’s a reconnaissance agent for the CIA

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You have selected Teh Monochrome as the computer’s default voice.

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Posted: 31 December 2008 08:20 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Teh Monochrome - 31 December 2008 04:57 AM

If he sees you when you’re sleeping, and he knows when you’re awake,
He knows if you’ve been good or bad…
He’s a reconnaissance agent for the CIA

LOL

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Research Mod

“We are wise to avoid association with those who hide their identity in Internet chat rooms.”
                                                                  - The Watchtower

The platypus is mother nature’s way of saying, “I made this thing out of spare parts I found on the workshop floor, and it can still ****ing cripple you.”

Sylvia Browne

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Posted: 01 January 2009 12:21 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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silver caliber magnum - 30 December 2008 12:58 PM

Santa has been resisting arrest for ages…
1) Animal Abuse
Would net let or have his pet reindeer rudolph undergo surgery or treatment for his infected red nose.
2) Breaking and entering
Numerous accounts over the world of him entering houses and then leaving
3) Robbery
After breaking in he often eats and drinks milk and cookies inside
4) Sexual harrasment
As explained by the song “I saw mommy kissing santa claus”
5) Murder
As explained when grandma was run over by reindeer
6) Copy right infringement
Numerous pirated products

My client Mr Clause has asked me to defend his against these spurius lies that have been said about him.

1. He has not now nor ever owned a reindeer by the name of rudolph. He own eight reindeer by the names of Donner, Blitzen, Cupid, Vixen, Comet, Dasher, Dancer and Prancer. See not one of them is called Rudolph. Rudolph is the invention of a song writer and not one of the real reindeer. If anyone is liable here I suggest you take it up with the song writer. Also note that Mr Clause looks after the reindeer he does have well and all rumours concerning his connection to the venison sandwich shop that has recently opened at the north pole are lies.

2. Breaking and entering? Show me the evidence. Show me the fingerprints, Where’s your video footage, your DNA evidence. I know you have none because there is none. Milord, I suggest this charge be struck from the record.

3. Again, where’s the evidence. If, as I have proved Mr Clause does not invade people’s homes, then how can he steal these items?
I move that the items in question could have been eaten by anyone and again request that this charge be struck from the record.

4. My learned council for the prosecution puts it so well. ‘I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause.’ Milord. Gentlepersons of the jury I move that my client Mr Clause is actually the victim in this case. There he was minding his own business asking little children what they want for christmas at the local supermarket when a strange women approached and molested him. There really is no charge here to answer.

5. Murder? Just because Santa happens to drive a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer and just because grandma was found with the hoof prints of eight different reindeer as well as the sled imprints that match the ones on Santa’s sleigh doesn’t mean he was the culprit. There must’ve been dozen of sleighs matching that description in that part of the city alone. Where is the evidence that my client is the man responsible? Where’s the camera footage, CCTV cameras are everywhere these days so show me the event. Bring forth the eye witnesses to testify. And I must furthermore ask, what was this little old lady doing on a rooftop just after midnight on the 25th anyway?

6.  Copy right infringement? Oh please. My client Mr clause holds the copyright on all the toys produced in his own toy shops. Furthermore I will produce, in this court, receipts for all the items that my client went out to buy for the children that wanted something a little special. Honestly my client is such an honest philanthropist that it makes me sad anyone would even consider him capable of some of the crimes listed here. I mean seriously this guy is as honest as the day is long. He asks for nothing in return for his selfless gestures and here he is in this court room being maligned. I ask for all charges to be dropped and furthermore that the prosecuting council be given coal in their stockings for even considering such ridiculous charges.

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Smerk the cutest dragon
Lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist
In Western Australi

Little Accipiter loved that girl enough
He told her jokes and crazy facts
And other forum stuff

Smerk the cutest dragon:
Traveled cross the sea,
To hunt her prey in foriegn lands,
And snuggle with Acci!

Smerk the cutest dragon
Is getting married now they say
Though little Accipiter
Has yet to name the day.

http://www.veshearman.com/

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