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The Girl With No Limbs
Posted: 24 October 2005 06:55 PM   [ Ignore ]
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I didn’t see this one posted anywhere but then again I’m a tad intoxicated and didn’t search all THAT well.


One day a man was walking along the beach when he saw a girl with no arms and no legs laying in the sand, and she was crying.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, to which she replied “I’ve never been hugged before!”.
So he picked her up and gave her a big hug, but then she started crying again,
“What’s wrong now?” the man asked, “I’ve never been kissed before!”.
So he dipped her (although akward to do as she had no legs to balance on) and gave her a deep passionate kiss.
But she started crying a third time
“What’s wrong THIS time?” he asked, beginning to get a bit irritated, and she said “I’ve never been F*CKED before”
To this the man looked surprised but shrugged, turned around, walked out into the water and threw her out into the ocean.

The End

And the moral of the story you ask?
Be more specific when you say things.

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“No point mentioning those bats, I thought. The poor bastard will see them soon enough.”
When humanity forgets the importance of art, art will forget that humanity exists… - Me / 2004

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Posted: 25 October 2005 01:57 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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Ah, paraplegic jokes! I’m sure someone has posted these already somewhere on the site (maybe in the old forum). But here goes again:

Q: What do you call a paraplegic in a swimming pool?
A: Bob.

Q: What do you call a paraplegic in a pile of leaves?
A: Russell.

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Posted: 25 October 2005 02:00 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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LOL Alex.  You’ve made me very ashamed of myself for laughing at those jokes.

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Remember, a Dragon is for life!

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Posted: 25 October 2005 02:21 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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What do you call a paraplegic on your doorstep?
Matt

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Fads they come and fads they go, but god I love that Rock & Roll!
-Modest Mouse

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Posted: 25 October 2005 05:18 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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The version i heard was she said she had never been screwed.
so after he threw her in, he said: now you’re screwed!

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Posted: 25 October 2005 05:24 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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LOL
I’m a bad, bad person.
Because I’m laughing so hard.

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“Herbal medicine’s been around for thousands of years! Indeed it has. And then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became medicine. And the rest of it’s just a nice bowl of soup and some pot pourri.” - Dara O’Briain

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Posted: 25 October 2005 06:58 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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LOL

I laugh without feeling guilty smile

But now I feel guilty for not feeling so.

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If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

You don’t deserve them at their best.

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Posted: 25 October 2005 12:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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Q:  What do you call a paraplegic towed behind your boat?
A:  Skip.

Q:  What do you call a paraplegic dog?
A:  Nothing.  He couldn’t come anyway.

I hope that this doesn’t turn into Helen Keller jokes….

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Posted: 25 October 2005 12:52 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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Q: How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her when she was bad?
A: They trampled all over her text books with golf shoes on.

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Heaven must be really boring, if you think about it logically.
All the angels must be snoring.  Who could stand perfection for eternity?

Not me. - George Hrab

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Posted: 25 October 2005 12:57 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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Q: What is Helen Keller’s favorite color?
A: Corduroy

Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A. she needs the other to moan with.

Q: Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she was a woman

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Heaven must be really boring, if you think about it logically.
All the angels must be snoring.  Who could stand perfection for eternity?

Not me. - George Hrab

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Posted: 25 October 2005 01:57 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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what do you call a dog with no limbs?

doesnt matter it cant come anyway.

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Posted: 25 October 2005 09:06 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Charybdis - 25 October 2005 04:57 PM

Q: Why couldn’t Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she was a woman


What??? could someone explain, please?

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