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A panda bear walks into a bar ...
Posted: 06 October 2011 06:23 AM   [ Ignore ]
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A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich.
The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop.

The panda bear asks, “What do you want?”
The bartender replies, “First you come in here, order food, kill my waiter, then try to go without paying for your food.”
The panda bear turns around and says, “Hey! I’m a Panda. Look it up!”
The bartender goes into the back room and looks up panda bear in the encyclopedia, which read:

    “Panda: a bear-like marsupial originating in Asian regions. Known largely for it’s stark black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”

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Posted: 06 October 2011 08:06 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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shut eye How much can a Panda bear?

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Posted: 06 October 2011 10:57 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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Lynne Truss

Great joke, and featured (obviously) in the hilarious book “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” by Lynne Truss.

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Posted: 07 October 2011 07:29 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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A panda’s not a marsupial…

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Posted: 07 October 2011 09:40 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Nitpicker…. lol.

( pandas don’t speak English either…. ( or any other human language, far as I know)

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Posted: 07 October 2011 11:14 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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Madmouse - 07 October 2011 07:29 AM

A panda’s not a marsupial…

If it makes you feel better, when I first heard this joke (when I was about 12) it was with a koala, not a panda. wink

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Posted: 08 October 2011 12:13 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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Which would make even less sense, since koalas aren’t bears, and they only eat leaves… wink

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Posted: 08 October 2011 10:37 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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I didn’t say it was a koala bear. Just a koala. And pandas only eat bamboo, so that part makes as little sense either way. (Unless you want to make sense of the literal definition, not the joke definition. But then you’re mixing reality and jokality, which makes even less sense. So let’s just stick with the jokality, where everything makes sense. Kind of like cartoonality.wink )

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Posted: 11 October 2011 05:33 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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Pandas aren’t allowed in bars either.

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Posted: 11 October 2011 06:15 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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Tah - 08 October 2011 10:37 AM

And pandas only eat bamboo, so that part makes as little sense either way.

Pandas eat bamboo shoots and leaves. raspberry

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Posted: 11 October 2011 08:32 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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Madmouse - 11 October 2011 06:15 PM
Tah - 08 October 2011 10:37 AM

And pandas only eat bamboo, so that part makes as little sense either way.

Pandas eat bamboo shoots and leaves. raspberry

I meant it as opposed to eating sandwiches. raspberry

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Posted: 11 October 2011 09:53 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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Tah - 11 October 2011 08:32 PM
Madmouse - 11 October 2011 06:15 PM
Tah - 08 October 2011 10:37 AM

And pandas only eat bamboo, so that part makes as little sense either way.

Pandas eat bamboo shoots and leaves. raspberry

I meant it as opposed to eating sandwiches. raspberry

Maybe it’s a bamboo sammich!

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