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Slightly scewed History Lesson
Posted: 18 July 2008 12:08 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 12 ]
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In 1912, Hellmann

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Posted: 18 July 2008 12:12 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 13 ]
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Tobester - 18 July 2008 04:08 PM

In 1912, Hellmann

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“Like a crazed Nigerian wearing LifeWave Energy Patches” (Nettie, on the night she “banned” me from the MoH!)

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Posted: 18 July 2008 12:34 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 14 ]
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Yeah, that was pretty good! LOL

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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

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Posted: 19 July 2008 03:12 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 15 ]
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Before battle, the Highland Scots would sometimes strip off all their clothing and then attack with such recklessness that their opponents often thought them mentally deranged.  Thus, people who acted abnormally became known as “off kilters”.

* * * * *

August in the year 1490 was unusually hot and humid in Rome.  Pope Innocent VIII had been badly ill the month before, and that combined with the current weather left him feeling very light-headed.  All the same, he was determined to preside over the church services that coincided with his own birthday that month.

He was already rather unsteady and confused when he started mass, but with the oppressive heat he became more and more disoriented.  Apparently due to his having earlier that morning been involved with negotiations regarding the succession of England’s Henry VII, the Pope gradually started muttering his sermon in English.  Worse yet, he was slightly dyslexic.  Usually he had enough presence of mind to overcome that, but on this day his dyslexia got the better of him.  In reciting Psalm 95, he announced to the congregation, “For the Lord is a great Dog!”.

This naturally caused much consternation and amusement in Rome.  After that, people started referring to such hot, stifling, stagnant Summer days as “dog days”.

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Posted: 19 July 2008 03:23 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 16 ]
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In the 15th Century, as is still the case today, unmarried young ladies would occasionally find themselves pregnant under socially-embarrassing circumstances.  In Hampshire, England, it became common practice to take the newborns out to the Convent of St. Dympna, far out in the oak forest.

After dark, the nuns locked the front gates until sunrise.  Children brought after hours were typically left on the front step.

Sometimes the children were old enough to crawl around a bit, though, and if sufficient care wasn’t taken to restrain them they might wander off from the front of the convent and into the woods.

The oak forests of Hampshire were famed for their population of pigs, which throve on the abundance of acorns.  With such an abundance of food for most of the year, the pigs were generally very peaceful and easy-going.  There are even a number of recorded cases where a mother sow adopted and cared for one of the abandoned babies who had wandered from the convent.

Some of these children grew up and rejoined human society.  Having been raised in the wild by pigs, however, they usually didn’t get along well with other people.  They tended to babble incomprehensibly, and to be totally ignorant of all etiquette and social rules.  Most of them also retained their pig-related habit of rooting around under oaks looking for nuts.  Thus, such people became known as “nutters”, and the term has lasted to this day and age to describe people with similar mannerisms.

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