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A day in the life of a dog/cat.
Posted: 18 October 2008 06:49 PM   [ Ignore ]
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Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary;


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary;


Day 983 of my captivity…
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.  Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow—but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.  For now….............

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Posted: 19 October 2008 03:45 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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I think the cat was watching rambo as a kitten

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Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

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Posted: 19 October 2008 10:51 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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someone’s been spying in my house…..............  okay, where are the d__n cameras????????

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UBUNTU’ in the Xhosa culture means: ‘I am because we are.)”  So, I AM because WE are

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Posted: 19 October 2008 11:35 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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Too Funny! LOL

A little something the cat probably thinks about the piggies….

“And the piggies are the perfect alarm system. Every time I make a break toward one of the entrances, they make such a clamour that I must give up the attempt!  Grrr.  Someday they will forget and leave the cell door open and then they will pay!”

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To the believer no proof is required; to the skeptic no proof is sufficient.

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Posted: 19 October 2008 12:17 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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DavePrime - 19 October 2008 03:35 PM

Too Funny! LOL

A little something the cat probably thinks about the piggies….

“And the piggies are the perfect alarm system. Every time I make a break toward one of the entrances, they make such a clamour that I must give up the attempt!  Grrr.  Someday they will forget and leave the cell door open and then they will pay!”

LOL LOL LOL

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The platypus is mother nature’s way of saying, “I made this thing out of spare parts I found on the workshop floor, and it can still ****ing cripple you.”

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Posted: 20 October 2008 04:56 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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hulitoons - 19 October 2008 02:51 PM

someone’s been spying in my house…..............  okay, where are the d__n cameras????????

To the left of your living room, and the last door to your left in the hall

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Why does spellcheck hate me?
GO HERE
Those who wish to fight, must now about eternal might. The blue skies turn red, Maybe it’s time you fled? Why wait for the army to strike when you know you don’t need to fight? Aren’t I right? The flower will bloom, and after the blue skies turn red, out comes your doom.
GO HERE….or else…My pets wont grow

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Posted: 20 October 2008 06:39 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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silver caliber magnum - 20 October 2008 08:56 AM

To the left of your living room, and the last door to your left in the hall

SHHH!

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“We are wise to avoid association with those who hide their identity in Internet chat rooms.”
                                                                  - The Watchtower

The platypus is mother nature’s way of saying, “I made this thing out of spare parts I found on the workshop floor, and it can still ****ing cripple you.”

Sylvia Browne

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Posted: 22 October 2008 05:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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LOL  This is hilarious! MAde my stone faced mom laugh, and that alone was worth it.

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“The closer you get to darkness, the darker your shadow becomes.”

In my opinion, the greatest pleasure in life is doing what someone else said you couldn’t do.

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