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Slightly scewed History Lesson
Posted: 17 July 2008 06:39 AM   [ Ignore ]
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The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature
Isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the1500s:


Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled
Pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of
Flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet
when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of
The nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.
Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water..

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw, piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only
Place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in
The roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall
Off the roof. Hence the saying, It’s raining cats and dogs.

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the
Bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed
With big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.
That’s how canopy beds Came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying,
Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet,
So they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on,
They added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside.
A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying - a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren’t you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung
Over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot.
They ate mostly vegetables And did Not get much meat.
They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the Pot to get
Cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it
That had been There for quite a while. Hence the rhyme,
‘Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, Peas porridge
In the pot, nine days old’..

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors
Came over, They would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth
That a man could, Bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share
With guests and would all sit Around and chew the fat..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused
Some of the lead to leach into the food, causing lead poisoning death.
This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so,
tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf,
The family Got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock
The imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them
For dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple
Of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they
Would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people.
So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the
Grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch
Marks
On the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie
A string
On the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and
tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift)
To listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,
Saved by the bell or was considered a ..dead ringer..

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Space…..it seems to go on and on forever, but then you get to the end and the gorrilla starts throwing barrels at you. - Phlip J. Fry

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Posted: 17 July 2008 11:01 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Argh!! So.much.wrong.with.this.article.I.don’t.have.time.to.analyze!

There actually was a time period known as the 1500s (aka: the 16th century), and that might be about the only correct bit of info listed here.  raspberry

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Heaven must be really boring, if you think about it logically.
All the angels must be snoring.  Who could stand perfection for eternity?

Not me. - George Hrab

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Posted: 17 July 2008 11:28 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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It’s a joke.

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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

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Posted: 17 July 2008 11:29 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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I believe it is true, yeah.

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Posted: 17 July 2008 11:39 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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MadCarlotta - 17 July 2008 03:28 PM

It’s a joke.

I know, but it’s still so annoying because most people probably wouldn’t take it that way.  I could see this being passed around our office as pure fact, and so could you.  raspberry

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Heaven must be really boring, if you think about it logically.
All the angels must be snoring.  Who could stand perfection for eternity?

Not me. - George Hrab

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Posted: 17 July 2008 11:40 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Yeah, my father will probably email it to me at some point too. smile

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Posted: 17 July 2008 04:21 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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MadCarlotta - 17 July 2008 03:40 PM

Yeah, my father will probably email it to me at some point too. smile

Should we make up some more, then, just to give him something else to send you?  wink

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“If any man wish to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts.”

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Posted: 17 July 2008 04:26 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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Yes please, and make sure there is a religious or moral lesson to be had from it all as well.

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There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

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Posted: 17 July 2008 04:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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MadCarlotta - 17 July 2008 08:26 PM

Yes please, and make sure there is a religious or moral lesson to be had from it all as well.

“The Evils and sinfulness of chastity, humility, and moderation”, perhaps?

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Posted: 17 July 2008 05:06 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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The wake is may be older than the 1500’s because it was sometimes to tell if someone was dead or just comatose without the tests we have today.  So they sat with the body for a while to see if the person was really dead

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Posted: 17 July 2008 06:00 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Charybdis - 17 July 2008 03:39 PM
MadCarlotta - 17 July 2008 03:28 PM

It’s a joke.

I know, but it’s still so annoying because most people probably wouldn’t take it that way.  I could see this being passed around our office as pure fact, and so could you.  raspberry

Yeah, but I knew I could trust this crowd to get it.

But I know what you mean.

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Space…..it seems to go on and on forever, but then you get to the end and the gorrilla starts throwing barrels at you. - Phlip J. Fry

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Posted: 17 July 2008 07:41 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Castles where full of mangy Dogs in thoes days, eatting up scraps of food during a banquet. Sometimes, the dogs would fight over the scraps, and in doing so, would often knock over candles, cuase them to fall on the pooches. The servants would then have to dump bath water onto the now, on fire dogs, which led to the term “Putting out the dog”.

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