|
mathematic proof that Women are Evil
|
Posted By:
LaMa
in Europe
Jun 14, 2005
|
Mathematic proof that Women are evil
first, we state that women require time and money:
Women = time * money
...and as we all know, "time is money":
Time = Money
...and therefore:
Women = Money * Money = (Money)^2
...and because "Money is the root of all evil":
Money = sqrt(evil)
...therefore:
Women = (sqrt[evil])^2
...and we are forced to conclude that:
Women = Evil
|
Comments
|
Page 1 of 2 pages 1 2 > |
Nick
in Merrie Olde Englande
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 11:09 AM
"first, we state that women require time and money:
Women = time * money"
this is your chance to apologise and withdraw this mathematical atrocity |
Winona
in USA
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 11:16 AM
But then, most men love women.
Therefore, men must also love evil, which makes men evil by proxy. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 11:27 AM
There is more mathematics that underlines the above conclusions, but rejects Noni's proposition that men are evil by proxy. Instead, it suggests thhat men are 'good', in the sence of the opposite of evil.
we start with the following statements:
The product of men and women = children
children = innocence = zero
then when;
women = evil
this means it must be:
men = good
because:
positive + negative = zero
so:
good + evil = zero
so;
men + women = children |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 11:33 AM
now: some might uphold that children = innocence = zero is incorrect, as they claim:
innocence = good
and hence:
children = innocence = good
men + women = children
then translates to:
men + evil = good
or;
evil = good - men with men > good because evil < zero
This means men = (good)^2 |
Boo
in The Land of the Haggii...
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 11:34 AM
1)If money is money, and time is money, then it would be women = money.
There are no specific numbers involved.
2) Children = innocence = zero? I think not. |
Boo
in The Land of the Haggii...
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 11:37 AM
And innocence is not the same as goodness anyway. |
Evildream
in You mamas house
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 01:48 PM
lama(l)+computer(c)= post(p)
p= stupid comment(sc)
sc+Evildream(E)+c= Pain
so (l+c)=p
p=sc
sc+E+c=P |
Boo
in The Land of the Haggii...
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 01:56 PM
Awww, bless.
It's like he's copying the adults!
LaMa, men need money and time too. So mathematically men are evil.
I'm taking this too far considering it's a joke, right? |
Stork in the absenbce of jeopardy!
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 09:18 PM
Okay, math wizards, here is fundamental practical proof that women are evil. Saturday, the woman asks me for 20 bucks to get some groceries. She comes home with a bag of stuff, a receipt for $12.83, and two $3.00 lottery tickets. I don't get the change. Oh, well, I think. She scratches off the tickets, and wins $96.00. She cashes the tickets in, and buys a T-shirt and a tank of gas, which leaves about $37.00 that just disappears. No further mention of my 20 bucks. Evil....they're just Evil. |
Stork in the absence of Jeopardy!
|
Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2005 | 09:37 PM
Perhaps I should mention that everything in the bag of groceries was only crap that she eats - not me. Except she did get a quart of milk, and I do like a 6 oz. glass of milk with my breakfast. So, I guess I spent 20 bucks for about 2-3 glasses of milk. Oh well, that's marriage. |
LaMa
in Europe
Member
|
Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 | 05:05 AM
LaMa, men need money and time too. So mathematically men are evil.
I'm taking this too far considering it's a joke, right? - Boo
Interesting proposition Boo. I think the rellationship between men and money is that men generate money, given enough time. So:
Money = Men * Time
and given that:
Money = sqrt(Evil)
this means:
sqrt(Evil) = Men * Time
and because Money = Time:
sqrt(Evil) = Men * Money
or alternatively:
Money = Men * Money
As you can see, Men cancels out in this equation:
Men = 1
So Men = 1, and Women = Evil
This also proves that Men are a constant. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
|
Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 | 05:41 AM
LaMa...You're never going to get a date if THIS is your pickup line!! |
Boo
in The Land of the Haggii...
Member
|
Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 | 11:52 AM
Men generate money given enough time - what, spontaniously? Women get periods, and men have a few days a month when cash comes out of their ... er...personals? |
Peter
|
Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 | 07:22 PM
"(Winona said)But then, most men love women.
Therefore, men must also love evil, which makes men evil by proxy."
This must be a good argument to support gay marraige. |
Evildream
in You mamas house
Member
|
Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 | 07:58 PM
Aww boo made funny...
well she can go fuc- her self |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
|
Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 | 08:46 PM
Hey, be nice, ED. 😠 |
HaHaHa
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 | 01:22 AM
Money is not the root of all evil.
Money is Power.And you can do many good and bad things,using it.It's all up to you. |
Krepps
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 | 03:19 AM
And that concludes Women=Power. And men like women, and therefore men like power, something they can't have. |
French Canadian
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 | 04:09 AM
but women are beautifull to die for. |
Maegan
in Tampa, FL - USA
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 | 04:57 AM
FC, seriously...don't start this here. |
David B.
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 | 06:49 AM
Women = Money * Money = (Money)^2
...and because "Money is the root of all evil":
No it's <a href="http://bible.gospelcom.net/passage/?book_id=61&chapter=6&version=45">"Love of money is the root of all evil"</a>
Love(Money) = sqrt(evil)
...inverse of love is hate...
Money = Hate(sqrt(evil)
Women = (Hate(sqrt(evil))^2
Women = (Hate(sqrt(evil)^2)
Women = Hate(evil)
Love(Women) = evil
So it's the love of women that is evil. That's why I'm such a commited misogynist.
😊 |
Nick
in Merrie Olde Englande
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 | 10:23 AM
A maths joke!
All the functions are at a party. x^2 is there, 1/x is there, even weird old cuberoot(x) has made an appearance. everyone if dancing and drinking and generally having a good time, except for exp(x). he's just sitting in a corner, minding his own business. x^2 comes up to him and says 'hey, exp(x), why dont you come dance? you should definitely integrate into the party!'
exp(x) just looks sad and says 'why? it wouldn't make any difference!' |
David B.
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 | 03:21 PM
Two mathematicians were trying to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along flat against the pole, stop it falling down, etc. Eventually an engineer comes along, sees their problem, and proceeds to lower the pole the ground and measure it easily.
After he leaves, one mathematician says to the other, "Typical engineer! We want to know the height and he tells us the length!" |
David B.
Member
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 | 03:28 PM
And just to be fair:
One day a farmer called up an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician and asked them how to fence of the largest possible area with the least amount of fence.
The engineer arranged his fence in a perfect circle and explained that his was the most efficient design.
The physicist laughed and made his fence a long, straight line, pointing out that eventually the fence would meet itself and that fencing off half of the Earth was certainly more efficient than the engineer's solution.
The Mathematician smiled indulgently. Taking up the stakes, he built the smallest fence around himself he could manage. As the others stared incredulously, he turned to the farmer and said "I declare myself to be on the outside." |
French Canadian
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 | 04:11 PM
I'd like to go to florida. are you a pretty american blue/eyed blond girl ? maegan. |
Jack
|
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 | 10:26 AM
Ok, lets go to the begining of mad kind.
To Adam and Eve.
The first person to be tricked by Evil was EVE. Eve yes, she was the first to bite the apple of the forbidden tree of knowledge. Then the newly EVE became evil and then made Adam take a bite.
So you don't need any math, you have the Bible which proves women were evil and stayed evil first. Why do you think the 10 comments exist. To protect men from the evil that women are.
Question is since Eve had this knowledge, did she plot Adam and all his future kids with pain. Think about it. Over the last 300 years and more that we learn in history, has women every change.. YES - Gotten more evil... Did men change... YES - Became more cowards because of all the evil women... From Day one for man kind, women became evil and stayed that way. For man only has evil if he has a woman. So if a man has no woman, then such man has no evil. Only way a man to commit evil, is if evil tricks him like what Eve did to Adam. One question still stands unanswered. Since it is only women who are evil, and from what I learn in biology about the X chomes. Since men are not evil by nature. As in by DNA. It is only where two X chromes proces the evil strand that give the women the genetic knowledge of being evil and such a B*tch. Think about it. just thinks about it. |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
|
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 | 10:32 AM
The main problem with your argument Jack, is that you are taking the Bible as fact, instead of fiction. Once you realize the error in that assumption your whole argument falls apart.
Besides, without women there wouldn't be any men, and therefore wouldn't be any evil. At least human evil. |
Jack
|
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 | 10:32 AM
And to add to it, since Eve was evil first, took the knowledge and all of the evil knoledge. When Adam bite the Apple, no evil knowledge was present infect Adam. Thats why God Created the Comments, to help us males to avoid the Evil nature of the mean women. |
Jack
|
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 | 10:37 AM
You are missing the point, mathmaticly or biblicly, women are evil. Yes with out them men won't be here, yet they are still evil. Double Standard is wrong, double sided laws are wrong. Just plain and simple women are evil and thats why this generation is messed up. |
Boo
in The Land of the Haggii...
Member
|
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 | 10:59 AM
Methinks someone isn't getting laid... |
Charybdis
in Hell
Member
|
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 | 11:37 AM
Thank you Boo. That makes me feel sooooo much better. [/sarcasm] :down:
Besides, how is this generation in particular messed up as opposed to prior generations? |
Boo
in The Land of the Haggii...
Member
|
Posted: Fri Jul 29, 2005 | 11:42 AM
Not you, eejit.
😛 |
Boob
|
Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 | 04:45 PM
fuck you all
men are evil.
I have proof.
men = blowjob
blowjob = sex
hence sex = satisfied
square root that and hes gone.
thank you bye |
Naxhil
|
Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 | 07:23 PM
Where would men be without women?
Still in the Garden of Eden! |
tc
|
Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 | 10:57 PM
"where would men be without women"?
richer!! |
A simple answer
|
Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 | 11:39 AM
I can't believe some of these comments, such childish arguing. This is meant to be humorous, but if you want an answer to the problem then let me offer this. Men should be men, women should be women, both should reproduce asexually, and they should stay the hell away from each other. |
Max Voice
|
Posted: Mon May 05, 2008 | 08:51 PM
I agree, women are evil.. |
Hi
|
Posted: Thu Jun 19, 2008 | 10:56 PM
Women and men can both be evil. Also, men wouldn't be in Eden, as men wouldn't have been born. It would have just been Adam and Even in Eden forever. And thats not the point. The math proof is just supposed to be funny. (The love of women = evil is also funny) |
TC
|
Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 | 02:23 AM
Lol good joke. Of course, it's not entirely accurate. People often forget domain restrictions. The proof of women = evil only works when money > 0.
From what I understand
women = time * money
So I'm assuming if money > 0, then the man is spending money on woman. What if a man was lucky enough to marry rich? Then if money < 0, then the man is receiving money from the woman.
If you're receiving money from women (especially true if you are receiving a lot of it or money << 0), she cannot be evil, because
Time has a domain restriction, where Time >= 0, Time is an element of real numbers. (You cannot spend a negative amount of time on women). However, Money is an element of all real numbers.
So Time only equals Money when both are positive numbers. Hence, if money < 0, time no longer equals money.
If time no longer equals money, the proof is flawed. Hence, a women who gives men money (money < 0) cannot be evil (by proof AND perhaps by definition). Evil is only women who takes men's money.
Proof credited to Kevin Federline. Partial credit to Paul McCartney.
Lol jokes. |
I Am Jebus
|
Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 | 10:53 AM
but since men=1 and women=evil, children, which is the product of men and women, must equal 1*evil. Therefore, children=evil. |
BIGPUNN
|
Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 | 12:41 PM
ya'll going way to into that s**t, its supposed to be funny, B***hs get over it, S**T! |
Fake Stan
|
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 | 12:13 PM
This equation is inacurate!!
heres my revised version
women are not!! evil, they are the root of all evil...
A Woman = Time + money -- NOTE!! (this is addition not a product!)
yes time is money
so we get
A woman = money + money
= 2 x money
We INTEGRATE with respect to money to get ALL WOMEN as 1 woman is dwoman
so
dwoman/dmoney = 2money
dwoman = 2money dmoney
integrating gives
Women = money
money is the root of all evil
Women = (sqrt(evil))
Women are the root of all evil |
Fake Stan
|
Posted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 | 12:28 PM
heres my revised version
the maths is harder but more scientifically sound
A Woman = Time + money -- NOTE!! (this is addition not a product!)
yes time is money
so we get
A woman = money + money
= 2 x money
We INTEGRATE with respect to money to get ALL WOMEN as 1 woman is dwoman
so
dwoman/dmoney = 2money
dwoman = 2money dmoney
integrating gives
Women = (2 money ^2)/2
Women = money^2
money is the root of all evil
Women = (sqrt(evil))^2
Women are evil |
Baz
|
Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 | 01:59 PM
'Money is the root of all evil?' wrong
'Love of money is the root of all evil' |
medskool101
|
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 | 09:29 PM
All I can say to your comment all women are evil is that you are a man thinking with a man's mind.
Let's go back further in time to when men first began thinking, because women weren't really even allowed to think until recently (and by recently I mean the last 200 years or so).
The first written records of the use of money date from 1200BC, in the area of land now known as Southern Algeria, although then it was covered with water. Inscriptions in stones record that 'twelve shekels' were paid into the bank account belonging to Algar Hammurabi, in return for 'use of his daughter' (that is no joke!). Men invented money and clearly used it to assign value of a woman's worth in terms of money. Now, it was around 5 thousand years ago when the concept of time keeping and the usage of calendars was invented by the Sumarians in the Tigris & Euphrates Valley. So, since women were not allowed to be scientists and thinkers by any means way back then, clearly, men invented delineation of time-change in terms of hours, days, months, years, etc...
So, my friend, if men invented money, and men invented time, and men have assigned values to women in terms of both, then MEN are the root of all evil.
I'll leave you with this lovely quote by Nietzsche: |
uhhhhhh
|
Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 | 04:03 PM
get your philosophy out of our math... ass. |
medskool101
|
Posted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 | 04:35 PM
My philosophy? Neitche is Philosophy, yes, but pull your head out of YOUR ass. Most of what I mentioned history. See the difference? Probably not because that would require you to actually have intelligence... instead all you have is the brain of an adolescent who never learned how to do math.
No, I would go so far as to say, you might want to consider giving up the human race, because obviously you would be better off spending more time with organisms of your mental capacity... such as these: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planarian |
hvod
|
Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 | 08:43 AM
the first comment is correct. the first line proves false.
women require time and money so the word and makes it + not *
so much easier to just say bitch btw.. |
Elle
|
Posted: Sat May 02, 2009 | 09:46 PM
This is so odd, the first google result site that comes up for 'men are evil' is a joke formula just like this one, though a little more complex, and the first for 'women are evil' is this. |
Pete
|
Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 | 03:28 AM
Nick women say much worse things about men just look at all the girl bands these days all man hating malebashers. Why dont you complain about that. |
Pete
|
Posted: Mon Sep 07, 2009 | 03:34 AM
The sad fact is most women hate men nowdays and have no problem showing it there out to get us. So for your own sake stay away from them. |
Blarb
|
Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 | 07:57 AM
medskool101 your argument is also flawed, women where equal to men as pagans |
Tati
|
Posted: Sun Oct 18, 2009 | 01:42 PM
alright, if women are evil then why are the majority of rapists, murderers, serial killers, and child molesters men? |
Badrinath
|
Posted: Mon Oct 19, 2009 | 02:22 AM
yes women are evil
according to Greek Mythology, women are a punishment given by ZEUS GOD |
Hah Seeb
|
Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 | 12:22 AM
this is the best equation i have ever seen. you are hilarious bro! I came up with some weird equation like this just the other day, while sitting in class. LOL.
Keep up the good work. It's because of solid research scientists like yourself that we make breakthrough life changing discoveries.
Rock on. |
Bensozia
|
Posted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 | 05:37 AM
Okay then.
We are evil. If so, what should we do?
Because stating that we are evil is all well and good. But that's a statement without any solutions.
As much as I assume most of you are guys who, like most guys, aimed for the bitchiest skanks and oh so surprisingly got their little hearts broken, I also suppose you must have this intelligence that made you think of such a equation.
So what's the solution? Exterminate women? Go back to that time where we had no rights?
Because my dear, men have ruled this world since humanity came to civilisation. You made all the important political, economic, social and scientific decisions. You brought this world to what it is today. And what does it look like? A sack of shit! Congrats!
Men made this planet a bowl of crap, they only have THEMSELVES to blame but they still want to put the responsibility of their own fuck-ups on women. Impressive... |
Steven Phyffer
|
Posted: Mon Dec 28, 2009 | 10:27 PM
women are evil! I'm sorry to say, I see it every day. She fools everyone except the one she's trying to spite!!!!!!!!!!! |
A wise guy
|
Posted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 | 12:19 AM
When I was with a woman for many years, she dictated my every step, she controlled my daily schedule, she caused my work to suffer, she caused me to lose friends, she caused me great stress without letup, yet I stayed because I was trying to be responsible and caring because women constantly blather that men are selfish jerks.
Big mistake! Women are evil, women absolutely contribute to the plight of mankind by directly or indirectly influencing men to make decisions based on the woman's whims.
If women didn't exist we men could finally get a few solid days of quiet time to get our thoughts together, then we could make the world a better place. Half the time we go to war just to get out of the house. It's the same reason we hunt and fish and work extra shifts and weekends. Because when we are home you drive us freaking nuts.
Women constantly nag, belittle, berate, complain, and will manipulate men so that the first chance that comes along they are ready to stab you in the back. They will do everything in their book of witchcraft to make you believe that you are the one who has problems when in reality they are the entire source of misery in your life.
And for what do men put up with this suffering? Not sex. Everybody knows the man only gets the sex he needs during dating. It's like a carrot in front of a horse. Once married the carrot only rarely is allowed to make an appearance, and that's usually just because your wife's mom is demanding grandchildren (she's also evil).
Money plays a big part too. Men are providers, women are takers. You can never work hard enough (make enough money) as a man because the woman will always need new clothes, new shoes, a new bigger closet to hold all the shoes, a bigger bathroom, a newer bathroom, in fact the entire house needs to be remodeled. You (man) go work and get ulcers and have a heart attack while I (woman) sit here and think of more ways to spend your money. Evil.
Women ARE evil. I know that if you're a woman you don't want to accept it. You just can't accept it. Just like you have absolutely no control over your daily thoughts and actions, you are completely impulsive, ruled by hormones and the tides, and spend your days thinking of all the things you can't wait to bitch about yet all the while you're plotting and arranging your dirty deeds just waiting for the right moment to put them into play when it's to your advantage.
It's a good thing you've got appealing curvy parts because that's the only reason we play the game. Men want sex not relationships. With multiple women. Then we want to have a sandwich and take a nap. When we wake up we don't want you to be there. We don't want to talk to you, except when we need to arrange for sex again. It's not because we are selfish, it's because women are evil and we don't want you to ruin our lives, and we know if we talk to you that's what will happen.
So we try to only communicate using simple "yes" and "no" mumbles and we try very hard to tune you out whenever possible. But we ARE responsible and think about the planet and we fully understand the need for procreation and so we are here to do our part. Now bring me a beer on your way out and by the way whenever we procreate I'm thinking about your sister because your constant nagging made you completely unappealing 8 years ago.
If we all accepted and followed these truths, the world would still be populated and mankind would be able to live in happiness without war and crime. Even the mean animals would chill out. But this cannot happen because unfortunately men do not learn this on their own until they are older when it is too late.
There is no way a woman can debate this for her thought process (I'll use that term lightly) is inherently flawed. As an experienced man I am in a position to make this known and I hope I have achieved my goal. Now everyone can stop arguing and just accept it: Women Are Evil. |
doesntmatter
|
Posted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 | 11:55 PM
i think this whole life is evil.
satan slept with eve (Gen: 3:15), she brought cain and abel into the world, cain killed abel, because he was as evil as his father, so all the offspring of eve is evil, that's why you get rapists, murderers, whores etc...
and its always been God's few people on earth vs. the rest of the world.
money is just a tool to control people, and to say " I am better than you, because i have more riches"
and thats why, the whole human race is evil, not just females.
end. |
Sniper, PUA
|
Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2010 | 02:31 AM
Yes Woman ARE evil,
Evil Attracts Evil
So, if you want women paint your nails black wear rings (materialism)and a pentagram does wonders. Make sure you have a car!
Showing your evil = smart/intelligent (for attracting Woman)
Evil x Intelligence = Attraction
Run an opener, neg the target. for example "your hair looks like rope" (If you look evil she's attracted this makes her chase YOU)
Then push her away like "Don't touch me!" (Remember girls are dangerous, and you need to push them of)
Always wear womans perfume to trigger pre-selection switch.
Isolate and fuck her!
Sniper, PUA |
|
Page 1 of 2 pages 1 2 > |
|
Note: This thread is located in the Old Forum of the Museum of Hoaxes.
|
