Nobody except me knows about this horrible conspiracy!!!! You won’t believe me but that it because you are in cahoots with the evil arachnid overlords!!!1!
Look, I have proof* -
When Nasa abruptly scrubbed the planned launch of the space shuttle Atlantis on Sunday, postponing any launch until January at the earliest, the official line blamed a recurring fault in the fuel sensors as the reason for the cancellation.
However, footage of that day - from Nasa’s own cameras - reveals the real reason the launch has been delayed. It’s because the shuttle has been attacked by a giant alien spider beast:
No Nasa spokesperson has yet commented on the massive intergalactic arachnid’s attempt to eat Atlantis - but experts viewing the footage suggest that it is a clear indicator that the Earth is about to be plunged into an all-out space war with a race of 150ft-long demonic spiders who live on rocket fuel.
See? Now you all know that I am right and you are all wrong!
*‘Proof’ may not constitute real proof