I also learned that crime labs can get DNA results in a matter of minutes. Or any other analysis, for that matter. Unless, it is crucial for the plot that the results take some time….
I also learned that crime lab personel will instantly recognize the mundane use of any chemical compound they find: “oh, this is Walmarts house brand hair tonic!”
I learned from Bones and various other crime series, that a physical anthropologist can glean sex, race, age and an assortment of pathologies from a quick 3 second glance on uncleaned bones in the field in just a few seconds.
I also learned that any marks on the bones are never ambiguous, and they will always find the exact tool that made them.
Which means the two physical anthropologists at our institute (including the one that was recently bought away by a top US Army lab) must suck at their job….
I learned from NCIS and Criminal Mind that your crime lab *must* have a geeky woman with either tattoos and Goth wear, or coloured hair and glasses, who can hack any database and find (even in *very* large databases) what you want in mere seconds.
I also learned that this involves typing very fast on a keyboard, usually on the middle alphabetical key row.
In addition, even if the culprit was apprehended because the crime lab nerd hacked a database or used imagery from a spy satellite (hacked as well, of couse, or accessed because a friend at the CIA or NRA secretly and against regulations provided a password - they do that, you know) on a domestic US citizen, this doesn’t seem to be any problem legally in the trial that follows…..
A surprisingly large number of spy satellites that I thought are owned and controlled by the NRO, are in fact property of the CIA or NSA, I learned from various TV series and TV movies.
Also, one geek behind a PC or Mac can control them and aim them at will, begging the question why there are complete squadrons with tens of personell employed to control them in real life….
These geeks also have the capability to let KeyHole satellites hover over any one location for hours if necessary. Wow, never knew a satellite in Low Earth Orbit could do that! I must tell the NRO, they will be excited about that!
I´ve learned from my internetcafe (this year and month 10 years in service!) clients that I´m supposed to photoshop something in a second… the hell with scanning, cleaning up etc.
And the worst is that they actually quote tv series like NCIS as how quick Abby does it.
So you try to explain… but no no no NO I´m ALL wrong and don´t know what I´m doing and they certainly won´t pay that price for it.
dumbf*cks
Or that any fault with their computer AFTER I´ve fixed that same problem for them before suddenly is my fault…
Also, one geek behind a PC or Mac can control them and aim them at will, begging the question why there are complete squadrons with tens of personell employed to control them in real life….
Also these geeks always live at home in the basement of their mother’s house surrounded by computers. .
Also, one geek behind a PC or Mac can control them and aim them at will, begging the question why there are complete squadrons with tens of personell employed to control them in real life….
Also these geeks always live at home in the basement of their mother’s house surrounded by computers. .
