1 of 3
1
This spud’s so not for you….
Posted: 12 November 2008 11:52 PM   [ Ignore ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  9103
Joined  2008-03-02

Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
Friday, October 31, 2008
Potato
A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.

The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E;nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: “He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

“But it’s not for me to question his story.”

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people’s derri

 Signature 

“Like a crazed Nigerian wearing LifeWave Energy Patches” (Nettie, on the night she “banned” me from the MoH!)

“What fools these mortals be…”—Smaug (according to Robert Asprin)

Visit here to help my dragons grow! Thanks!

Dum vivimus, vivamus!

And oh, yeah—my blog.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 12 November 2008 11:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
Five Star Member
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  3807
Joined  2008-09-08

1. To allow the curtain’s silky fabric to caress his skin as he wrested it into place upon it’s rod?
2. Too hard. shut eye

As an aside, I don’t believe him.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 12:02 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  9103
Joined  2008-03-02

LOL
Neither do I….I just have a hard time believing his story.  I mean, seriously, who leaves potatoes on a table?  And how big was this potato that wouldn’t come out on its own?

Ew, never mind, I don’t want an answer to that…

 Signature 

“Like a crazed Nigerian wearing LifeWave Energy Patches” (Nettie, on the night she “banned” me from the MoH!)

“What fools these mortals be…”—Smaug (according to Robert Asprin)

Visit here to help my dragons grow! Thanks!

Dum vivimus, vivamus!

And oh, yeah—my blog.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 02:48 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  15029
Joined  2006-08-16
Crafty Dragon - 13 November 2008 04:52 AM

First, why would anyone be hanging curtains in the nude, anyhow?

So you have an excuse when something gets stuck up your bum while having sex games.

Duh!

Crafty Dragon - 13 November 2008 05:02 AM

And how big was this potato that wouldn’t come out on its own?

Having heard stories from people in the medical field (I lived in Vegas for eight years - I’ve heard some stories!) it doesn’t have to be overly big.  It just has to be in far enough that you can’t grab it to get it out.

sick

 Signature 

Attention to detail: An apostrophe is the difference between a company that knows its shit and a company that knows it’s shit.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 03:23 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  6930
Joined  2005-10-21

The ‘I fell on X while naked’ story is pretty much a given code phrase meaning ‘yes, it was put up there deliberately, but I’m not going to admit it, just get the damn thing out’..

Tah: What goes on in Vegas, stays in Anus?

 Signature 

1: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. If it does what it says, you should have no problem with this.
2: What proof will you accept that you are wrong? You ask us to change our mind, but we cannot change yours?
3: It is not our responsability to disprove your claims, but rather your responsability to prove them.
4. Personal testamonials are not proof.

What part of ‘meow’ don’t you understand?

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 05:07 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
Administrator
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  26370
Joined  2004-11-29

Of course, you can always have a look at this list over on Weird Universe for strange things that have been removed from peoples backsides…

 Signature 

Remember, a Dragon is for life!

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 11:28 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
Senior Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  476
Joined  2008-09-11

One of the guys on my high school football team ended up with a travel size shampoo bottle in his bum.  They had won a game on the road, and were all rough housing in the shower, and…there you go.

 Signature 

To know that we know what we know, and to know that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge.  -copernicus

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 11:32 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  22747
Joined  2006-03-29

Naked guys roughhousing in the shower, I don’t want to know about that.  Especially when shampoo bottles become lodged where they shouldn’t be.  shut eye

 Signature 

Remember, remember… I am the ONE.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 01:00 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  61098
Joined  2005-04-14
Berlynprime - 13 November 2008 04:38 PM

Wouldn’t it… um… eventually… pass? I mean if it was given time?

In theory, yes.  But the muscles involved there aren’t all that strong and could take a long, long time to do that.  And having that opening completely blocked up for a week or two or even longer would get to be rather. . .problematic.

 Signature 

“If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts.”

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 03:55 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  6930
Joined  2005-10-21

Plus if things turn sideways, it can be bad. Additionally, if there’s any edges that are sharp and hard enough, they *can* puncture the colon, which is nigh-fatal due to the amount of blood vessels in there. ‘Died gushing blood out the anus’ is NOT something you want on your tombstone.

 Signature 

1: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. If it does what it says, you should have no problem with this.
2: What proof will you accept that you are wrong? You ask us to change our mind, but we cannot change yours?
3: It is not our responsability to disprove your claims, but rather your responsability to prove them.
4. Personal testamonials are not proof.

What part of ‘meow’ don’t you understand?

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 03:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  22747
Joined  2006-03-29
Robin Bobcat - 13 November 2008 08:55 PM

Plus if things turn sideways, it can be bad. Additionally, if there’s any edges that are sharp and hard enough, they *can* puncture the colon, which is nigh-fatal due to the amount of blood vessels in there. ‘Died gushing blood out the anus’ is NOT something you want on your tombstone.

You seem pretty knowledgeable in this subject.

 Signature 

Remember, remember… I am the ONE.

Profile
 
 
Posted: 13 November 2008 04:03 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
Five Star Member
Avatar
RankRankRankRankRank
Total Posts:  6930
Joined  2005-10-21

There is a great deal of things I know that, believe me, I don’t *want* to know. The damn things have a habit of hiding behind my high school civics lessons and refusing to come out, even when bribed with conversational trivia.

 Signature 

1: Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. If it does what it says, you should have no problem with this.
2: What proof will you accept that you are wrong? You ask us to change our mind, but we cannot change yours?
3: It is not our responsability to disprove your claims, but rather your responsability to prove them.
4. Personal testamonials are not proof.

What part of ‘meow’ don’t you understand?

Profile
 
 
   
1 of 3
1