Well, since all hoaxes are, by definition, a fabrication on someone’s part, and it has been a while since we had a good one, I decided to invent one all by myself.
Thus, there will be no link to it, as this is the original posting, worldwide.
Before we begin, I have noticed that any string that has the world ‘Bible’ in it attracts lots of comments, as does anything about Paris Hilton, bless her heart. And psychics are always good for getting noticed, too; hence, my hoax’s title and theme.
I hope I am covering all the bases!
Unfortunately (for me), I have not figured out how to make money off this; I think I should have gotten copper bracelets or some kind of God-inspired weight-loss supplement involved, or sell some pamphlet that enlightens the faithful to the deeper meanings that can be found in The Bible if only one knows where to look.
Okay, anyway, we got all that out of the way, here it is:
A California psychic (guess who?) has found Bible verses that clearly predict the jailing of Paris Hilton.
“While thumbing through The Book Of Revelations a few nights ago, I came upon a passage so striking and prescient, I nearly spilled my cup of Green Tea. Dumfounded, I shook and trembled for what seemed like hours, but in reality was maybe perhaps just a few seconds. I stared at the flames in my fireplace, they seemed to say, ‘Re-read and believe…......re-read and believe, for it is I, your Lord and Master, Who doth speaketh to you.’ “
“Needless to say, immediately I put down my tea cup and re-opened my Bible, and lo, it opened to exactly the page I had been reading, and a stray tea-leaf marked the beginning of the passage.
“I shook so mightily I could barely re-read as instructed, but somehow, I managed. Here it is: from The Book Of Revelations, Verse 17, Pp3 - 6:
The Woman on the Beast
3: Then the angel carried away in the Spirit into a desert. There I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was covered with blasphemous names and had seven heads and ten horns. [This is where I first thought of Paris Hilton, the horny cretin that she is.]
4 The woman was dressed in purple and scarlet, and was glittering with gold, prescious stones, and perals. [Now I knew He was referring to Miss PH.] She held a golden cup in her hand [representing her spoiled life ? ] filled with abominable things and the filth of her adulteries [Truly The Lord is speaking of her, the tramp, and the cup is filled with her own greivous sins!]
5 This title was written on her forehead:
Babylon The Great
The Mother Of Prostitutes
And The Abominations Of The Earth
[I imagine the writing must have been very small, to match the purity of her soul.]
6 I saw that the woman was drunk with the blood of the saints, the blood of those who bore testimoney to Jesus. [I am sure at this point it is Paris Hilton, on her way to jail.]
(end of Bible verse)
“Now, could that be more clear? Her appearance in court, her sins held out for all to see, she is labelled for what she is, and off she goes to be with her own kind and see for herself what her wickedness brings to others.
Is there a believer among us who does not see what is clearly written, accurately foretelling her jail-time nearly 2,000 years ago?
Dan, hoping to find a passage in the Bible that will enlighten Bebe and cause her to see my many charms