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Things To Do In ...
Posted: 19 August 2005 04:37 AM   [ Ignore ]
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Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: ‘Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!’

Whistle the first seven notes of ‘It’s a Small World’ incessantly.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: ‘Got enough air in there?’

Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: ‘I’ve got new socks on!’

Meow occasionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Walk on with a cooler that says ‘human head’ on the side.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce ‘You’re one of THEM!’ and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask ‘Is that your beeper?’

Say ‘Ding!’ at each floor.

Say ‘I wonder what all these do’ and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your ‘personal space.’

Announce in a demonic voice: ‘I must find a more suitable host body.’

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

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Posted: 19 August 2005 09:33 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
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LOL
Is it scary that I would serioulsy consider doing most of that list the next time I’m in an elevator! Honestly, people shouldn’t put ideas in my head…

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Posted: 20 August 2005 03:01 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 2 ]
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I find it sad that I can’t do most of this things, as I only work on the second floor of the building!  Not enough time to do half of these things!

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Posted: 20 August 2005 07:15 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 3 ]
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sure there is! go up to the top of the building (where hopefully no-one knows you) and do ‘em as you come down again (press every button to make the time go slower). I dunno how many floors in your office so you’d know if it’d work or not!

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Posted: 20 August 2005 09:58 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 4 ]
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Thats great…i saw one a while ago like that, only it was things to do in walmart.

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Posted: 21 August 2005 07:56 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 5 ]
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hey ramones, are you talking about this one: ?

1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.

2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.

3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.

4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.

5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream “MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!”

6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos or rubles.

7. Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsellable.

8. Stomp on unopened tomato ketchup packets at Burger King…

9. ...but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that they’re “astronaut food.”

10. Follow patrons of B. Dalton’s around while reading aloud from “Dianetics.”

11. Ask mall cops for stories of World War II.

12. Ask a salesman why a particular television set is labeled black and white and insist that it’s a color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, “You mean you really can’t see it?”

13. Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Sears.

14. Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without warning.

15. Test mattresses in your pjyamas.

16. Ask the tobaccanist if his hovercraft is full of eels.

17. If you’re patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while rocking from side to side.

18. Sprint up the down escalator.

19. Stare at static on a display tv and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can see the “hidden picture.”

20. Ask appliance personnel if they have any tv’s that play only in Spanish.

21. Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda.

22. Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone.

23. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there’s much meat on them.

24. Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.

25. Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.

26. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray *them* with your own bottle of Eau de Swane.

27. Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens.

28. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.

29. In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, “I see London, I see France…”

30. Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.

31. Play the tuba for change.

32. Ask the Hamond organ dealer if he can play “Like a Virgin.”

33. Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers.

34. Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will “give you a really wicked buzz.”

35. Ask the personnel at Pier 1 Imports whether they have “any giant crap made out of straw.”

36. “Toast” plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display.

37. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.

38. Ask the information desk for a pram(stroller), and someone to push you around in it.

39. Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing “Saved by the Bell.” Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets.

40. Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling “scratch one flattop!”

41. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are “leakproof.”

42. “Play” the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises.

43. Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down.

44. Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to provoke arguments over whether they’re real.

45. If it’s Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on *your* lap.

46. Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say “Domino’s.”

47. Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself.

48. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.

49. Show people your driver’s license and demand to know “whether they’ve seen this man.”

50. Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn’t turned blue yet.

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Posted: 21 August 2005 09:32 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 6 ]
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My friend and I used to get in the elevator and jump a lot.  I’m not sure what it accomplished, but we told people coming in that is was just a little plummeting insurance.

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Posted: 22 August 2005 02:35 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 7 ]
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lol we still do that now, its fun to make the lift move around, just like its fun to run up an escalator the wrong way raspberry:)

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If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

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Posted: 22 August 2005 03:24 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 8 ]
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I’m loving the puppies.

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Posted: 22 August 2005 03:30 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 9 ]
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i guess thats aimed at me :s
In my defence, it’s just a laugh and i dont do it when anyone is coming down it :S

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Posted: 22 August 2005 03:38 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 10 ]
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If you’ve ever seen Mallrats, then it should mean something, but otherwise…I guess not.

That DAMN KID is back on the ESCALATOR!

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I’m loving the puppies.

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Posted: 22 August 2005 03:42 PM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 11 ]
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okay lol, i havent :S

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If you can’t handle someone at their worst,

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