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The Rhinoceros Party
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Posted By:
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Mar 22, 2005
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Okay people, here's a good hoax/joke/satirical political party for you.
And yes, for many years it was actually a registered political party.
The only news release that I remember actually hearing on the radio from them dealt with changing which side of the road you drive on in Canada.
Because of the fact that this was going to take a huge effort, they wanted to phase it in slowly.
Starting with tractor-trailers and buses.
😊
They had all kinds of neat ideas, including:
- instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages
- tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset, or moving them one metre west as a make-work project
- legalising pot. And pans. And spatulas. And other kitchen utensils
- annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory (after the Yukon and North-West Territories) in Canada's backyard, in order to raise the mean temperature of Canada by one degree celsius
- declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons
- offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montréal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this)
"The party disbanded in 1993, when it chose to boycott that year's federal election due to new rules that deregistered any political party that did not run candidates in at least 50 ridings at a cost of $1,000 per candidature."
In 1980 they topped out with just a hair over 1% of the vote.
Answers.com has some info on these guys, <a href="http://www.answers.com/main/ntquery;jsessionid=rf1l2uve5g4f?method=4&dsid=2222&dekey=Rhinoceros+Party+of+Canada&gwp=8&curtab=2222_1&sbid=lc01a" title="here.">here.</a>
http://www.rhinoparty.ca/ is just a bunch of ads, mostly to do with stuffed animals and kids party supplies. Maybe someone out there actually WANTS a party with a bunch of rhinos, I dunno.
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Comments
Sharruma
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 07:22 PM
All good sensible policies
Especially the Annexing of the US
Well, it's a better reason than most wars are
fought over. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:05 PM
I once went to a sheep party, but that was a different thing. It was just abunch of really wooly people sheering each other. We'd spin a few records, spin a few sweaters. No worries. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:08 PM
In my experience, in all honesty, I have found that Llamas are the biggest party animals. They got the tongue. They got the hump. And they're from Peru, so there you go. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:10 PM
Dogs, on the other hand, do NOT know how to party... They get even a tiny buzz, and they start barking at shadows, and eatin the door off the fridge. And then they fart. Damn |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:14 PM
Cripes... I wonder if they make velvet paintings of Rhinos playing poker? They probably make 'em with them scary big eyes like they put on those creepy kids in velvet art... Kid Rhino Poker. yeah |
The Curator
in San Diego
Member
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:18 PM
My only question is: what about the ferrets? |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:26 PM
I've never partied with ferrets, but I hear they like to rock the house to the sounds of GWB snickering like one their own. I hear they like club drugs, too, so, I stear clear. Just say no. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:28 PM
I'm sorry- I mis-spelled "Steer". I've partied with bovines, too. White Russians are no problem, but you can't get their fat asses off the cowch. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:31 PM
I'm sorry- I didn't mean to suggest that White People from Russia have fat asses. I meant fat cows. Sorry. Mistakes were made. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:34 PM
ah, jeez- Uh, I wasn't saying that Fat White Russian People are like cows. They got the vodka, not the milk, right? I did party with some FWRP once... I still have the red mark |
The Curator
in San Diego
Member
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:34 PM
Do you mean that it's hard to moove their fat asses off the cowch? |
Smerk
in to mischief
Member
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:37 PM
Oh stop. Please! It hurts... |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 08:37 PM
whoa.. a bunch of fat white Russian rhinos partying with dogs, Llamas, wooly people, and ferrets would be some event, wouldn't it? I'd crash that party. I'd wear steel-toed shoes, tho |
Rod
in the land of smarties.
Member
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 09:03 PM
I see Hairy is in top form today... |
Chadds Ford Prefect
Member
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 09:12 PM
I party with ferrets daily, Alex and Hairy, and have been doing so for 21 years now. Without equal, they are party animals. |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 | 09:32 PM
Yeah, but the ferrets like to get really nuts with the glow sticks. Hope you don't wear glasses... Ferrets Can, however, clean up spills with their furry little butts |
Hairy Houdini
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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 | 09:24 PM
An elephant and a rhinoceros hooked up at a Rhino Party. What did the baby look like? Elephino |
John C. Turner Esq. Left Dishonorable
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Posted: Sun May 08, 2005 | 02:18 AM
wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeee!!! I love it EH!!! Just remember its MUCH more fun having a party than being a party!!!BUT if you folks are sick of the "same old circus,different clowns" situation that dominates politics in Canada these days and miss the "same old circus,same old clowns" situation when the Rhino Party was on the ballot then let's start a dialogue about reforming the Rhino Party.Lord knows that the Rhino Party needs reforming more than the Reform party, the Conservative party, the Liberal party and the Federal goverment combined. |
crazy dude man guy
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Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 | 07:47 PM
yeah...rhinos party all night long man...I saw this rhino at an ac/dc concert...it was filled with like...cheese |
Tischtennis
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Posted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 | 03:12 AM
I wonder if they make velvet paintings of Rhinos playing poker? They probably make 'em with them scary big eyes like they put on those creepy kids in velvet art... |
Laurence Knowles
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 | 06:14 PM
The rhinoceros party of Canada is still active and running in this election!
We have a leader running in Prince George BC the name is Mr. Turner.
He is 20-year-old university student before making statements people should check on the facts! |
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Note: This thread is located in the Old Forum of the Museum of Hoaxes.
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