From its ‘Goat Trauma News’ page…
As we are sure that anyone with Internet access has learned, a great portion of the country is experiencing unusual winter weather. Much colder than normal temperatures and large amounts of snow are widespread with no real end in sight. One of our Field Agents reported in this morning with disturbing possibilities.
So I was out by that barn that I reported in on a couple months back. You know, the one that looks like it houses dairy cows, but has that basement? Anyway, I went to make my usual rounds and check up on the local “population” and, just, wow. I never thought they’d be capable of something like this. One of the silos has been converted into I’m not sure what, but it’s not storing grain anymore. There’s this thing coming out of the top of it, and it seems to be shooting some kind of blue beams into the sky. I tried to get closer, but the goats have set up some kind of border patrol. They’re making regular rounds and man do they look hungry! I’m going to come back with more gear and some backup and see what we can find out. If I don’t check back in within two days, I might not. I’ll keep the home office updated as I can.”
So there you have it. One possible explanation for the abnormal frigid weather. This information, when compounded with the fact that the snow and cold has spread beyond this country makes for some frightening thoughts. Have goats discovered a way to control the weather? We can only hope not and that we hear from Agent H soon.