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Applying for a Job at the CIA
Posted: 04 August 2005 02:23 PM   [ Ignore ]
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A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position.  After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

  The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances,” they explained. “Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair.  Take this gun and kill her.”  The man looked horrified and said, “You can’t be serious!  I could never shoot my wife!”  “Well,” said the CIA man, “you’re definitely not the right man for this job then.”

  So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances,” they explained to the second man.  “Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair.  Take this gun and kill her.”  The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened.  The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes.  “I tried to shoot her; I just couldn’t pull the trigger and shoot my wife.  I guess I’m not the right man for the job.”

  “No,” the CIA man replied, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

  Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun.  “We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test.  Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him.” The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots.  Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls.  This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet. 

  The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman.  She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks.  I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!”

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Posted: 04 August 2005 02:25 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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HAHAHA.  I love that joke.

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I’m loving the puppies.

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Posted: 04 December 2005 01:59 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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this is why u do not make enemies with woman.  cool smile

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Posted: 04 December 2005 03:57 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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No, this is why I make my wife sit on the floor! wink

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Posted: 15 December 2005 01:21 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Becareful of what you say David. I might just decide to beat you to death with a chair. I’ve done worse things with a Visa than you could immagine. And I dont just mean that I maxed out my limit…

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A very wise woman once said, marriage is like a deck of cards.
You need a heart to love him,
A diamond to marry him,
A club to smash his fucking head in,
And a spade to bury the bastard.

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Posted: 15 December 2005 08:44 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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go carmen u tell him

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Posted: 18 December 2005 02:47 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Reminds me of my grade 3 teacher.

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Auxilium meum a Domino

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
He leadeth me beside the still waters
He restoreth my soul

He leadeth me
in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake
Yea, though I wal through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil, for thou art with me
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me

Thou preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies

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Posted: 18 December 2005 09:58 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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euro - 18 December 2005 07:47 AM

Reminds me of my grade 3 teacher.

Based on most of your posts, I’m guessing that’s a pretty recent memory.

Sorry no offense intended, but this IS the joke thread, and I couldn’t help myself. cheese

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Space…..it seems to go on and on forever, but then you get to the end and the gorrilla starts throwing barrels at you. - Phlip J. Fry

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Posted: 18 December 2005 06:39 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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Alright, I lied. It was my first grade teacher. I’m not old enough to be in grade 3. big surprise

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Auxilium meum a Domino

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures
He leadeth me beside the still waters
He restoreth my soul

He leadeth me
in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake
Yea, though I wal through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil, for thou art with me
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me

Thou preparest a table before me
in the presence of mine enemies

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