That comment was directed at Bebe’s interpretation of things, which was basically leading the guy along and playing into his feelings. Saying “You’re a gret guy, but I don’t like you that way” is fine. But as pointed out the guy is still going to think there might be a time in the future when he will be accepted.
Bebe’s interpretation of things basically said that as the female you are now supposed to be leading him on, leaning on him, taking emotional comfort in his presence despite having told him you don’t think of him in “that way”. You have to remember what I first said, too. Men are stupid. You can tell him that but if you continue to lead a guy on after that he’s going to think there’s still a chance there. So tell him that and then don’t lead him on. Simple.
I’m not sure where you got that! Although, I do believe in taking emotional comfort in anybody’s presence. If I’m not emotionally comfortable in someone’s presence then I do not want to be around them. If a man feels that a woman is “leading him on”, then I would advise him that she is perhaps not the right person for him.
I’m getting the impression that the male view is “all or nothing”. Your comments lead me to believe that if the male is interested physically and the woman isn’t then she should have no contact with him, because if she wants to be his friend, she is leading him on. And with most of my close male friends, I feel I should be comfortable talking about my boyfriend or anything that bothers me because I do not live in Stepford, and I expect my friends to listen and be compassionate. If the male can’t handle that, then he should tell me that he is uncomfortable listening to my problems and ask to change the subject.
I remember having a major crush on a guy and listening to him talk about his girlfriend problems, and thank God, I was mature enough to rise above my sexual urges and think about the emotional pain he was going through because I accepted the fact that he “didn’t like me in that way”, and if I would rather be somebody’s friend forever than a potential future ex-girlfriend. I eventually got over the crush, but we remained friends for year. Believe it or not, most people eventually break up, and it’s not always pretty. If you don’t believe me, look at the divorce rate.