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Woohoo! I won a million Euros!
Posted: 14 February 2007 02:33 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 45 ]
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I just checked the numbers on a REAL lottery ticket I bought…

I matched 1 number out of five and the mega ball which is the combination for winning US$3.00…

...why do I not feel like a winner?

*remembers the quote from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory*


Grandpa George: There’s plenty of money out there. They print more of it every day. But that ticket? There are only five of them in the world, and that’s all there’s ever going to be. Only a dummy would give this up for something as common as money. Are you a dummy?

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Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. - John Lennon
You can twist perceptions, reality won’t budge. - Rush

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Posted: 17 February 2007 01:56 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 46 ]
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Nigerian scam mail:

Attn:Sir,
Please i am sorry to bore you with this my mail,i want you to go through it because i need your help.My name is Mrs.Zenab Bahr,I am an iraqian from Kurdish tribe. I contact you for an assistance due to the increasing sectarian violence and sucide bombing in my country everyday,me and my family have fled for our dear lives to Asia country,Thailand.There has not been peace since late saddam’s government fall and everything came to worst after his execution including his half brother and others,It is not just the constant explosions and gunfires or the sucide bombers but the violence has infected all aspect of our living.Business have been limited,the opening hours is at ones risk for fear they will be kidnapped or killed in sucide bombing.Many people stay at home for days too frightened to leave their homes to find something for the children,Parents also stop their children from school because when they go,they find playgrounds divided by Shittes and Sunni gangs,many have even changed their names,because of all these,my husband’s whereabout is still unkown till date i have tried all i can looking for him in the hospitals and everywhere i can reach but all efforts proved abortive, people sustained a serious injury or lose their lifes when they go out to the city for one thing or the other,Then I decide to ran away for our dear lives to Thailand with the help of United Nation humanitarian aids from egypt,I am here with my only surviving son Jafin.Please Sir,my husband deposited certain amount of money with a company in Bangkok-thailand and this company is a private security firm,he came to visit bangkok last year then he deposited this money with the company,because of this and the above reasons we came to thailand and i want my son to use the money to start business of any type you will suggest for us,so i am looking for a reliable person that will be very sincere and kind to assist us remove this money and help us in investing it in good business because me or him Jafin has no business expirence,so this is my reason of contacting you.
The money as i am writing you now is with the security company and my husband did not disclose to them that there was money in the luggage he deposited with them.i want to inform you that we stay in Bangkok under the protection of {UN} because the people that brought us here told us to stay under their protection till we can find our way though the humanitarians wasn’t awear we have money kept here,so help us keep this as a secret please. 
 
I discussed with my son that we will offer our assistant 15% of the total amount if he will be of good help to us,so we will offer you 15% of the whole money.We want you to help us secure this fund to be out of this country Thailand because we have no proper document to claim this money and we want you to assist us please.This will not exceed more than 2 to 3 working days to bring the money out from the company and thereafter,we will discuss on how to invest the money though we have concluded that you will play the part of our father depending on your advice since you are more business inclined.
Please I will be very glad to receive your responce quickly because I don’t want him,{Jafin} to stay ideal doing nothing while there’s enough money his father kept that can start good life for his better future.,thank you for making out time to read this mail.Ask me questions if you have any,and please include your mobile phone number in your reply so that we can have a direct talk.

Due to my unstable health,my Son Jafin may respond to your mails or calls some times because I do frequent hospital for check ups about my health please.The total amount deposited is {Two Million,Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars in Hundred notes denomination {$usd2.5}.

My Warmest Regards to you.
I am Mrs.Zenab Bahr.

Well, I’ve never been asked to ‘play the part of [anyone’s] father’ before…

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Posted: 17 February 2007 11:07 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 47 ]
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Hmmm…. you might need to do something like taping your boobs down first Boo LOL

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Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. - John Lennon
You can twist perceptions, reality won’t budge. - Rush

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Posted: 17 February 2007 11:09 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 48 ]
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Short and sweet!  But only a 5% share of $4.5 million.

DEAREST ONE
I AM MISS RITA EVANS FROM IVORY COAST AND I AM CONTACTING YOU BECAUSE I NEED YOUR HELP IN THE MANAGEMENT OF A SUM OF MONEY THAT MY LATE FATHER LEFT FOR ME BEFORE HE DIED.THIS MONEY IS USD 4.5MILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS AND THE MONEY WAS KEPT IN THE BANK HERE IN ABIDJAN.
MY FATHER WAS A VERY RICH COCOA FARMER AND HE WAS POISONED BY HIS BUSINESS COLLEAGUES AND NOW I WANT YOU TO STAND AS MY GUIDIAN AND APPOINTED BENEFICIARY AND RECEIVE THE MONEY IN YOUR COUNTRY SINCE I AM ONLY 20 YEARS AND WITHOUT PARENTS.
PLEASE I WILL LIKE YOU TO REPLY TO THIS EMAIL .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  SO THAT I WILL TELL GIVE ALL THE INFORMATION. SO THAT THIS MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO YOUR ACCOUNT SO THAT YOU WILL GET ME PAPERS TO COME TO YOUR COUNTRY TO CONTINUE MY EDUCATION THERE.
I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 5% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS COMPERSATION.
CONSIDER THIS AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU
BEST REGARD
RITA

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Posted: 18 February 2007 01:49 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 49 ]
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And a share of $10 million.

Dear Sir/Ma,   

I am Dr Daye Mike, I need your services in a confidential matter regarding money Mr Arthur Phua deposited{US$10million dollars} in our bank, so this requires a private arrangement, hence the need to contact you, my customer, his wife and their two children were involved in auto-crash along the ever busy Sagumu-Ibadan High Way,unfornately lost their lives .

You will receive these funds under legal claims,all legal documents will be carefully worked out to ensure a risky free transfer. I am willing to pay a generous management fee as well as appreciation for fewer questions asked.

The Bank has published several Notice for the Next of Kin of the deceased to apply for collection of this Funds or have the account confiscated within a shot Period of time.Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives of the deceased for over 2 years now ,I seek your consent to present you as the Next of kin

I have all the details. All correspondences will be via email, for now. The funds in question are quite large. I will expect a straight answer from you by contacting me with your full name and telephone information , then lets work out the modalities as soon as the funds hits your bank acconut the i will come over to your conutry for investment idea then, we can share the total funds 60% for me 30% for you 10% will be for any expencs done in the cause of the transfer..please reply immedaitely with this{Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)}

Thanks and God bless you.
With best regard,
Dr Daye Mike.
Senior Accountant in my Bank and Accounting officer to Mr.Arthur Phua

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Posted: 20 February 2007 05:39 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 50 ]
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Well, this one came with a picture of Nelson Mandela…

Congratulations from the Staff & Members of the   (Mrs. Vero Mark)
National Lottery Board Commission      
CHARITIES LOTTERY PROMOTIONS
Headquarter, Regional Center Charities Lottery,
Furness Gate, Furness Business Park,
east gate, South Africa.

REF NO: CLP/ 24-FB-426253
BATCH: 42/450002/CLP


PRIZE AND AWARD NOTIFICATION

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement the end of the year
winners of the computer ballot MEGA JACKPOT LOTTO WINNINGS PROGRAMS held on January, 2007. Your company or your personal e-mail address, is attached to Ticket Number 644-701-836-872, with serial number 64483-72 drew the lucky Winning Numbers 06-14-17-28-30-41, and consequently won the lottery in the 2nd category.

You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of
$1,000,000.00 dollars in cash credited to file REF NO: CLP/
24-FB-426253. This is from total prize money of $3,000,000.00 dollars shared among the Three winners (3) international winners in this category.

To claim your winning prize, you must first contact the claims
department by email or phone for processing and remittance of your
prize money to you.Your claims officer contact details bellow:

File Processing Officer
Mr. TERRY GAMBO,
CHARITIES LOTTERY PROMOTIONS
SOUTH AFRICA.
Email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)
Tel: +27 7311 64135.

NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please
remember to quote your reference and batch numbers in all
correspondences
with this office. Furthermore, should there be any change of your
address, do inform us as soon as possible.

For the quick processing of your claims, you are required to forward
the following details via email to the File Processing Officer Mr. Terry Gambo, CHARITIES LOTTERY PROMOTIONS to help facilitate the processing of your certificate which will employ the release of your winnings.

[FULL NAME OF WINNER]..................................................

[NATIONALITY]............................................................... .....
REF NO ]............................................................................
BATCH NO]......................................................................

[PRESENT
LOCATION]......................................................

[DATE OF
BIRTH]................../.................../.....................

[SEX].............................................................................

[OCCUPATION]................................................................

[WINNING
EMAIL].............................................................

[TEL &
FAX].....................................................................

It is expected that you would forward this information to the File
Processing Officer as soon as possible to enable him attend to your
winnings. Once he confirms your information, your payments would be
processed.
Congratulations again from all our staff for being part of our
promotions program.

Sincerely,
Vero Mark (Mrs.)
Email:veromark_veromark@yahoo.com
(PROMOTIONAL DIRECTOR.)
CHARITIES LOTTERY PROMOTIONS.
Copyright 2007 Charities Lottery Inc.
                           

—外国货也超便宜!
—http://sms.eyou.com
—无忧二二族、足球大富翁...尽在亿邮短信

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Posted: 20 February 2007 05:40 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 51 ]
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And one in French!  For $10.5 million.

De:Avocats Alex Harley
(Avocats-Conseils et Avocats)
56 Rue Boulevard Djankasse
B.P. 50214 Lome-Togo.
Contact: email alternative/harlexley@hotmail.com



Mon Cher   K***,


Car il peut vous int

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Posted: 20 February 2007 01:36 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 52 ]
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Why don’t I ever get any scams sent to me… Spose its a good thing smile What do you guys sign up to?

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If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

You don’t deserve them at their best.

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Posted: 20 February 2007 01:41 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 53 ]
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In my case, I never had any nigerian scams or lottery scams until I posted my CV on monster.co.uk
DO NOT use that site if you’re looking for a job. They’ve been less than useless in actually helping me, and now I get five or six of these scams per day.

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“Herbal medicine’s been around for thousands of years! Indeed it has. And then we tested it all, and the stuff that worked became medicine. And the rest of it’s just a nice bowl of soup and some pot pourri.” - Dara O’Briain

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Posted: 20 February 2007 04:11 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 54 ]
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eep. That’s a bit bad.

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Posted: 20 February 2007 04:32 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 55 ]
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monster.ca is pretty useless too. So was monster.com when I lived in NYC.

I never get scam mail either. Well, maybe I do, i just don’t open my spam usually.

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