I’ll let you in on a little secret: the French don’t really speak French. They just pretend. After all, who’d want to spend their lives speaking a language where you speak half the words through your nose and half the letters are silent? They all really go around speaking English or German or Spanish, and only pretend to speak French when foreigners are around. And since they don’t usually speak French, they’re rather bad at speaking it when they pretend to.