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A Dog’s List
Posted: 27 August 2008 02:53 PM   [ Ignore ]
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Here’s a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.


1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they eat it or after they throw it up.


2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.


3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.


4. The sofa is not a ‘face towel’.


5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.


6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.


7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.


8. I don’t need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m under the coffee table.


9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.


10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.


11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.


12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a good thing.

What the Dog ponders:

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.  What do humans understand?

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Posted: 27 August 2008 03:57 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Bebelicious - 27 August 2008 06:53 PM

7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.

It’s not? Dammit!
red face

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

*sigh*
I’m not allowed to do any of the fun stuff…
downer

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Posted: 27 August 2008 04:26 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Madmouse - 27 August 2008 07:57 PM
Bebelicious - 27 August 2008 06:53 PM

7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.

It’s not? Dammit!
red face

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

*sigh*
I’m not allowed to do any of the fun stuff…
downer

Those only apply to dogs, Madmouse.  I’m sure that for you it’s all fit and proper.

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Posted: 27 August 2008 04:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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#11 applies. You know it does.

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Posted: 27 August 2008 05:10 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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DJ_Canada - 27 August 2008 08:40 PM

#11 applies. You know it does.

DJ, do you really want to be the person to stand between Madmouse and the goals of her strange behaviours?

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Posted: 27 August 2008 05:12 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Madmouse - 27 August 2008 07:57 PM
Bebelicious - 27 August 2008 06:53 PM

7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.

It’s not? Dammit!
red face

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

*sigh*
I’m not allowed to do any of the fun stuff…
downer

We’ll make an exception for you smile

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Little Accipiter loved that girl enough
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And snuggle with Acci!

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Is getting married now they say
Though little Accipiter
Has yet to name the day.

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Posted: 27 August 2008 05:13 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Of course, some of the other people in this Forum might pester you to teach them your techniques.

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Posted: 28 August 2008 02:45 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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* sticks his nose into MadMouse’s crotch, then let her lick his *

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———
The Kruger-Dunning effect is rampant on internet fora.
J. Kruger & D. Dunning (1999), Unskilled and unaware of it: how difficulties in recognizing one’s own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. J Pers Soc Psychol. 77, 1121-1134

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Posted: 28 August 2008 03:20 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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* continues with doggy-like actions… *

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———
The Kruger-Dunning effect is rampant on internet fora.
J. Kruger & D. Dunning (1999), Unskilled and unaware of it: how difficulties in recognizing one’s own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. J Pers Soc Psychol. 77, 1121-1134

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Posted: 28 August 2008 07:27 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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LaMa - 28 August 2008 07:20 AM

* continues with doggy-like actions… *

LaMa!  Stop eating vomit!  Bad LaMa!

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“If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts.”

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Posted: 29 August 2008 10:25 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Madmouse - 27 August 2008 07:57 PM
Bebelicious - 27 August 2008 06:53 PM

7. Sticking my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of saying ‘hello’.

It’s not? Dammit!
red face

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

*sigh*
I’m not allowed to do any of the fun stuff…
downer

Run away with me please…

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Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. - John Lennon
You can twist perceptions, reality won’t budge. - Rush

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Posted: 30 August 2008 04:27 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Accipiter - 28 August 2008 11:27 PM
LaMa - 28 August 2008 07:20 AM

* continues with doggy-like actions… *

LaMa!  Stop eating vomit!  Bad LaMa!


* raises his hind leg in the direction of Acci…. *

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———
The Kruger-Dunning effect is rampant on internet fora.
J. Kruger & D. Dunning (1999), Unskilled and unaware of it: how difficulties in recognizing one’s own incompetence lead to inflated self-assessments. J Pers Soc Psychol. 77, 1121-1134

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